Full Length ( 1-10 Actors)

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  You Can't Beat The House

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 6 w


"I've had trouble breaking into a house before but this is the first time I've had problems breaking OUT again!" So moans Merle to his partner, Howie. These two minor-league burglars have really met their match this time, it seems. They decided on a house only to find, after managing to get into the place, that it's up for sale and before they can leave, Conrad and Glenda, prospective buyers, show up. Merle figures they have two choices - either pretend to be real estate agents or beat it, making the buyers suspect them and call in the police. Merle begins to show the house while Howie...

  Just Another Snow Day

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

71 pages

Cast: 5 m, 6 w, 18 flexible or with doubling 3 m, 3 w


Snow day! In this collection of hilarious scenes we see how an unexpected day off from school can be an answer to a prayer…or not! Sweethearts Mark and Jessica aren’t feeling very sweet when, after a whole night of decorating the gym, the winter homecoming dance is canceled. Meanwhile, Paul is thrilled to get an invitation from Mary to go sledding, if only his overprotective mother will chill. Then there’s poor Julie – will she ever figure out how to get her tongue unstuck from the frozen flagpole? Woven throughout the many scenes, Trenton, a student, and Mr. Ruffino, his drama teacher, bat...

  Parents Just Don't Understand

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

63 pages

Cast: Minimum of 5 with doubling: 2 m, 2 w, 1 flexible.


The hip-hop standard of the 1980s said it best: "There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand!" Here is a collection of hilarious (and often too close to the truth) scenes that all families are going to be able to relate to. This easy-to-stage comedy is a lighthearted look at a "greatest hit list" of classic family moments. Remember when Dad tried to teach you to drive? Or Mom decided that she would help pick out your wardrobe? How about those family vacations when you were stuck in the backseat for hours on end with your annoying sibling, headed for a camping trip in the mid...

  No Signs Of Intelligent Life

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

68 pages

Cast: Widely flexible from 5 to 29


If you think you’ve suffered too many awkward moments or been in the dark in conversations, just think how poor, innocent aliens feel! Hungry to fit in, (a little too hungry at times!) they do and say things that we humans aren't allowed to. Join in the laughter as these extraterrestrials meet all kinds of humans -- teenagers, rednecks, survivalists and the most enigmatic, tech support nerds. Will these hapless aliens be able to figure out the daily rituals of dating, gossiping at the water cooler, camping, or even fixing our computers? The aliens have the knowledge to increase food product...

  Born To Be Wild

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

62 pages

Cast: Widely flexible cast of 32.


Ever wonder why your cat acts like he's king of the world? Or why flamingos stand on one leg? Have you ever imagined what a spider would have to say to a fly just before devouring him, or what "small talk" sounds like when a cannibalistic female praying mantis goes on a date with a naive male praying mantis? Well, Bryan Starchman has given the animals of the world a voice in this hilarious comedy. Focusing on simple costumes and sets, a large flexible cast, and ten whacky scenes, your audience will get to see and hear what animals really think about us humans! Stretch your actors -- and you...

  True Story Of Hey Diddle...

Comedy by Bradley Walton

58 pages

Cast: 9 – 46 performers possible


We all know the nursery rhyme "Hey Diddle Diddle," but when you stop to think about it...how can a cow jump over the moon? If a cat could play the fiddle, wouldn't it be all over the internet? Why is a dish running away with a spoon? What’s the little dog actually laughing at? And how do they all connect with each other? This family comedy offers seven different outlandish tales speculating about what might be “The True Story of Hey Diddle Diddle.” It has a completely gender-flexible cast of 9-46 actors and runs about 55 minutes in length. Its target audience is all ages, with various level...

  Little Women

Drama by L. Don Swartz

76 pages

From the novel by Louisa May Alcott


This poignantly-drawn play chronicles the life-changing events of the March family during a turbulent period of the Civil War. Marmee, the loving mother, and Hannah, the loyal housekeeper, steer the family through troubled waters while Father is away ministering. The four March daughters include Meg, the oldest who's determined to acquire the finer things in life; Jo, tomboyish yet passionate about her writing; Beth, a quiet musician; and Amy, the youngest, an artist who tends to put on airs. Their joys, sorrows, loves and losses are played against the backdrop of a divided country. Thro...

  Murder Me, Murder Me Not

Comedy Mystery by William Springer

79 pages

3 m, 3 w


Randolph Gaston has been murdered, and everybody is after the insurance money (including the deceased). The characters we meet are the grieving widow, the girl next door, the family maid, the minister, the French inspector, and the confused boyfriend -- BUT everyone isn't necessarily who they seem to be. A series of double (and double-double) crosses, mistaken identities, fake accents, hidden bodies, and phony mustaches all add up to a completely intriguing comedy.

  Penny For Your Thoughts

Comedy by Scott Haan

83 pages

3 m and 7 w (With optional extended ending: 7 m and 8 w)


Penny Ramsey is a young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality. They are personified in the story by comically stereotypical characters, collectively known as the Egos. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s boss) Mrs. Killian. Maybe things c...

  Crazy Quilt Club

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

65 pages

1 m, 8 w (or 9 w)


Veronica Blather is a sweet little old lady who spends most of her time knitting and solving murders, most of which occur whenever she shows up. Understandably she has a problem finding a place to live. When her niece invites her to stay at a retirement home for old knitters, it seems ideal - until one of its members dies from drinking poisoned punch. Who did it? Was it Matilda, the president of the Crazy Quilt Club, or Lydia, who likes to die on Tuesdays? Could it be Clara, who's a compulsive liar, or the wisecracking Sarafina who doesn't trust anybody and carries a rifle just to be sure...

  If The Good Lord's Willing...

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 5 w


This zany comedy, in the spirit of Kaufman and Hart, centers on Doc, an eccentric old man whose house caters to all sorts of characters. Now a retired judge, he spends his days “enjoying life.” When he’s not flying around the countryside in his balloon or fishing in a nearby dry riverbed, he works on his books of nonsense. This prompts his daughter, Charlotte, to decide he’s lost his marbles. So, conspiring with a sly lawyer, she plans to not only become his guardian but also sell his house and property. Throw in a psychologist on her first case, love sick teenagers, an irate school bus dri...

  Superfreaks

Comedy by Scott Haan

67 pages

3 m, 3 w


Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than the other inmates, doesn’t embarr...

  Dead Giveaway

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

69 pages

1 m, 6 w


"If there's any skeletons in the closet, I'll find them!" states Angie, who then opens a closet and has a skeleton literally fly in her face. This is one of the many surprises that faces the undercover police woman who just took on a job as a "domestic engineer," hired by Dr. Hugh Bernard to "find out what's going on." Five elderly spinsters live in the same house and all, apparently, hate each other. And what a group. There's Evelyn, who keeps acting out death scenes for Fiona, who's writing some sort of novel. Then there's Catherine, who keeps alluding to her "garden." And Beryl, who ca...

  Desdemona In The Afterlife

Drama by Nelly E Cuellar-Garcia

26 pages

Cast: 6 female speaking roles, unlimited female ensemble


Set in the realm of Purgatory, the all-female cast of Desdemona, Emilia, Juliet, Lady Macbeth, and Ophelia explore the roles women choose in their pursuit of love and self-identity. Taking its inspiration from Dante’s Inferno, this visceral play allows powerful actors to reach heightened levels of awareness as they grapple with the ideas of an individual’s purpose in their mortal life and the ramifications it carries over into the immortal world. About 40-50 minutes.

  Money In Uncle George's...

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 5 w


When Uncle George invites his whole family up for a weekend of fun at his rustic cabin, he actually wants them together so he can read his will. But between the bequeathing and his rambling stories, George drops the bomb that somewhere on the property is a suitcase holding four hundred and eighty thousand dollars! What follows is a hilarious farce of pettiness, slander, and greed. The relatives end up wrestling each other, falling down the stairs, and getting stuck in the furniture. "Yep, we're gonna have lots of fun!" says George as he's seen carrying a shovel out the front door. But G...