Community Theatre Full Length

38 pages

4 or 5 m, 4 w

Psychologist Dr. Henry Valentine is unexplainably late for an open house demonstration of his innovative group therapy ideas. Anna-Lee Silverstein, a temp stepping in due to Dr. Valentine’s secretary’s maternity leave, has never met the doctor. Learning this, a would-be patient, Elliot Noodleman, decides to impersonate the psychologist. As other potential patients arrive, Elliot creates his own “innovative” ideas for emotional therapy. Add in Lydia Bedford, a woman suffering from sinistrophobia (the fear of objects to her left); a community theatre director, ...

64 pages

5 m, 5 w

Gerald and Cristine Dandridge always give a Halloween party for their friends. This year, however, they're having the party at their country house. It's a nice little fixer-upper with all the conveniences and one haunted scarecrow. At least, that's the story that came with the house. The night of the party things barely get under way when someone notices the scarecrow has vanished. And when it finally DOES turn up, it's carrying an axe. Yes, sir, this time it's personal! Int. set.

79 pages

3 m, 3 w

Randolph Gaston has been murdered, and everybody is after the insurance money (including the deceased). The characters we meet are the grieving widow, the girl next door, the family maid, the minister, the French inspector, and the confused boyfriend -- BUT everyone isn't necessarily who they seem to be. A series of double (and double-double) crosses, mistaken identities, fake accents, hidden bodies, and phony mustaches all add up to a completely intriguing comedy.

79 pages

6 m, 10 w, much doubling possible

“So you want to commit a murder.” This is the first line in a book purchased by Myron Bernhart. And here’s a guy who knows his books since he’s collected some rare ones and proud of it. That is until his nagging wife, Marge, decides to sell them. He tries to reason with her but is argued down, not only by her but the Civic Arts League, her cronies who, of course, meet constantly at their house. When all else fails, Myron realizes it’s time to take drastic action and plans it all out. Of course, his imagination tends to wander a bit--from German psychiatrists ...

67 pages

10 m (doubling possible), 6 w

Elaine has had enough. Ralph, her exasperating, risk-taking husband, has got to go. With the help of Pookie, her younger sister; Anthony “Prettyboy” Ferrari, her father; and Rudy Gambruzzo, her father’s personal assistant, Elaine sets out to stage an accident that will rid her of marital stress. In the space of one morning, Elaine accidentally gets the pool guy and the mailman killed before finally clobbering Ralph. Then she learns that Ralph must be alive that afternoon to sign a vital contract or she will be not only happily widowed, but unhappily bankrupt....

71 pages

4 m, 8 w, 4 flexible

At the end of the 1940s an old theatre building is about to be torn down. As the theatre’s acting troupe is packing up the props, costumes and set pieces, an old magician’s trunk is wheeled onstage. Suddenly, members of the company are turning up dead. Margaret, the director’s assistant, is the only witness to these crimes, and no one will believe her! Can she solve the mystery, or at least convince her fellow cast and crew about the sinister happenings, before the entire company is doomed? And when ghosts from the past mysteriously return, will former victim...

60 pages

5 m, 5 w

This is one club where members’ lives are not an open book! Tonight’s meeting of the Queen Anne Murder Mystery Book Club takes a dark twist when a threatening telephone call sets the group on edge. Suddenly all the lights go out and gentle Nellie is murdered. But who is the killer…and why? Do those eerie masks mounted on the wall or that unusual hanging mobile mean anything special? And then a rock with a message attached is thrown against the house jolting everyone even further. Inspector McAdoo follows the clues but soon another murder takes place. Accusati...

56 pages

3 m, 2 w (playing three roles)

Why would Hollywood soap opera star Ava Eveready check into a decrepit inn like Henry Cabot's lodge on a stormy night when the phone lines are down and the only road to town will soon wash out? Because her calculating husband Robert planned it that way so he could poison her. Also along for the ride are Ava's secretary with whom Robert is involved, and Ava's identical twin sister, Eva. But everything about Robert's well-rehearsed plan goes wrong. And bumbling Sheriff J. T. Malden, Cabot's good buddy, is right there to confuse the plot even more when he falls ...

65 pages

8 m, 7 w, 5 flexible parts

Mrs. Moss and her ever-faithful butler, Rhett, have been struggling to keep Moss Manor open but have finally decided to sell and move on. An unusual assortment of prospective buyers arrive, including ladies from the local preservation society; a toilet paper magnet; and a colorful hillbilly trio who claim they're distant relatives of Mother Moss. As the brokering becomes more competitive, word reaches the inn of an escaped murderer possibly heading this way--none other than Dr. Charles Hoarse, a former guest Mother Moss helped send to jail years ago--though n...

69 pages

4 m, 7 w

It's business as usual for Wilson and Associates, a suspiciously funny firm consisting of three flat-broke lady con-artists. They'll do practically anything to meet the rent, from reading horoscopes over the phone to renting themselves out as graveside mourners. One client, a dithering old lady, absent-mindedly drops the tidbit that she has just held up the local bank and the action springboards from there. The girls find themselves in a web of arson, counterfeiting and robbery and then, their worst fears are confirmed, the Better Business Bureau shows up! On...

72 pages

3 m, 5 w

When Uncle George invites his whole family up for a weekend of fun at his rustic cabin, he actually wants them together so he can read his will. But between the bequeathing and his rambling stories, George drops the bomb that somewhere on the property is a suitcase holding four hundred and eighty thousand dollars! What follows is a hilarious farce of pettiness, slander, and greed. The relatives end up wrestling each other, falling down the stairs, and getting stuck in the furniture. "Yep, we're gonna have lots of fun!" says George as he's seen carrying a shov...

62 pages

4 m, 6 w, 4 flex

“How’d you like to be on television?” This question, posed by future daughter-in-law Anne, takes Loff DuVall by surprise. After all, he and May June had been running the Hampton Court trailer park for more years than either would care to admit. The last thing he’d want now is to be in some reality TV show. In fact, he was hoping he and May June could get away for a while, take a long vacation from the place. He wouldn’t have to listen to Goose Halford’s long stories, such as how his grandpa has a metal plate in his head. “The kids used to catch him asleep and...

55 pages

1 m, 3 w

Two sisters, Claire and Dora, are opposites when it comes to just about everything, and this night is no exception. Claire has spent her day at a funeral, while Dora has been at a wedding. But while Dora complains of not being able to meet anyone at the wedding, Claire admits to running into an old fling, Peter, at the funeral. The two sisters are in the middle of a fight when Peter calls and says he must see Claire right away. Claire hurries to get ready for his arrival when their eccentric mother unexpectedly arrives ready to cook a roast. The two sisters b...

63 pages

7 m, 3 w

Molière’s comic masterpiece centers on the character of the French courtier Alceste and the beautiful young widow Célimène he hopes to marry. But the two have radically different personalities: Alceste is a snob who insists on telling everyone the truth as he sees it, and Célimène’s instinct is to tell people - and particularly attractive men - only what they are dying to hear. So Célimène flirts and gossips with the courtiers who come to her house while Alceste fumes in jealousy. A virtual menagerie of other characters seek to intervene, either to bring the ...

57 pages

3 m, 6 w

You think it's easy to write a murder? Just ask the Marquis Crossing Ladies Society for the Arts. They decide to do just that, especially when they find out they have to pay royalties to do someone else's play. "Anybody can write a murder," Emma tells the others, and Opaline immediately begins to try to strangle the other members "just to figure out how to do it." The ladies soon find themselves writing an "operatic murder mystery dinner theater with possible audience participation," providing no one sells fruit to the audience. Then two actual convicts on th...

72 pages

5 m, 6 w, extras as campaigners

Politics can be murder! It's election night and all the friends and supporters of mayoral candidate Matthew Kensington are throwing him a surprise birthday/campaign party. But there's one surprise no one suspects. An aide is found stabbed in the back with the birthday cake knife! Clues and suspects abound in this frenetic political satire that leaves the audience wondering just who they CAN trust. Great fun for all, with campaigners canvassing the audience as to whom they'll vote for. Not only can the audience question the suspects, but they even get to vote ...

75 pages

7 m, 6 w

Have you ever wanted to stay in an old, drafty English manor with a serial murderer and a ghost running loose in the dark? Who hasn't? Houndstooth Manor simply abounds with atmosphere. "We're lousy with it," the butler intones as he casts a suspicious eye over the paying guests, wondering who is next to be murdered. Will it be the pompous, retired Major who's always going on about how he stopped some uprising "with just a few well-chosen words and a flame thrower." Or maybe the honeymooning couple who know more than they'd like you to believe. Or maybe the fo...

72 pages

3 m, 9 w

The Peaceful Glen Memorial Players are about to mount a new production, but this time, it's a fight for their lives. It's not just the usual hand-to-hand combat between board members Duncan and Hope for the last donut. This time the company is about to lose their building. According to the late Archibald Donnelly's will, they could keep the building as long as they do "quality productions." Oh, they have tried, in their own left-field way, to do the classics. "Isn't it true," family heir Blair Beesley asks, "that you did 'Twelve Angry Men' with five actors an...

71 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 flexible, optional 1 boy

Armed with a sharply judgmental attitude and a pair of binoculars, homeowner Leona Crump is consumed with anxiety over her new neighbors. Will they be California beatniks? Or paroled drug pushers? Or more frightening yet, perhaps someone with children?! Her worst fears are realized when an odd-ball "hill-folk" family move in across the street. She quickly realizes that neither God, nor her favorite telephone psychic, has prepared her for the series of showdowns set to take place in her living room. Gafina Hambefferschmidt, an obnoxious, gum-chewing woman, tog...

58 pages

4 m, 3 w, extras

Two old grumpy Polish ladies, Lottie and Bernice, become trapped in a television studio by a blizzard and end up taking over Western New York’s favorite morning show “Buffalo Yak.” Well, they do have some help. Two constantly bickering janitors, Hal and Sal, agree to handle the editorials while Candy Bickel, a wildly ambitious station intern who sees the blizzard as her break into media stardom, takes over the news desk. Neurotic program director Virgil Mooch tries to help, despite the fact that being on-camera makes him throw up. Lloyd Block, the station man...

59 pages

8 m, 14 w

When Max Holsten sets out for work leaving behind his briefcase and an unfinished breakfast, his quaint 1950s family is besieged by a series of misunderstandings that fester into conspiracy theories and suspicions. The extended family Max and his newlywed wife, April, have been living with are no comfort. April’s sister June has an obsession with pulp-fiction intrigue and leads April to assume the worst about Max. Making matters murkier, Grandma May, the aged and easily confused matriarch of the family, misstates all the facts. Max’s seemingly simple oversigh...

78 pages

3 m, 3 w, 2 flexible roles

Valerie Simpson, a suburban housewife, has begun seeing visions of murders, kidnappings, suicides and even family members threatened with impending accidents. But the most incriminating vision may concern someone close to Val herself. She hesitates to go to the police because her husband works for a conservative firm ("Wall Street and psychic phenomena don't mix"), and because she has spent some time in a mental institution. Val's brother, a caring neighbor, and a psychic researcher, all offer support and understanding. But why is her husband so violently aga...

84 pages

5 m, 6 w, 1 boy, 1 girl, 4 extra children, doubling possible.

Champion marigold horticulturist, neighborhood snoop, and generally nasty human being Leona Crump is back! Nine years earlier, she was tricked into selling her home and nearly ousted from her neighborhood as the result of an elaborate charade instigated by her friends and foes. But now, finally, her old house is on the market, and Leona is determined to move back home. Unfortunately, the real estate agent has been instructed to never sell the house back to Leona. Reluctantly, Leona partners with her estranged sister Francine (who has her own agenda), and the ...

72 pages

5 m, 4 w, 1 girl, 1 male voice-over

KOLD Radio is located in a corner of Carl and Lena's Place for Beer in a small Minnesota town near the Canadian border. Lars Knudsen is the host of a radio show called "Crappie Talk," devoted entirely to ice fishing for crappies. Because it is a somewhat narrow subject, Lars has no listeners, so he loses his only advertiser, Ole's Bait Mart and Deer Petting Farm. Martha Bjorklund, Lars' unrequited love interest, hosts "Book Beat." She has all the listeners, and all the advertisers. Lars has issues with Martha ever since she beat him in the 50-yard dash in 6th...

72 pages

From 14 to 26 speaking roles, extras. (5 m, 5 w, 4 flex)

Inspired by the life and works of Rudyard Kipling. Celebrated author Rudyard Kipling is shocked after receiving news that his only son John is missing in action in WW I. Kipling bottles his grief, throwing his focus on a new book. Suddenly he’s interrupted by a mysterious little girl named Priyam. Charmed by her innocence, he shares his famous story “The Jungle Book” with her. As the tale of Mowgli springs to life, Kipling’s own memories of how John became a soldier start to intertwine. As truth blends into fiction, Rudyard’s memories shift to nightmares. He ...

63 pages

2 m, 4 w

Nola goes back to her parents' home after a disagreement with her boyfriend, Quincy, to sort through her problems in peace and quiet. What she finds instead is a circus of confusion. Her mother is dealing with repairs and redecoration of the house; her father refuses to help and escapes to work; and an energetic neighbor helps watch over Aunt Maggie, their somewhat vague relative who recently moved in after possibly poisoning her own cat ... and her late husband. Between the hidden money that turns up missing and Qunicy's arrival and bout with food (?) poison...

74 pages

5 m, 6 w

"I wasn't expecting anything to happen," intones detective Ace Baxter, "and that's just when anything CAN happen!" And happen it does, as Ace finds himself in a locked room standing in front of the only exit with a murder victim who was shot in the back ... and with Ace's own pistol. Shadows loom large when you're on the lam, as Ace finds out, whether he's disguising himself as a cleaning woman to inspect the scene of the crime, or ducking Sergeant Flint, who's chomping at the bit to clamp the cuffs on Baxter. The Professor helps out when he can, vowing to al...

56 pages

5 m, 7 w

Control freak Amber is getting married to easygoing Scott, and she's going nuts trying to organize the perfect wedding. Her goofball siblings Keith and Frankie aren't helping, and her pushy mother won't listen to her. Then Mom comes up with an inspired idea: a double wedding with Amber and Scott, and with crabby Grandpa and his slightly senile girlfriend Bonnie. Keith, entrusted with finding musical entertainment for the wedding, mistakenly hires two exotic dancers (and accidentally proposes to beefy bridesmaid Donna along the way). Amber's frustration mounts...

59 pages

3 m, 5 w

Lord and Lady Lexington have picked a rather beastly night to throw a haunted house party in their newly acquired home, Foxworth Manor. Oddly, the guest list appears to be made up of disparate and desperate strangers. There's the pretty secretary, the acerbic gossip columnist, the local physician, the flighty real-estate agent and a handsome, but somewhat surly young man. Foxworth Manor has a tragic history, and this evening will prove to be no exception. As the storm rages on outside, the guests suddenly discover that not everyone is quite the stranger they ...

67 pages

3 m, 3 w

Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than th...