Full Length (1-10 Actors)

56 pages

3 m, 3 w

Lacy Casey is socially awkward, has a goofy sense of humor, and has raised clumsiness to an art form. If you look in the dictionary under "adorkable," you'd find a picture of Lacy.  Her friends Sue and Trevor love her quirkiness and accept her for who she is. When Lacy goes out on her first date with Bryce, she assumes it will be their last date. After all, her ungraceful mannerisms practically destroy their dinner, and he keeps calling her by the wrong name. But he comes back for more ... Meanwhile, Trevor harbors a ...

68 pages

4 m, 6 w

"I've had trouble breaking into a house before but this is the first time I've had problems breaking OUT again!" So moans Merle to his partner, Howie. These two minor-league burglars have really met their match this time, it seems. They decided on a house only to find, after managing to get into the place, that it's up for sale and before they can leave, Conrad and Glenda, prospective buyers, show up. Merle figures they have two choices - either pretend to be real estate agents or beat it, making the buyers suspect them and call in the police. Merle begins to...

68 pages

Widely flexible from 5 to 29

If you think you’ve suffered too many awkward moments or been in the dark in conversations, just think how poor, innocent aliens feel! Hungry to fit in, (a little too hungry at times!) they do and say things that we humans aren't allowed to. Join in the laughter as these extraterrestrials meet all kinds of humans -- teenagers, rednecks, survivalists and the most enigmatic, tech support nerds. Will these hapless aliens be able to figure out the daily rituals of dating, gossiping at the water cooler, camping, or even fixing our computers? The aliens have the kn...

63 pages

Cast: Minimum of 5 with doubling: 2 m, 2 w, 1 flexible.

The hip-hop standard of the 1980s said it best: "There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand!" Here is a collection of hilarious (and often too close to the truth) scenes that all families are going to be able to relate to. This easy-to-stage comedy is a lighthearted look at a "greatest hit list" of classic family moments. Remember when Dad tried to teach you to drive? Or Mom decided that she would help pick out your wardrobe? How about those family vacations when you were stuck in the backseat for hours on end with your annoying sibling, headed f...

68 pages

4 m, 5 w

This zany comedy, in the spirit of Kaufman and Hart, centers on Doc, an eccentric old man whose house caters to all sorts of characters. Now a retired judge, he spends his days “enjoying life.” When he’s not flying around the countryside in his balloon or fishing in a nearby dry riverbed, he works on his books of nonsense. This prompts his daughter, Charlotte, to decide he’s lost his marbles. So, conspiring with a sly lawyer, she plans to not only become his guardian but also sell his house and property. Throw in a psychologist on her first case, love sick te...

57 pages

3 m, 6 w

You think it's easy to write a murder? Just ask the Marquis Crossing Ladies Society for the Arts. They decide to do just that, especially when they find out they have to pay royalties to do someone else's play. "Anybody can write a murder," Emma tells the others, and Opaline immediately begins to try to strangle the other members "just to figure out how to do it." The ladies soon find themselves writing an "operatic murder mystery dinner theater with possible audience participation," providing no one sells fruit to the audience. Then two actual convicts on th...

71 pages

5 m, 6 w, 18 flexible or with doubling 3 m, 3 w

Snow day! In this collection of hilarious scenes we see how an unexpected day off from school can be an answer to a prayer…or not! Sweethearts Mark and Jessica aren’t feeling very sweet when, after a whole night of decorating the gym, the winter homecoming dance is canceled. Meanwhile, Paul is thrilled to get an invitation from Mary to go sledding, if only his overprotective mother will chill. Then there’s poor Julie – will she ever figure out how to get her tongue unstuck from the frozen flagpole? Woven throughout the many scenes, Trenton, a student, and Mr....

65 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 boy

Lillie Scones is a sweet retired nanny who runs a boarding house with one resident and "a cat the size of the Louisiana Purchase." Her two friends, Jocelyn and Carmella, help to pass the time by listening to music and gossiping. Then Stuart, an old charge of hers, rents a room. Lillie is tickled to have him around again, not knowing he is planning on robbing the bank on the corner. Stuart's mind may not be totally on the bank job, however, when he meets Betty. However, when Stuart finds out that Betty is about to graduate from an academy on the very night the...

72 pages

3 m, 5 w

When Uncle George invites his whole family up for a weekend of fun at his rustic cabin, he actually wants them together so he can read his will. But between the bequeathing and his rambling stories, George drops the bomb that somewhere on the property is a suitcase holding four hundred and eighty thousand dollars! What follows is a hilarious farce of pettiness, slander, and greed. The relatives end up wrestling each other, falling down the stairs, and getting stuck in the furniture. "Yep, we're gonna have lots of fun!" says George as he's seen carrying a shov...

62 pages

Widely flexible cast of 32. (Minimum: 2 m, 1 w, 2 flexible.)

Ever wonder why your cat acts like he's king of the world? Or why flamingos stand on one leg? Have you ever imagined what a spider would have to say to a fly just before devouring him, or what "small talk" sounds like when a cannibalistic female praying mantis goes on a date with a naive male praying mantis? Well, Bryan Starchman has given the animals of the world a voice in this hilarious comedy. Focusing on simple costumes and sets, a large flexible cast, and ten whacky scenes, your audience will get to see and hear what animals really think about us humans...

67 pages

3 m, 3 w

Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than th...

58 pages

9 – 46 performers possible

We all know the nursery rhyme "Hey Diddle Diddle," but when you stop to think about it...how can a cow jump over the moon? If a cat could play the fiddle, wouldn't it be all over the internet? Why is a dish running away with a spoon? What’s the little dog actually laughing at? And how do they all connect with each other? This family comedy offers seven different outlandish tales speculating about what might be “The True Story of Hey Diddle Diddle.” It has a completely gender-flexible cast of 9-46 actors and runs about 55 minutes in length. Its target audience...

63 pages

2 m, 4 w

Nola goes back to her parents' home after a disagreement with her boyfriend, Quincy, to sort through her problems in peace and quiet. What she finds instead is a circus of confusion. Her mother is dealing with repairs and redecoration of the house; her father refuses to help and escapes to work; and an energetic neighbor helps watch over Aunt Maggie, their somewhat vague relative who recently moved in after possibly poisoning her own cat ... and her late husband. Between the hidden money that turns up missing and Qunicy's arrival and bout with food (?) poison...

65 pages

1 m, 8 w (or 9 w)

Veronica Blather is a sweet little old lady who spends most of her time knitting and solving murders, most of which occur whenever she shows up. Understandably she has a problem finding a place to live. When her niece invites her to stay at a retirement home for old knitters, it seems ideal - until one of its members dies from drinking poisoned punch. Who did it? Was it Matilda, the president of the Crazy Quilt Club, or Lydia, who likes to die on Tuesdays? Could it be Clara, who's a compulsive liar, or the wisecracking Sarafina who doesn't trust anybody and c...

46 pages

4 m, 3 w, 2 flexible

A cantankerous grandfather, ill-tempered and paranoid, is determined to think that his grandkids, three young adult siblings, are trying to kill him for their inheritance ($642 and a postcard collection). Grandpa doesn't mind shouting it down the halls of his apartment building to alert whatever neighbors he can. So when Grandpa suddenly slumps forward, face down in the birthday cake at his surprise party, the grandkids realize it looks like murder and they're the suspects. What follows is a fast-paced series of charades, plot twists, off-beat humor and one-l...