Pat Cook

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)

Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax wo...

69 pages

1 m, 6 w

"If there's any skeletons in the closet, I'll find them!" states Angie, who then opens a closet and has a skeleton literally fly in her face. This is one of the many surprises that faces the undercover police woman who just took on a job as a "domestic engineer," hired by Dr. Hugh Bernard to "find out what's going on." Five elderly spinsters live in the same house and all, apparently, hate each other. And what a group. There's Evelyn, who keeps acting out death scenes for Fiona, who's writing some sort of novel. Then there's Catherine, who keeps alluding to h...

74 pages

6 m, 8 w

Purdy, who runs her Showtime Café famous for such dishes as “Fistful of Dollar Pancakes” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Ham,” is getting ready for a food critic, hoping for a great write-up. But that’s the least of her worries when she learns her old boyfriend is back in town. She and Austin made a pledge that if they weren’t hooked up with anyone else in twenty-five years they’d get together. Amelia and Celia, two gossips, have it all over town in no time! Jeanie, the teen who works for Purdy, thinks it’s so romantic and soon she and Cody Barnes get engaged! ...

72 pages

3 m, 9 w

The Peaceful Glen Memorial Players are about to mount a new production, but this time, it's a fight for their lives. It's not just the usual hand-to-hand combat between board members Duncan and Hope for the last donut. This time the company is about to lose their building. According to the late Archibald Donnelly's will, they could keep the building as long as they do "quality productions." Oh, they have tried, in their own left-field way, to do the classics. "Isn't it true," family heir Blair Beesley asks, "that you did 'Twelve Angry Men' with five actors an...

66 pages

7 m, 7 w

West Texas in the late 1800s was wild, lawless, and rife with robbers. And that just suited Judge Roy Bean right down to his socks. But when the Judge reads a dime novel about Buffalo Bill, he figures his story should be told as well. And fortunately for him, the "boys," Hank, Pete, and Ralph, have just found a reporter they want to hang. Freed from the gallows, Butler Boone agrees to write Bean's bio...but at what price? Civilization is about to descend on the little town of Langtry in the form of school marms, pushy mothers, conniving matchmakers and an occ...

35 pages

15 m, 7 w, extras, much doubling possible

The survivors of the Titanic disaster tell you in their own words about their escape to lifeboats in this adaptation of the 1912 Senate hearings, which began just one day after they arrived from their fateful trip. "We have nothing to conceal," proclaims White Star Lines President Bruce Ismay, but then has to explain why he was able to get in a lifeboat. Hear Fifth Officer Lowe's report why some lifeboats were not completely filled when they departed and why he fired a pistol to control the crowds. As parts of their testimony are re-enacted, we begin to see t...

59 pages

5 m, 4 w

Adapted by Pat Cook From the short story by Oscar Wilde. Hiram and Lucy Otis can't wait to move into their pastoral English manor house...just as soon as the ghost moves out. That's right, Canterville Hall comes complete with a howling, green ghoul, but only if Sir Simon (the ghost) can remember to bring the green mist with him. This classic Oscar Wilde tale spins the Otis family through a maze of dithering maids, blustering bosses and an English realtor who's always looking for a free lunch. The mystery unfolds amid flashes of thunder and disappearing guests...

77 pages

5 m, 5 w

Aunt Ollie has been having a hard time keeping her hotel open and her brother, Earl, isn't much help. Ollie has one hope in keeping her "Home Away from Home" open with investor Judith Pomeroy. Unfortunately, before Judith can get a good look at the place, she accidentally gets a generous dose of Earl's recipe for moonshine. Add one UFO-logist, a psychology major, a fat sheriff and a conniving competitor and this hotel starts looking more and more like a real "home"! Int. set.

26 pages

4 m, 4 w

Professor Featherflowers comes on stage and begins her lecture, "How to Write a Play." You're snoring already, right? That's exactly what the Stage Manager is worried about when he peeks through the curtain and tells the Professor to "jazz it up," that she needs to open with a joke. The professor then tells him she did. "You see," she says, "You don't really exist - I made you up. YOU are my opening joke!" Needless to say, he doesn't believe her and calls for his sound person, Shirley, to come out. The Professor then tells them both that they aren't real and ...

61 pages

3 m, 7 w

All the ladies at the Thelma Underwood Health Resort are either trying to date Duncan, the new counselor, or plotting how to get rid of Mr. Loggins, a sinister investor with visions of turning the place into a parking lot. Well, most of the ladies are plotting. Francis is busy mugging the cab driver for his Baby Ruth. And just when Duncan makes a play for the secretary, a newspaper reporter shows up to blow the lid off the place. Ulterior motives, hidden secrets and outrageous situations boil up in this all-too-human comedy about what some people will do to l...

64 pages

5 m, 5 w

Gerald and Cristine Dandridge always give a Halloween party for their friends. This year, however, they're having the party at their country house. It's a nice little fixer-upper with all the conveniences and one haunted scarecrow. At least, that's the story that came with the house. The night of the party things barely get under way when someone notices the scarecrow has vanished. And when it finally DOES turn up, it's carrying an axe. Yes, sir, this time it's personal! Int. set.

22 pages

4 m, 6 w

"Four score and seven years ago, Christopher Columbus drove his Plymouth on a rock." This is just one of the tidbits of American history according to Dwayne. When asked in class to explain how America celebrated its first Thanksgiving, he launches into the most lopsided account imaginable. Father and Mother of this Pilgrim family get talked into hosting the event. "You have the table," the Preacher explains. And we finally find out how such Thanksgiving staples came about. "I can't believe we're having turkey," Mother groans. "Hey, I ran over it with the mule...