Pat Cook

Pat Cook got his first taste of seeing his work in print while still in high school in Frankston, Texas, writing for the school paper. Then, during the summers, he wrote a column for his hometown newspaper. It wasn't until college, however, when he saw the movie version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" that he decided to try his hand at writing plays. His first one-act, "The Boys in the Halls," a play about dorm life, was produced at Lon Morris Junior College in 1968 and has since vanished in some forgotten trash can. After moving to Houston he soon found other writing assignments at AstroWorld and in educational radio, night clubs and local television. His first play was published six years later. Still, writing was only a sideline along with several other odd jobs, which included playing piano in pizza parlors, acting in local commercials, industrial films and on stage, building scenery and selling pianos and organs. However, more plays got published and along the way, his wife, Rose Ann, taught him the joys of using a computer. This, coupled with his conviction to everything else and write full time, proved to be a turning point in his life. He has more than a hundred plays published by seven publishers. Many of these plays have been translated into Dutch and German. Further, he is also published in Eldridge's religious drama catalog (www.95church.com). He firmly believes that old saying, "The harder I work, the luckier I get," and that everyone has a story to tell, a dream to pursue. "And, believe me, if I can do it, anybody can!"

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  Mandate for Murder

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

72 pages

5 m, 6 w, extras as campaigners


Politics can be murder! It's election night and all the friends and supporters of mayoral candidate Matthew Kensington are throwing him a surprise birthday/campaign party. But there's one surprise no one suspects. An aide is found stabbed in the back with the birthday cake knife! Clues and suspects abound in this frenetic political satire that leaves the audience wondering just who they CAN trust. Great fun for all, with campaigners canvassing the audience as to whom they'll vote for. Not only can the audience question the suspects, but they even get to vote ...

  Luau for King Lear

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 9 w


The Peaceful Glen Memorial Players are about to mount a new production, but this time, it's a fight for their lives. It's not just the usual hand-to-hand combat between board members Duncan and Hope for the last donut. This time the company is about to lose their building. According to the late Archibald Donnelly's will, they could keep the building as long as they do "quality productions." Oh, they have tried, in their own left-field way, to do the classics. "Isn't it true," family heir Blair Beesley asks, "that you did 'Twelve Angry Men' with five actors an...

  The Big Day

Comedy by Pat Cook

64 pages

Widely flexible cast, from 12 to 40+


You ever have a "Big Day"? We all have. Not quite like this group, however. Take the case of Butch and Murph, who decide to hold up a bank only to find that Murph is the "one millionth customer!" amid a flurry of confetti. Or little Phoebe, whose class assignment was to write a 500-word essay on her "Big Day" in which she tells of her birthday party where the dog set the couch on fire. We see the invention of the wheel and what it was REALLY for. And then there's Lucille, who gets her first driving lesson from her father ... the church pie sale being only one...

  Tombstone Terror Stories

Comedy Dark by Pat Cook

60 pages

Flexible cast (minimum 6)


Ever wonder why people whistle in a graveyard? Because it scares away the bogeyman. Here's a little gang of stories that, far from scaring the bogeyman away, invites him in and sets a place for him at the table! Listen, gentle reader, while the Caretaker introduces spooky tales from the haunted graveyard that will have you sitting on the edge of your seat and sometimes have you laughing out loud when some of the spectres don't behave exactly as they should. Watch as one couple decides what to do with an old uncle who vowed he'd come back from the dead, and wa...

  Aunt Ollie's Home Away From Home

Comedy by Pat Cook

77 pages

5 m, 5 w


Aunt Ollie has been having a hard time keeping her hotel open and her brother, Earl, isn't much help. Ollie has one hope in keeping her "Home Away from Home" open with investor Judith Pomeroy. Unfortunately, before Judith can get a good look at the place, she accidentally gets a generous dose of Earl's recipe for moonshine. Add one UFO-logist, a psychology major, a fat sheriff and a conniving competitor and this hotel starts looking more and more like a real "home"! Int. set.

  Murder of Scarecrows

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

64 pages

5 m, 5 w


Gerald and Cristine Dandridge always give a Halloween party for their friends. This year, however, they're having the party at their country house. It's a nice little fixer-upper with all the conveniences and one haunted scarecrow. At least, that's the story that came with the house. The night of the party things barely get under way when someone notices the scarecrow has vanished. And when it finally DOES turn up, it's carrying an axe. Yes, sir, this time it's personal! Int. set.

  Live, Onstage!

Farce by Pat Cook

26 pages

4 m, 4 w


Professor Featherflowers comes on stage and begins her lecture, "How to Write a Play." You're snoring already, right? That's exactly what the Stage Manager is worried about when he peeks through the curtain and tells the Professor to "jazz it up," that she needs to open with a joke. The professor then tells him she did. "You see," she says, "You don't really exist - I made you up. YOU are my opening joke!" Needless to say, he doesn't believe her and calls for his sound person, Shirley, to come out. The Professor then tells them both that they aren't real and ...

  Dis-Order in the Court!

Farce by Pat Cook

61 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras as desired


First came Judge Wapner, then Judge Judy. Now comes Judge Clapham. But his court is a little more, shall we say, colorful than most. People come to court to bring announcements of car washes, to hold quilting bees and to drop off their mortgage payments. And what starts out as just another lazy day suddenly changes when shyster lawyer E. Z. Miles has the Judge marry two people madly in love...only to find out that the groom is on trial for embezzlement and the only witness against him is his new bride. "A wife cannot testify against her husband, right, Judge?...

  Frankenstein, Together Again

Comedy by Pat Cook

65 pages

5 m, 5 w


Helga Frankenstein figures the best way to get rid of all those nasty stories about the family castle and her relatives is to turn the place into a tourist resort. And her very first guests are vacationing Americans Chandler and Lindsey Page. Lindsey just loves the place but Chandler keeps seeing all sorts of odd things, such as some of Junior Frankenstein's "experiments." And the old ranch has just everything: werewolves, mad scientists, sooth-saying gypsies and the usual angry mob of villagers who storm the castle from time to time, just to break up the mon...

  The Fat of the Land

Comedy by Pat Cook

61 pages

3 m, 7 w


All the ladies at the Thelma Underwood Health Resort are either trying to date Duncan, the new counselor, or plotting how to get rid of Mr. Loggins, a sinister investor with visions of turning the place into a parking lot. Well, most of the ladies are plotting. Francis is busy mugging the cab driver for his Baby Ruth. And just when Duncan makes a play for the secretary, a newspaper reporter shows up to blow the lid off the place. Ulterior motives, hidden secrets and outrageous situations boil up in this all-too-human comedy about what some people will do to l...

  The First Thanksgiving According to Dwayne

Comedy Holiday by Pat Cook

22 pages

4 m, 6 w


"Four score and seven years ago, Christopher Columbus drove his Plymouth on a rock." This is just one of the tidbits of American history according to Dwayne. When asked in class to explain how America celebrated its first Thanksgiving, he launches into the most lopsided account imaginable. Father and Mother of this Pilgrim family get talked into hosting the event. "You have the table," the Preacher explains. And we finally find out how such Thanksgiving staples came about. "I can't believe we're having turkey," Mother groans. "Hey, I ran over it with the mule...

  Outta Control

Comedy by Pat Cook

73 pages

7 m, 9 w


Terry Campbell just wants to have a little fun when her parents go out of town. So, she invites her three best girl friends over for a slumber party. But as soon as Mom and Dad leave the door, the party turns into a bash which turns into a police raid, which turns into a mind-boggling spy intrigue when illegal aliens and the FBI show up. "I just wanted a few friends and a little pizza," Terry whines as she and her friends are held at gunpoint by a desperado. Goofy boyfriends and smug neighbors drop by to help out...until the lights blow out and people start d...