Pat Cook

60 pages

Flexible cast (minimum 6)

Ever wonder why people whistle in a graveyard? Because it scares away the bogeyman. Here's a little gang of stories that, far from scaring the bogeyman away, invites him in and sets a place for him at the table! Listen, gentle reader, while the Caretaker introduces spooky tales from the haunted graveyard that will have you sitting on the edge of your seat and sometimes have you laughing out loud when some of the spectres don't behave exactly as they should. Watch as one couple decides what to do with an old uncle who vowed he'd come back from the dead, and wa...

26 pages

4 m, 4 w

Professor Featherflowers comes on stage and begins her lecture, "How to Write a Play." You're snoring already, right? That's exactly what the Stage Manager is worried about when he peeks through the curtain and tells the Professor to "jazz it up," that she needs to open with a joke. The professor then tells him she did. "You see," she says, "You don't really exist - I made you up. YOU are my opening joke!" Needless to say, he doesn't believe her and calls for his sound person, Shirley, to come out. The Professor then tells them both that they aren't real and ...

73 pages

7 m, 9 w

Terry Campbell just wants to have a little fun when her parents go out of town. So, she invites her three best girl friends over for a slumber party. But as soon as Mom and Dad leave the door, the party turns into a bash which turns into a police raid, which turns into a mind-boggling spy intrigue when illegal aliens and the FBI show up. "I just wanted a few friends and a little pizza," Terry whines as she and her friends are held at gunpoint by a desperado. Goofy boyfriends and smug neighbors drop by to help out...until the lights blow out and people start d...

66 pages

7 m, 7 w

West Texas in the late 1800s was wild, lawless, and rife with robbers. And that just suited Judge Roy Bean right down to his socks. But when the Judge reads a dime novel about Buffalo Bill, he figures his story should be told as well. And fortunately for him, the "boys," Hank, Pete, and Ralph, have just found a reporter they want to hang. Freed from the gallows, Butler Boone agrees to write Bean's bio...but at what price? Civilization is about to descend on the little town of Langtry in the form of school marms, pushy mothers, conniving matchmakers and an occ...

70 pages

7 m, 8 w

Maura Milton applies for a bookkeeper's job at the home of one Tyrone Bartholomew. However, she soon finds out there isn't ONE Tyrone Bartholomew but many. The spry old actor flies from one character to another whenever dealing with the outside world - and that world seems to involve secret codes, hiding people, dodging gangsters with guns, and harboring a wild-eyed lady with an ax. Naturally, Maura starts to question her career choice. By the time the police turn out not to be the real police, Tyrone seems to be the only sane one around! Audiences will be ke...

68 pages

6 m, 5 w

WHAM! The Masked Wonder leaps into the room and fights off four or five henchmen without even wrinkling his cape and then...? Then the Hollywood writers of the Majestic Film Studios have to figure out what he does next. Pop, Tiger Lil, Stu, Howard and Dena are stuck until they meet the latest addition to their writer's stable. "Like any of us are writers," says Howard, "or stable." As the new kid on the team, Freddie has a lot to prove, mostly to his overbearing mother. Does he give up and leave with Mom? No chance! Especially not with Dena around! These two ...

35 pages

15 m, 7 w, extras, much doubling possible

The survivors of the Titanic disaster tell you in their own words about their escape to lifeboats in this adaptation of the 1912 Senate hearings, which began just one day after they arrived from their fateful trip. "We have nothing to conceal," proclaims White Star Lines President Bruce Ismay, but then has to explain why he was able to get in a lifeboat. Hear Fifth Officer Lowe's report why some lifeboats were not completely filled when they departed and why he fired a pistol to control the crowds. As parts of their testimony are re-enacted, we begin to see t...

69 pages

with doubling, 7 m, 7 w

Leo Mintz, a one-time big shot Broadway agent, now represents bird acts, roller-skating kids who recite poetry and flea circuses. However, Leo's problems are just starting when a known gangster Louie DeMarco "persuades" Leo to represent his protege with no discernible talent, the lovely Christine. As if this weren't bad enough, Leo promptly falls in love with her. "They should just type up a label which reads 'East River' and slap it on our foreheads!" scowls Liz, the secretary and bouncer for Leo's agency. Then, to throw everyone off the track, Leo stages a ...

76 pages

5 m, 5 w, 1 girl

“Who IS that guy?” That’s what they’re asking each other at the local police station when Santa Claus shows up handing out gifts. This Santa seems to know them all so well…but they haven’t a clue who he is. It’s not like they haven’t seen people dressed for the holidays, especially since Earlene visits costumed first as an elf and then as a big bunny. Even Chief Culpepper has been known to don the Santa suit. As if this weren’t enough to keep them guessing, state investigator Russell Brooks arrives to check on some irregularities. It doesn’t take long for Bro...

71 pages

10-15 m, 10-18 w, doubling possible

It's the 1950s and you're all set for a big night at the drive-in movie! Roll down your car window, hook up the speaker, and hear the movie manager, Mr. Gleason, announce the rules to enjoy yourself, "in the comfort of your own car!" Upcoming attractions are acted out onstage, including "Time Travelers in Space Suits," as is the latest installment of a Western serial "The Adventures of Rocky Rhode." But not all the drama is coming from the big screen. Young lovers Tony and Gloria are arguing about the main feature, the scary "The Vampire's Hickey," and countr...

60 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras

Coming to your theatre! All the fast-paced action, all the cockeyed characters, all the romance you'd ever want and still have room for popcorn. Return with us now to those thrilling days of silent movies when anything went and usually took most of the scenery with it. Can B.B. Tackett, one step ahead of the police, make his next movie? Will Freddie Thurlow find true love with the daughter of a fruit vendor and will she be the apple of his eye? And just who brought in a stuffed hamster, anyway? Wisecracking their way through one scrape after another, our litt...

62 pages

8 m, 8 w

Freshman Bobby Hill drinks a potion that turns him from a know-it-all teen into a 25-year old man everyone thinks is the school's new assistant baseball coach. Bobby suddenly finds himself running the team, using an expense account and avoiding the coach's man-hungry daughter. "All I wanted was to play baseball," he whines to Wally, another teen who spends more time on the psychiatrist's couch than behind the plate. During the big tournament, Bobby wants to help the losing Zephyrs win, but it's every man (and boy!) for himself as he ducks newspaper reporters,...