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  Madam's Been Murdered, Tea Will Be Late

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

75 pages

7 m, 6 w


Have you ever wanted to stay in an old, drafty English manor with a serial murderer and a ghost running loose in the dark? Who hasn't? Houndstooth Manor simply abounds with atmosphere. "We're lousy with it," the butler intones as he casts a suspicious eye over the paying guests, wondering who is next to be murdered. Will it be the pompous, retired Major who's always going on about how he stopped some uprising "with just a few well-chosen words and a flame thrower." Or maybe the honeymooning couple who know more than they'd like you to believe. Or maybe the fo...

  The Money in Uncle George's Suitcase

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 5 w


When Uncle George invites his whole family up for a weekend of fun at his rustic cabin, he actually wants them together so he can read his will. But between the bequeathing and his rambling stories, George drops the bomb that somewhere on the property is a suitcase holding four hundred and eighty thousand dollars! What follows is a hilarious farce of pettiness, slander, and greed. The relatives end up wrestling each other, falling down the stairs, and getting stuck in the furniture. "Yep, we're gonna have lots of fun!" says George as he's seen carrying a shov...

  Insane With Power

Comedy by Scott Haan

67 pages

3 m, 3 w


Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than th...

  Crazy Quilt Club

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

65 pages

1 m, 8 w (or 9 w)


Veronica Blather is a sweet little old lady who spends most of her time knitting and solving murders, most of which occur whenever she shows up. Understandably she has a problem finding a place to live. When her niece invites her to stay at a retirement home for old knitters, it seems ideal - until one of its members dies from drinking poisoned punch. Who did it? Was it Matilda, the president of the Crazy Quilt Club, or Lydia, who likes to die on Tuesdays? Could it be Clara, who's a compulsive liar, or the wisecracking Sarafina who doesn't trust anybody and c...

  Going Bare

Comedy by Mary Jane Taegel

68 pages

3 m, 2 w


Dr. Jack Ramsay, an obstetrician/gynecologist, is "going bare," that is, going without insurance coverage to avoid paying outrageous malpractice premiums. When he is hit with a frivolous lawsuit to the tune of $4.2 million, Jack and his devoted wife, Barbara, conspire to get a divorce that puts all their assets into her name. "You'll be too poor to sue because I'll have all your money," she chirps. Possibly a destitute doctor will discourage the plaintiff's attorney from pursuing a large settlement. Jack loves the idea and so the divorce plans proceed over th...

  Barbecuing Hamlet

Farce by Pat Cook

69 pages

5 to 6 m, 7 w


Wouldn't it be great fun to direct William Shakespeare's "Hamlet"? That was what Margo Daley always thought...until she is hired to do just that by the Peaceful Glen Memorial Players in their theater, a renovated funeral home. They DO have a couple of conditions, however. Margo has to make the play a melodrama, so the audience will know when to throw the popcorn. And they can't be too loud because the lady who lives under the theater bangs her cane on the stage. Oh, and Margo has to insert the sponsors' names into the play and, by the way, has to take place i...

  The Lottie & Bernice Show

Comedy by L. Don Swartz

58 pages

4 m, 3 w, extras


Two old grumpy Polish ladies, Lottie and Bernice, become trapped in a television studio by a blizzard and end up taking over Western New York’s favorite morning show “Buffalo Yak.” Well, they do have some help. Two constantly bickering janitors, Hal and Sal, agree to handle the editorials while Candy Bickel, a wildly ambitious station intern who sees the blizzard as her break into media stardom, takes over the news desk. Neurotic program director Virgil Mooch tries to help, despite the fact that being on-camera makes him throw up. Lloyd Block, the station man...

  Penny for Your Thoughts

Comedy by Scott Haan

83 pages

3 m and 7 w (With optional extended ending: 7 m and 8 w)


Penny Ramsey is a young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality. They are personified in the story by comically stereotypical characters, collectively known as the Egos. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s bo...

  Ring Around Rosalie

Farce by Whitney Ryan Garrity

72 pages

Cast: 6 m, 6 w


This funny, fast-paced farce begins in 1933, at the end of Prohibition. Benito “Benny” Bellarosa, a New York gangster, is attempting to make good on his promise to become a respectable businessman and join the board of the New York Bank and Trust. Meanwhile, his rebellious daughter Rosalie concocts a plan to free herself from the confines of her room. She leads Benny to believe that she is “in the family way,” hoping he will allow her to leave the house and marry her boyfriend. Unfortunately, Rosalie’s lover disappears and Benny is left with more suitors (and...

  Nosferatu: Legend of Dracula

Horror by L. Don Swartz

76 pages

21 characters. 6 to 8 men, 8 to 10 women,


No modern-day monster can equal the chill factor than that of Dracula and his nosferatu, the undead who must feed on the blood of the living to exist. Their lust, shown only in the darkest hours, haunts even the bravest of us mortal souls. This adaptation of Bram Stoker's 1897 novel is done with a sure and steady hand by frightmesiter L. Don Swartz. We encounter Dracula's horror from his centuries-old castle in Europe, to the ship he travels on, and finally to his new feeding grounds near an English asylum. When Dracula causes the death of a young woman named...

  The Misanthrope

Classic by Robert Cohen

63 pages

7 m, 3 w


Molière’s comic masterpiece centers on the character of the French courtier Alceste and the beautiful young widow Célimène he hopes to marry. But the two have radically different personalities: Alceste is a snob who insists on telling everyone the truth as he sees it, and Célimène’s instinct is to tell people - and particularly attractive men - only what they are dying to hear. So Célimène flirts and gossips with the courtiers who come to her house while Alceste fumes in jealousy. A virtual menagerie of other characters seek to intervene, either to bring the ...

  When Bullfrogs Sing Opera

Comedy by Carl L. Williams

72 pages

3 m, 4 w


Here is a sweet comedy featuring a social-climbing sister who tries to keep her visiting country sister from embarrassing her among her new society friends. Meet Millicent and Coreen – two girls who grew up in Bullfrog Waller. Millicent is now a big-city snob. Her sister, Coreen, on the other hand, chose to stay in the country…until now! How can Millicent keep her embarrassing past a secret when Coreen, as country as cornbread and grits, shows up spouting her backwoods sentiments to everyone at Millicent's party? Frantic, Millicent decides to pass Coreen off ...

  Love Thy Neighbor

Comedy by Gary Ray Stapp

75 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 flexible, optional 1 boy


Armed with a sharply judgmental attitude and a pair of binoculars, homeowner Leona Crump is consumed with anxiety over her new neighbors. Will they be California beatniks? Or paroled drug pushers? Or more frightening yet, perhaps someone with children?! Her worst fears are realized when an odd-ball "hill-folk" family move in across the street. She quickly realizes that neither God, nor her favorite telephone psychic, has prepared her for the series of showdowns set to take place in her living room. Gafina Hambefferschmidt, an obnoxious, gum-chewing woman, tog...

  Scrambled

Comedy by Pat Cook

74 pages

6 m, 8 w


Purdy, who runs her Showtime Café famous for such dishes as “Fistful of Dollar Pancakes” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Ham,” is getting ready for a food critic, hoping for a great write-up. But that’s the least of her worries when she learns her old boyfriend is back in town. She and Austin made a pledge that if they weren’t hooked up with anyone else in twenty-five years they’d get together. Amelia and Celia, two gossips, have it all over town in no time! Jeanie, the teen who works for Purdy, thinks it’s so romantic and soon she and Cody Barnes get engaged! ...

  The Widow in Mink

Comedy by Carl L. Williams

65 pages

2 m, 5 w


Margaret Osgood, a sweet, quiet woman who is somewhat oblivious to details, is now shocked to find herself a recent widow and quite wealthy. She tries to adjust to her new life, first by buying herself a mink coat, a long-awaited extravagance, and joining the Wandering Widows’ Club where she makes good friends and creates a new social life. She soon finds herself pursued by Charlie, her late husband’s business partner, who questions her desire to donate much of her new-found money to charity. Is he just concerned about her financial future or is he more inter...