Melodramas and Westerns

50 pages

Cast: 6 m, 3 w

Hard times have come on Gumption Gulch and Grandma Gertie Parker is forced to open a clothes-washing service to earn extra money. Even Sheriff Gideon Gumption is “moonlighting” (though the term has him totally baffled) at the stagecoach office and a local lunch spot. Grandma Gertie’s old nemesis has sent her two boys, Luther and Ulysses Bragg, to town to put Gertie’s laundry service out of business as payback for an old feud. Add in a possum-farming brother and sister couple (Elrod has a serious case of “the anxieties”), a blacksmith who dreams of being a comedian, a crazy wandering minstre...

58 pages

3 m, 6 w, 3 flexible parts

The Culpeppers open the doors to the Last Chance Inn once again in this hilarious sequel to "Last Chance Inn, Calamity Gulch." Ma's just as harried, Pa's just as cantankerous, and Horace Prickley is just as villainous! This time he plots to woo and wed the woeful Widder Black and take control of her fortune. It seems, however, that Horace may have to share the money with the Widder's noble nephew, Peter Loveless...if the young man finds a bride before the week is out. Enter two likely prospects - Pansy Perriwinkle (the most annoyingly sweet heroine ever to grace a melodrama stage!) and ...

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)

Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax works great on cuticles. Add a...

55 pages

4 m, 6 w

Ivory Keyes, the sharp-tongued, shoot-from-the-hip piano player from the "Calamity Gulch" trilogy, is back in her own brand-new adventure. When Ivory learns that her uncle, Lord Ebony Keyes, has died, she and Sheriff Prettyfoot travel to England to claim the inheritance. The family solicitor, Basil Q. Wainscoting, Esquire, plots to keep the estate to himself by proving Ivory to be "unvirtuous." His plans are foiled when his handsome nephew, Heathcliff, a poet, falls instead for pretty secretary, Paisley Fairfax. Before too long, a storm is raging outside and a murder has been committed i...

28 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 flexible

An evil banker, Char Cole, wants the land the church sits on to build a casino. He sends a bogus mortgage bill demanding the church pay a $10,000 balloon payment to scare the congregation in to selling him the property for a fraction of what it is worth. Church members hurriedly decides to submit a secret barbecue recipe to a contest in hopes of winning the huge cash prize. They even open a barbecue restaurant in the church to raise money. Meanwhile, Miss Phit, the bumbling church secretary, is constantly getting the bulletins and newsletters wrong, sending misleading and funny informat...

63 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 extras

1920s Hollywood is the setting of this melodrama. Sneakypete Underhand, a villainous doctor, and his henchwoman, nurse Heide Bedpann, are hired to work at a silent movie studio, where Sneakypete quickly hatches a plot to kidnap a top star, Verily Speakwell. Little do they know that when talking pictures arrive, the actress has such a horrible voice her career will be doomed! Sneakypete ends up disguised as a harem dancer to fool the director, Alfred Hitchkick, and the co-stars, including Manly Jawline, a dim movie hero, and Peerless Sneer, the ham actor who plays the villain. When scrip...

55 pages

Cast of 21: 2 m, 9 w, 10 flex. Possible extras and doubling.

It’s the year 1890 in Saddlesore City. The Carson Hotel is a fun place to hang your hat and jist have a good ole time with friends and neighbors - playin' cards, dancin', laughin',singin', gossipin' and…drinkin' sassafras root beer by the gallons! Well, that's the way it used to be when Charles was alive but now it's just a sorry-eyed, sad-faced, ghost of a place where even the spiders are bored out of their minds!

35 pages

14 parts. (with doubling 2 m, 1 w, 3 flexible)

Yazoo! Get ready for one tall tale of adventure as Sheriff Cyclone Malone must protect his town, Yazoo Junction, from evil pirates! The pirate captain, along with two bumbling crewmen, has somehow managed to build a submarine – with torpedoes! – and is sailing on the river outside of town. Cyclone’s gonna need help to deal with this problem. The sweet schoolmarm (and Cyclone’s gal) Cozy Dumond tries to get a message to the neighboring sheriff, but she is tricked by the disreputable Violent Lavender, captured and tied to the submarine’s periscope. Cyclone and his faithful albeit fussy hor...

36 pages

3 m, 7 w

The fairy tales of Cinderella and Snow White are lassoed together in this high-kicking western melodrama! Goldie Miner had to give up her infant daughter, Ashabelle, 18 years ago to eke out a living panning for gold, but she thought she left her with a good family. Now she's returned with plenty of gold for her daughter but finds Ashabelle wears patched clothes and does all the stepfamily's chores. When Ashabelle isn't allowed to go to the ball, her mother fixes her right up, including a pair of new boots. The next morning Earnest Lee Feelgoode finds the belle of the ball he fell in lov...

40 pages

5 m, 6 w, 8 flexible, 6 children

It is business as usual at the Mega-Bite Candy Company. Pop Tart is stirring the chocolate, Stretch is headed for the Taffy Room, Cookie the Clown is preparing to host a tour of young school children, Jan and Dean are experimenting with new flavors of candy, and--most significantly--Graham Cracker is looking for Kandy Kane. As Graham searches for Miss Kane and attempts to propose, Grimsley Krumkake, a dastardly villain posing as a vat inspector, enters with his dopey sidekick, Bink. Thus is set in motion a fiendish plan to take over the world, beginning with the Mega-Bite Candy Company. ...

42 pages

7 m, 6 w, and 3 men from audience

The Fool family has found gold on their homestead and now the whole county has been drawing gold diggers - including two outlaws, the evil Wiley Slithers and Dr. What, a hopeless kleptomaniac. Slithers devises a plan to get rid of Ma and Pa Fool and son Ura so he can marry the lovely daughter, Ima. However, she is stronger than a horse and refuses to marry any man until he can beat her in arm wrestling. Not only that, but Slithers and Dr. What must also outsmart the guy Ima has her heart set on, the handsome milkman, Sam Lactose. Local loonies complicate the evil plan and three neighbor...

24 pages

12 actors (3 m, 3 w, 6 flexible)

Tomorrow is opening night at The Grand Old Theatre and Mastermime, a notorious criminal who distracts audiences with entrancing mime routines and then disappears with their valuables, has defaced the theatre marquee and is terrorizing the stagehands. Will hard-boiled detective Stanton Ovation and his earnest sidekick Deputy Hammet Upp capture this mute but expressive villain before he steals self-absorbed celebrity actress Ima Starr’s diamonds? Or is there more to this case than it seems? Ima’s talkative assistant Roberta, who was a forensic scientist before entering the glamorous world of ...

36 pages

8 m, 7 w, flexible extras

It's the late 1890s, and the little town of Astaire, Wyoming, ready to enter the new century as the "Paris of the Plains," has just elected the first female sheriff west of the Mississippi! Daisy Dandelion vows to bring about law and order with just a law book and "good ol' female common sense." The mayor, who's always looking at the “big picture," and his town council are holding a hoedown in honor of Daisy, who loves to dance. But this celebration is tap-dancing with trouble! One young woman, in a burst of defiance against husbands ruling the roost, encourages the ladies to march around...

28 pages

4 m, 4 w

In order to save his darling Lily Lackamoney from the clutches of the rapscallion J. Tamarack Gargle, the hero, Balderdash Trustworthy, goes to the city to find the necessary money. Gargle, determined to have the fair damsel, employs the dirty work of Maxine Mascara to throw Balderdash into the river. However, just as the preacher is pronouncing Lily and Gargle man and wife, Balderdash enters in a blaze of glory! One act.

82 pages

Flexible cast from 16 to 50+

This great romantic melodrama of the Yukon Territory has it all! Come visit the world of Lester Lawless, Lotta Pidee, Loooney Yoursin, and many others including miners who can't find stakes, trappers who can't find pelts, and Mounties who can't find anyone as they weave a story of Wild West intrigue. Narrators and Sign Gals help dictate active audience involvement as villains are thwarted, heroes and heroines are blissfully united, enemies become friends, widowed matrons are reunited with lost children, and orphans live happily ever after. In addition to a colorful cast, the stage crew, G...