Community Theatre Full Length

65 pages

5 m, 9 w

Here is an outrageous comedy for community theatres that puts the audience on the hot seat! A series of sixteen, quick-paced scenes illuminate the joys and tribulations of the modern theatre-going experience. In "An Audience of One," a single theatre patron delivers an impassioned monologue to convince the actors to perform the show just for her. The scene, "What the Crowd Is Thinking," allows us to hear the real thoughts of an audience sitting through an uninspired performance. In "Uber Ushers," a band of ushers, driven to the brink of madness by the boorish...

69 pages

4 m, 7 w

It's business as usual for Wilson and Associates, a suspiciously funny firm consisting of three flat-broke lady con-artists. They'll do practically anything to meet the rent, from reading horoscopes over the phone to renting themselves out as graveside mourners. One client, a dithering old lady, absent-mindedly drops the tidbit that she has just held up the local bank and the action springboards from there. The girls find themselves in a web of arson, counterfeiting and robbery and then, their worst fears are confirmed, the Better Business Bureau shows up! On...

38 pages

4 or 5 m, 4 w

Psychologist Dr. Henry Valentine is unexplainably late for an open house demonstration of his innovative group therapy ideas. Anna-Lee Silverstein, a temp stepping in due to Dr. Valentine’s secretary’s maternity leave, has never met the doctor. Learning this, a would-be patient, Elliot Noodleman, decides to impersonate the psychologist. As other potential patients arrive, Elliot creates his own “innovative” ideas for emotional therapy. Add in Lydia Bedford, a woman suffering from sinistrophobia (the fear of objects to her left); a community theatre director, ...

69 pages

6 m, 5 w

Two young innkeepers, Alex and Rolly, are struggling to make a success of a once-elegant hostelry in the Hamptons, but it's tough, especially with the owner Lucinda Pickle breathing down their necks. Of course it doesn't help that the hotel's permanent resident, Mrs. Prescott, collects pet mice; that the hotel chef, Cookie, is given to bursting into tears and resigning; and that a petty criminal, Willis the pickpocket, is looking for a place to hide out. When Hollywood horror movie producer Julian K. Silverblatt checks in with his vain bodyguard and his sneez...

79 pages

3 m, 3 w

Randolph Gaston has been murdered, and everybody is after the insurance money (including the deceased). The characters we meet are the grieving widow, the girl next door, the family maid, the minister, the French inspector, and the confused boyfriend -- BUT everyone isn't necessarily who they seem to be. A series of double (and double-double) crosses, mistaken identities, fake accents, hidden bodies, and phony mustaches all add up to a completely intriguing comedy.

63 pages

3 m, 4 w

In 1949, mystery writer Cornelia Sherwood’s book, Act of Murder, is adapted to the stage by the Bakersfield Playhouse in California, Cornelia plans a visit, taking her faithful secretary, Eunice Sparks, along. Eunice’s cousin, newlywed Rick Winslow, also resides in Bakersfield, so the ladies stop by to meet Rick’s new bride, the very beautiful and wealthy Tracy Bennett Winslow. They soon discover that Tracy is missing. But when she returns, safe, sound, and in the company of the amiable Father Hennessy, Rick insists Tracy is not really his wife. Corn...

70 pages

3 m, 5 w

The director of the Moon Lake Community Theater, Missy Bailey, has dreamed about directing a production of a 1930s psychological melodrama called “Night Comes Early.” As a teenager she saw a professional production of the play and it had a lasting impact. Now that the opportunity has come, she encounters overwhelming obstacles: cast members who don’t know their lines, who drop out at the last minute, who have psychological issues, and workmen who can’t finish building the set. No one is ready on opening night, but the show must go on, even without enough acto...

80 pages

6 m, 10 w, 2 flexible

Flashback to 1955, the stormy evening before the 33rd annual Knotting Bake-Off, brought to you by J & J Toothpaste. The contestants have gathered at the Knotting Inn down at the Jersey Shore, each hoping that their perfectly crafted baked good will win the coveted blue ribbon. It seems someone’s dessert is more deadly than tasty, though, when they discover an entire gaggle of bratty students have been poisoned during a press conference. It is clear that someone at the inn has a sweet tooth for murder. But who could the culprit be? The egotistical bake-off...

58 pages

4 m, 3 w, extras

Two old grumpy Polish ladies, Lottie and Bernice, become trapped in a television studio by a blizzard and end up taking over Western New York’s favorite morning show “Buffalo Yak.” Well, they do have some help. Two constantly bickering janitors, Hal and Sal, agree to handle the editorials while Candy Bickel, a wildly ambitious station intern who sees the blizzard as her break into media stardom, takes over the news desk. Neurotic program director Virgil Mooch tries to help, despite the fact that being on-camera makes him throw up. Lloyd Block, the station man...

63 pages

2 m, 4 w

Nola goes back to her parents' home after a disagreement with her boyfriend, Quincy, to sort through her problems in peace and quiet. What she finds instead is a circus of confusion. Her mother is dealing with repairs and redecoration of the house; her father refuses to help and escapes to work; and an energetic neighbor helps watch over Aunt Maggie, their somewhat vague relative who recently moved in after possibly poisoning her own cat ... and her late husband. Between the hidden money that turns up missing and Qunicy's arrival and bout with food (?) poison...

61 pages

3 m, 7 w

All the ladies at the Thelma Underwood Health Resort are either trying to date Duncan, the new counselor, or plotting how to get rid of Mr. Loggins, a sinister investor with visions of turning the place into a parking lot. Well, most of the ladies are plotting. Francis is busy mugging the cab driver for his Baby Ruth. And just when Duncan makes a play for the secretary, a newspaper reporter shows up to blow the lid off the place. Ulterior motives, hidden secrets and outrageous situations boil up in this all-too-human comedy about what some people will do to l...

74 pages

5 m, 5 w, 5 flexible (doubling possible)

Mr. and Mrs. Moss are the proud new owners of an old abandoned inn which they immediately want to restore and turn into a nightclub. Unfortunately, they're so busy overseeing suspiciously inept repairmen that they pay little attention to the local legend that tells of a treasure hidden somewhere on the estate. So when a severe storm develops forcing an unusual assortment of guests to stay the night along with the questionable workers, it doesn't take a genius to guess a murder will take place. With no help available, the hapless hosts take it upon themselves ...

74 pages

6 m, 8 w

Purdy, who runs her Showtime Café famous for such dishes as “Fistful of Dollar Pancakes” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Ham,” is getting ready for a food critic, hoping for a great write-up. But that’s the least of her worries when she learns her old boyfriend is back in town. She and Austin made a pledge that if they weren’t hooked up with anyone else in twenty-five years they’d get together. Amelia and Celia, two gossips, have it all over town in no time! Jeanie, the teen who works for Purdy, thinks it’s so romantic and soon she and Cody Barnes get engaged! ...

67 pages

3 m, 3 w

Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than th...

65 pages

5 m, 5 w, 7 flexible

Ernestine Webb is overwhelmed by the day-to-day pressures of managing the $77 million Webb fortune. When her slightly senile friend, Miss Pomfrey, visits bemoaning the loss of her beloved gerbil, and the heirs think it's Mother Webb who has died, Ernestine realizes that death is one way to get out from under all the hassles. She cooks up an elaborate plot to fake her demise. To see how much they've inherited, her greedy children fall all over each other in an attempt to find their mother's will and when they can't find it, they simply make up their own. Wild ...