Pat Cook

Pat Cook got his first taste of seeing his work in print while still in high school in Frankston, Texas, writing for the school paper. Then, during the summers, he wrote a column for his hometown newspaper. It wasn't until college, however, when he saw the movie version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" that he decided to try his hand at writing plays. His first one-act, "The Boys in the Halls," a play about dorm life, was produced at Lon Morris Junior College in 1968 and has since vanished in some forgotten trash can. After moving to Houston he soon found other writing assignments at AstroWorld and in educational radio, night clubs and local television. His first play was published six years later. Still, writing was only a sideline along with several other odd jobs, which included playing piano in pizza parlors, acting in local commercials, industrial films and on stage, building scenery and selling pianos and organs. However, more plays got published and along the way, his wife, Rose Ann, taught him the joys of using a computer. This, coupled with his conviction to everything else and write full time, proved to be a turning point in his life. He has more than a hundred plays published by seven publishers. Many of these plays have been translated into Dutch and German. Further, he is also published in Eldridge's religious drama catalog (www.95church.com). He firmly believes that old saying, "The harder I work, the luckier I get," and that everyone has a story to tell, a dream to pursue. "And, believe me, if I can do it, anybody can!"

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  Altar Egos

Comedy by Pat Cook

65 pages

8 m, 9 w, doubling possible


"All we want is a simple wedding," agree Mark and Colleen as they get engaged. And their simple wedding stays simple, for about two minutes. Then the families get involved. There's the McMasters, who think the Frobishers are a bunch of snooty dudes, and the Frobishers, who picture the McMasters as a crowd of hillbillies. The bride's father keeps offering the soon-to-be-wed couple thousands of dollars to elope, "No questions asked!" The bride's mother decides to call in her sister, who is a sweet, lovely woman, until she becomes "The Coordinator, " a drill ser...

  Madam's Been Murdered, Tea Will Be Late

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

75 pages

7 m, 6 w


Have you ever wanted to stay in an old, drafty English manor with a serial murderer and a ghost running loose in the dark? Who hasn't? Houndstooth Manor simply abounds with atmosphere. "We're lousy with it," the butler intones as he casts a suspicious eye over the paying guests, wondering who is next to be murdered. Will it be the pompous, retired Major who's always going on about how he stopped some uprising "with just a few well-chosen words and a flame thrower." Or maybe the honeymooning couple who know more than they'd like you to believe. Or maybe the fo...

  Legend Of Robin Hood...Sort Of

Comedy by Pat Cook

62 pages

5 m, 5 w, 3 flexible parts, and extras


Would you like to hear the legend of Robin Hood? If your answer is "I Sherwood," then hitch up your gauntlets and get ready to laugh. You see, it's a little-known fact that the famous English bandit was a bit of a klutz. As a kid he practiced with a bow and violin instead of a bow and arrow, so naturally to fight the king's injustices he needed his famous band of women. Women? That's what you get when you send Little John to do the recruiting! But just as the ladies are persuaded that after they steal from the rich they have to give the goodies to the poor, R...

  New Kid on the Block

Comedy by Pat Cook

71 pages

3 m, 4 w


Carl, Lloyd and Parker, three older gentlemen who share a large home, need to rent out their fourth bedroom to help with the rent. Their problem seems answered when Will shows up...except Will turns out to be a lady. While Lloyd and Parker like her and want to vote her in, Carl barks back, "We're not voting on prom queen!" Carl's reaction is all part of a plan with Will, his sister, to let her live with them for a while. Before the brother and sister can reveal their plotting, however, the "fun" begins. It's all over the area that Carl and Will are sweetheart...

  Voices from the Titanic

Drama by Pat Cook

34 pages

Flexible cast from 18 (with doubling)


The stage comes alive with passengers and crew of the Titanic, speaking to us directly about the disaster. We see the magnificent vessel through the eyes of both the first class passengers and the third class. When Frederick Fleet spots the iceberg, all the officers are called upon to carry out the most dreaded command Capt. Smith ever had to issue: "Get the lifeboats ready!" The ending is an emotional powerhouse as the cast recites name after name of those who survived à and those who did not. Representational sets. (Excerpted from the full-length play, "Tit...

  A Little Christmas Spirit

Christmas Holiday Play by Pat Cook

55 pages

4 m, 5 w, 2 girls


J. D. Morse has been looking high and low for a special Christmas gift for his grandson. Finally, as a last resort, he wanders into Nick's Emporium, an old-fashioned store chock full of all sorts of gifts and knickknacks. He has a hard time explaining to Nick what he's looking for, but finds himself falling under the old storekeeper's spell. Just when Morse is about to buy something, he runs to the street to chase kids away from his car. When he returns, he finds the store suddenly dark and quiet. A policeman then shows up to run him off because, "This place ...

  The Hitchin' Post

Comedy by Pat Cook

59 pages

6 m, 5 w


Everybody knows that whatever you need, you can find it at Hurley Squonk's general store, the Hitchin' Post. Run by Hurley himself, who is always behind the counter, this sort of "everything store" serves as a meeting place for the locals. There's Pinch Burdett, who spends all his time hawking his wife's jams and making up stories; Mrs. Bastrop, a feisty lady who got thrown out of the town's softball tournament; and Gloria, or "Glow Worm," a romantic teen who camps out at Hurley's magazine stand. But the normal, laid-back pace changes when a young couple from...

  Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus

Christmas Holiday Play by Pat Cook

64 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 girls


"Dear Editor, is there a Santa Claus?"- a question innocently asked by 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon. Christmas was coming and all was right with the world ... until her friends mischievously fill her in on the "facts" about Old Saint Nick. Who could tell her the truth? Not her father, a doctor who is always fighting against old world cures. Not her teacher, who is already fed up with Christmas even though it hadn't arrived. So Virginia writes a letter to the editor of The New York Sun, for her father always said, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Virginia'...

  Money to Burn

Comedy by Pat Cook

69 pages

4 m, 7 w


It's business as usual for Wilson and Associates, a suspiciously funny firm consisting of three flat-broke lady con-artists. They'll do practically anything to meet the rent, from reading horoscopes over the phone to renting themselves out as graveside mourners. One client, a dithering old lady, absent-mindedly drops the tidbit that she has just held up the local bank and the action springboards from there. The girls find themselves in a web of arson, counterfeiting and robbery and then, their worst fears are confirmed, the Better Business Bureau shows up! On...

  Saturday Night at the Drive-In Movie

Comedy by Pat Cook

71 pages

10-15 m, 10-18 w, doubling possible


It's the 1950s and you're all set for a big night at the drive-in movie! Roll down your car window, hook up the speaker, and hear the movie manager, Mr. Gleason, announce the rules to enjoy yourself, "in the comfort of your own car!" Upcoming attractions are acted out onstage, including "Time Travelers in Space Suits," as is the latest installment of a Western serial "The Adventures of Rocky Rhode." But not all the drama is coming from the big screen. Young lovers Tony and Gloria are arguing about the main feature, the scary "The Vampire's Hickey," and countr...

  Scrooge Has Left the Building

Christmas Comedy Holiday by Pat Cook

21 pages

4 m, 2 w


It's Christmas time. An old man sits in his sitting room eating his porridge. Just then Marley bursts in and begins to rattle his chains, scaring the man half to death. You all know the story or do you? "I have come to save you from a horrible fate, Ebenezer Scrooge!" Marley shrieks. "I'm not Scrooge!" the man points out. "He moved!" Sure enough, Marley is at the wrong house. Not only the wrong house but on the wrong night. "This is Christmas eve EVE," the old man tells him. "I'm sorry, I've been dead!" Marley alibis. Then the other three ghosts show up. "Wil...

  All's Fair

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

11 m, 13 w (with doubling 4 m, 5 w)


It is time again for the county fair in Flat Rock, Texas! In between the jelly judging, local politicin' and some extraordinary spoon playing, folks can see "Nature's Boo-Boos," an exhibit where teenager Tommy Rogers feels right at home, especially when he tries to do "Shakespeare in the Park"! Meanwhile, the Ladies' Auxiliary is hoping to collect funds for a hedge around the courthouse to keep all the dogs from frequenting it, while school supporters have set up a fortune-telling booth for money to get the school bus repainted yellow instead of camouflage `c...