Pat Cook

60 pages

7 m, 8 w, extras

Here is our version of the Dumas classic. Young D'Artagnan seeks to become a musketeer, or at least see if that brochure about Paris is true. In the city for less than ten minutes, he finds himself facing all three of the musketeers when they are charged by Rochefort and the Cardinal's Guards. This spoof of seventeenth century France pulls out all the stops and is full of outrageous characters from a lying Cardinal who's into magic to Milady DeWinter who cannot get rid of her mother. Throw in a narrator, several star-crossed lovers, a race on stick horses and...

62 pages

5 m, 6 w

You ever wonder what goes on in a teachers' lounge? Here is your chance to snoop on a gang of educators who'll do anything to relieve the boredom. Whether it is planning ambushes for the principal or dressing up as Vikings, this particular group is beyond compare. That is, until they find out one of them has written a book and used the rest of the staff as examples! Accusations fly like spitwads. Hand-to-hand combat breaks out just when Superintendent Brooks shows up ready to fire Principal Carp and just ahead of a newspaper reporter who asks, "Don't you want...

65 pages

8 m, 9 w, doubling possible

"All we want is a simple wedding," agree Mark and Colleen as they get engaged. And their simple wedding stays simple, for about two minutes. Then the families get involved. There's the McMasters, who think the Frobishers are a bunch of snooty dudes, and the Frobishers, who picture the McMasters as a crowd of hillbillies. The bride's father keeps offering the soon-to-be-wed couple thousands of dollars to elope, "No questions asked!" The bride's mother decides to call in her sister, who is a sweet, lovely woman, until she becomes "The Coordinator, " a drill ser...

72 pages

7 m, 12 w

How could a box of cornflakes almost start a world war? Writing an ad campaign for Hampton’s Medicated Cornflakes is tough, especially when you have to get paid immediately to not get evicted! That’s what faces Rosie, Max, and Sid, who hit upon the idea of quarantining their own office to keep out their demanding landlady. But when a man stumbles in, stabbed in the back, it’s a whole new ballgame. Now, nobody can leave since it’s become the scene of a crime. More police show up along with a legal secretary, a Russian travel agent, a handsome doctor, and worst...

74 pages

6 m, 8 w

Purdy, who runs her Showtime Café famous for such dishes as “Fistful of Dollar Pancakes” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Ham,” is getting ready for a food critic, hoping for a great write-up. But that’s the least of her worries when she learns her old boyfriend is back in town. She and Austin made a pledge that if they weren’t hooked up with anyone else in twenty-five years they’d get together. Amelia and Celia, two gossips, have it all over town in no time! Jeanie, the teen who works for Purdy, thinks it’s so romantic and soon she and Cody Barnes get engaged! ...

61 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras as desired

First came Judge Wapner, then Judge Judy. Now comes Judge Clapham. But his court is a little more, shall we say, colorful than most. People come to court to bring announcements of car washes, to hold quilting bees and to drop off their mortgage payments. And what starts out as just another lazy day suddenly changes when shyster lawyer E. Z. Miles has the Judge marry two people madly in love...only to find out that the groom is on trial for embezzlement and the only witness against him is his new bride. "A wife cannot testify against her husband, right, Judge?...

69 pages

4 m, 7 w

It's business as usual for Wilson and Associates, a suspiciously funny firm consisting of three flat-broke lady con-artists. They'll do practically anything to meet the rent, from reading horoscopes over the phone to renting themselves out as graveside mourners. One client, a dithering old lady, absent-mindedly drops the tidbit that she has just held up the local bank and the action springboards from there. The girls find themselves in a web of arson, counterfeiting and robbery and then, their worst fears are confirmed, the Better Business Bureau shows up! On...

70 pages

5 m, 5 w

"Doing a kiddie TV show is like playing the bagpipes," Uncle Neddy says. "Who knows when you make a mistake?" And whether it is hunting down an escaped snake or sawing a lady in half, he and his sidekick, Skeezix the Clown, have been at it for decades. However, when the new station manager plans to get rid of his show, it is time for action! Filled with oddball characters, from a neurotic moose-toting puppeteer to a muscle-bound yes-man, this frantic slapstick comedy races along with action on both ends of the stage. Everyone is tuning in to the final show to...

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)

Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax wo...

64 pages

Widely flexible cast, from 12 to 40+

You ever have a "Big Day"? We all have. Not quite like this group, however. Take the case of Butch and Murph, who decide to hold up a bank only to find that Murph is the "one millionth customer!" amid a flurry of confetti. Or little Phoebe, whose class assignment was to write a 500-word essay on her "Big Day" in which she tells of her birthday party where the dog set the couch on fire. We see the invention of the wheel and what it was REALLY for. And then there's Lucille, who gets her first driving lesson from her father ... the church pie sale being only one...

65 pages

Large, flexible cast

In Act One, "Voices From the Titanic," the stage comes alive with the passengers and crew who address the audience directly. We see the magnificent, "almost unsinkable" ship through the eyes of both the first-class and third-class passengers. When the ship's lookout, Frederick Fleet, spots the iceberg, all the officers are called upon to carry out the most dreaded command Capt. Smith ever had to issue: "Get the lifeboats ready!" The ending is an emotional powerhouse as the cast recites name after name of those who survived ... and those who did not. In Act Tw...

62 pages

4 m, 6 w, 4 flex

“How’d you like to be on television?” This question, posed by future daughter-in-law Anne, takes Loff DuVall by surprise. After all, he and May June had been running the Hampton Court trailer park for more years than either would care to admit. The last thing he’d want now is to be in some reality TV show. In fact, he was hoping he and May June could get away for a while, take a long vacation from the place. He wouldn’t have to listen to Goose Halford’s long stories, such as how his grandpa has a metal plate in his head. “The kids used to catch him asleep and...