Pat Cook
Pat Cook got his first taste of seeing his work in print while still in high school in Frankston, Texas, writing for the school paper. Then, during the summers, he wrote a column for his hometown newspaper. It wasn't until college, however, when he saw the movie version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" that he decided to try his hand at writing plays. His first one-act, "The Boys in the Halls," a play about dorm life, was produced at Lon Morris Junior College in 1968 and has since vanished in some forgotten trash can. After moving to Houston he soon found other writing assignments at AstroWorld and in educational radio, night clubs and local television. His first play was published six years later. Still, writing was only a sideline along with several other odd jobs, which included playing piano in pizza parlors, acting in local commercials, industrial films and on stage, building scenery and selling pianos and organs. However, more plays got published and along the way, his wife, Rose Ann, taught him the joys of using a computer. This, coupled with his conviction to everything else and write full time, proved to be a turning point in his life. He has more than a hundred plays published by seven publishers. Many of these plays have been translated into Dutch and German. Further, he is also published in Eldridge's religious drama catalog (www.95church.com). He firmly believes that old saying, "The harder I work, the luckier I get," and that everyone has a story to tell, a dream to pursue. "And, believe me, if I can do it, anybody can!"
Three Musketeers...All Swash and No Buckle
Farce by Pat Cook
60 pages
7 m, 8 w, extras
Here is our version of the Dumas classic. Young D'Artagnan seeks to become a musketeer, or at least see if that brochure about Paris is true. In the city for less than ten minutes, he finds himself facing all three of the musketeers when they are charged by Rochefort and the Cardinal's Guards. This spoof of seventeenth century France pulls out all the stops and is full of outrageous characters from a lying Cardinal who's into magic to Milady DeWinter who cannot get rid of her mother. Throw in a narrator, several star-crossed lovers, a race on stick horses and...
Money to Burn
Comedy by Pat Cook
69 pages
4 m, 7 w
It's business as usual for Wilson and Associates, a suspiciously funny firm consisting of three flat-broke lady con-artists. They'll do practically anything to meet the rent, from reading horoscopes over the phone to renting themselves out as graveside mourners. One client, a dithering old lady, absent-mindedly drops the tidbit that she has just held up the local bank and the action springboards from there. The girls find themselves in a web of arson, counterfeiting and robbery and then, their worst fears are confirmed, the Better Business Bureau shows up! On...
Tombstone Terror Stories
Comedy Dark by Pat Cook
60 pages
Flexible cast (minimum 6)
Ever wonder why people whistle in a graveyard? Because it scares away the bogeyman. Here's a little gang of stories that, far from scaring the bogeyman away, invites him in and sets a place for him at the table! Listen, gentle reader, while the Caretaker introduces spooky tales from the haunted graveyard that will have you sitting on the edge of your seat and sometimes have you laughing out loud when some of the spectres don't behave exactly as they should. Watch as one couple decides what to do with an old uncle who vowed he'd come back from the dead, and wa...
Echoes From the Titanic
Drama by Pat Cook
35 pages
15 m, 7 w, extras, much doubling possible
The survivors of the Titanic disaster tell you in their own words about their escape to lifeboats in this adaptation of the 1912 Senate hearings, which began just one day after they arrived from their fateful trip. "We have nothing to conceal," proclaims White Star Lines President Bruce Ismay, but then has to explain why he was able to get in a lifeboat. Hear Fifth Officer Lowe's report why some lifeboats were not completely filled when they departed and why he fired a pistol to control the crowds. As parts of their testimony are re-enacted, we begin to see t...
The Taming of Judge Roy Bean
Comedy by Pat Cook
66 pages
7 m, 7 w
West Texas in the late 1800s was wild, lawless, and rife with robbers. And that just suited Judge Roy Bean right down to his socks. But when the Judge reads a dime novel about Buffalo Bill, he figures his story should be told as well. And fortunately for him, the "boys," Hank, Pete, and Ralph, have just found a reporter they want to hang. Freed from the gallows, Butler Boone agrees to write Bean's bio...but at what price? Civilization is about to descend on the little town of Langtry in the form of school marms, pushy mothers, conniving matchmakers and an occ...
Alfred Hitchcock Taught Me Everything I Know
Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook
70 pages
7 m, 8 w
Maura Milton applies for a bookkeeper's job at the home of one Tyrone Bartholomew. However, she soon finds out there isn't ONE Tyrone Bartholomew but many. The spry old actor flies from one character to another whenever dealing with the outside world - and that world seems to involve secret codes, hiding people, dodging gangsters with guns, and harboring a wild-eyed lady with an ax. Naturally, Maura starts to question her career choice. By the time the police turn out not to be the real police, Tyrone seems to be the only sane one around! Audiences will be ke...
Cut to the Chase
Comedy by Pat Cook
68 pages
6 m, 5 w
WHAM! The Masked Wonder leaps into the room and fights off four or five henchmen without even wrinkling his cape and then...? Then the Hollywood writers of the Majestic Film Studios have to figure out what he does next. Pop, Tiger Lil, Stu, Howard and Dena are stuck until they meet the latest addition to their writer's stable. "Like any of us are writers," says Howard, "or stable." As the new kid on the team, Freddie has a lot to prove, mostly to his overbearing mother. Does he give up and leave with Mom? No chance! Especially not with Dena around! These two ...
The Man Who Wanted to Be Santa
Comedy With Heart by Pat Cook
76 pages
5 m, 5 w, 1 girl
“Who IS that guy?” That’s what they’re asking each other at the local police station when Santa Claus shows up handing out gifts. This Santa seems to know them all so well…but they haven’t a clue who he is. It’s not like they haven’t seen people dressed for the holidays, especially since Earlene visits costumed first as an elf and then as a big bunny. Even Chief Culpepper has been known to don the Santa suit. As if this weren’t enough to keep them guessing, state investigator Russell Brooks arrives to check on some irregularities. It doesn’t take long for Bro...
Uncle Neddy's Last Stand
Comedy by Pat Cook
70 pages
5 m, 5 w
"Doing a kiddie TV show is like playing the bagpipes," Uncle Neddy says. "Who knows when you make a mistake?" And whether it is hunting down an escaped snake or sawing a lady in half, he and his sidekick, Skeezix the Clown, have been at it for decades. However, when the new station manager plans to get rid of his show, it is time for action! Filled with oddball characters, from a neurotic moose-toting puppeteer to a muscle-bound yes-man, this frantic slapstick comedy races along with action on both ends of the stage. Everyone is tuning in to the final show to...
Bandits of Love
Comedy by Pat Cook
60 pages
7 m, 6 w, extras
Coming to your theatre! All the fast-paced action, all the cockeyed characters, all the romance you'd ever want and still have room for popcorn. Return with us now to those thrilling days of silent movies when anything went and usually took most of the scenery with it. Can B.B. Tackett, one step ahead of the police, make his next movie? Will Freddie Thurlow find true love with the daughter of a fruit vendor and will she be the apple of his eye? And just who brought in a stuffed hamster, anyway? Wisecracking their way through one scrape after another, our litt...
Just a Kid at Heart
Comedy by Pat Cook
62 pages
8 m, 8 w
Freshman Bobby Hill drinks a potion that turns him from a know-it-all teen into a 25-year old man everyone thinks is the school's new assistant baseball coach. Bobby suddenly finds himself running the team, using an expense account and avoiding the coach's man-hungry daughter. "All I wanted was to play baseball," he whines to Wally, another teen who spends more time on the psychiatrist's couch than behind the plate. During the big tournament, Bobby wants to help the losing Zephyrs win, but it's every man (and boy!) for himself as he ducks newspaper reporters,...
Outta Control
Comedy by Pat Cook
73 pages
7 m, 9 w
Terry Campbell just wants to have a little fun when her parents go out of town. So, she invites her three best girl friends over for a slumber party. But as soon as Mom and Dad leave the door, the party turns into a bash which turns into a police raid, which turns into a mind-boggling spy intrigue when illegal aliens and the FBI show up. "I just wanted a few friends and a little pizza," Terry whines as she and her friends are held at gunpoint by a desperado. Goofy boyfriends and smug neighbors drop by to help out...until the lights blow out and people start d...