Pat Cook

Pat Cook got his first taste of seeing his work in print while still in high school in Frankston, Texas, writing for the school paper. Then, during the summers, he wrote a column for his hometown newspaper. It wasn't until college, however, when he saw the movie version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" that he decided to try his hand at writing plays. His first one-act, "The Boys in the Halls," a play about dorm life, was produced at Lon Morris Junior College in 1968 and has since vanished in some forgotten trash can. After moving to Houston he soon found other writing assignments at AstroWorld and in educational radio, night clubs and local television. His first play was published six years later. Still, writing was only a sideline along with several other odd jobs, which included playing piano in pizza parlors, acting in local commercials, industrial films and on stage, building scenery and selling pianos and organs. However, more plays got published and along the way, his wife, Rose Ann, taught him the joys of using a computer. This, coupled with his conviction to everything else and write full time, proved to be a turning point in his life. He has more than a hundred plays published by seven publishers. Many of these plays have been translated into Dutch and German. Further, he is also published in Eldridge's religious drama catalog (www.95church.com). He firmly believes that old saying, "The harder I work, the luckier I get," and that everyone has a story to tell, a dream to pursue. "And, believe me, if I can do it, anybody can!"

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  Three Musketeers...All Swash and No Buckle

Farce by Pat Cook

60 pages

7 m, 8 w, extras


Here is our version of the Dumas classic. Young D'Artagnan seeks to become a musketeer, or at least see if that brochure about Paris is true. In the city for less than ten minutes, he finds himself facing all three of the musketeers when they are charged by Rochefort and the Cardinal's Guards. This spoof of seventeenth century France pulls out all the stops and is full of outrageous characters from a lying Cardinal who's into magic to Milady DeWinter who cannot get rid of her mother. Throw in a narrator, several star-crossed lovers, a race on stick horses and...

  Somethin' Special for Christmas

Holiday Play by Pat Cook

55 pages

4 m, 3 w


Christmas in West Texas can be pretty drab, especially for three ranch hands who usually just decorate a cactus with painted barbed wire. However, when it looks as if their boss' ranch may be bought out from under them, Smitty, Bubba and Eddie decide they better come up with something and fast! Sara, their boss, has just about given up and is putting up a valiant front for her 9-year old daughter Jordan. "This has to be the best Christmas ever," she says to the boys. With "Santy" landing on the wrong roof, Eddie's duck getting loose, and the three ranch hands...

  The Fat of the Land

Comedy by Pat Cook

61 pages

3 m, 7 w


All the ladies at the Thelma Underwood Health Resort are either trying to date Duncan, the new counselor, or plotting how to get rid of Mr. Loggins, a sinister investor with visions of turning the place into a parking lot. Well, most of the ladies are plotting. Francis is busy mugging the cab driver for his Baby Ruth. And just when Duncan makes a play for the secretary, a newspaper reporter shows up to blow the lid off the place. Ulterior motives, hidden secrets and outrageous situations boil up in this all-too-human comedy about what some people will do to l...

  Legend Of Robin Hood...Sort Of

Comedy by Pat Cook

62 pages

5 m, 5 w, 3 flexible parts, and extras


Would you like to hear the legend of Robin Hood? If your answer is "I Sherwood," then hitch up your gauntlets and get ready to laugh. You see, it's a little-known fact that the famous English bandit was a bit of a klutz. As a kid he practiced with a bow and violin instead of a bow and arrow, so naturally to fight the king's injustices he needed his famous band of women. Women? That's what you get when you send Little John to do the recruiting! But just as the ladies are persuaded that after they steal from the rich they have to give the goodies to the poor, R...

  Scrambled

Comedy by Pat Cook

74 pages

6 m, 8 w


Purdy, who runs her Showtime Café famous for such dishes as “Fistful of Dollar Pancakes” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Ham,” is getting ready for a food critic, hoping for a great write-up. But that’s the least of her worries when she learns her old boyfriend is back in town. She and Austin made a pledge that if they weren’t hooked up with anyone else in twenty-five years they’d get together. Amelia and Celia, two gossips, have it all over town in no time! Jeanie, the teen who works for Purdy, thinks it’s so romantic and soon she and Cody Barnes get engaged! ...

  The Rubber Room

Comedy by Pat Cook

62 pages

5 m, 6 w


You ever wonder what goes on in a teachers' lounge? Here is your chance to snoop on a gang of educators who'll do anything to relieve the boredom. Whether it is planning ambushes for the principal or dressing up as Vikings, this particular group is beyond compare. That is, until they find out one of them has written a book and used the rest of the staff as examples! Accusations fly like spitwads. Hand-to-hand combat breaks out just when Superintendent Brooks shows up ready to fire Principal Carp and just ahead of a newspaper reporter who asks, "Don't you want...

  Quirk of Fate

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

7 m, 12 w


How could a box of cornflakes almost start a world war? Writing an ad campaign for Hampton’s Medicated Cornflakes is tough, especially when you have to get paid immediately to not get evicted! That’s what faces Rosie, Max, and Sid, who hit upon the idea of quarantining their own office to keep out their demanding landlady. But when a man stumbles in, stabbed in the back, it’s a whole new ballgame. Now, nobody can leave since it’s become the scene of a crime. More police show up along with a legal secretary, a Russian travel agent, a handsome doctor, and worst...

  Uncle Neddy's Last Stand

Comedy by Pat Cook

70 pages

5 m, 5 w


"Doing a kiddie TV show is like playing the bagpipes," Uncle Neddy says. "Who knows when you make a mistake?" And whether it is hunting down an escaped snake or sawing a lady in half, he and his sidekick, Skeezix the Clown, have been at it for decades. However, when the new station manager plans to get rid of his show, it is time for action! Filled with oddball characters, from a neurotic moose-toting puppeteer to a muscle-bound yes-man, this frantic slapstick comedy races along with action on both ends of the stage. Everyone is tuning in to the final show to...

  Dis-Order in the Court!

Farce by Pat Cook

61 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras as desired


First came Judge Wapner, then Judge Judy. Now comes Judge Clapham. But his court is a little more, shall we say, colorful than most. People come to court to bring announcements of car washes, to hold quilting bees and to drop off their mortgage payments. And what starts out as just another lazy day suddenly changes when shyster lawyer E. Z. Miles has the Judge marry two people madly in love...only to find out that the groom is on trial for embezzlement and the only witness against him is his new bride. "A wife cannot testify against her husband, right, Judge?...

  Saga of Prospector's Daughter

Melodrama by Pat Cook

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)


Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax wo...

  The Big Day

Comedy by Pat Cook

64 pages

Widely flexible cast, from 12 to 40+


You ever have a "Big Day"? We all have. Not quite like this group, however. Take the case of Butch and Murph, who decide to hold up a bank only to find that Murph is the "one millionth customer!" amid a flurry of confetti. Or little Phoebe, whose class assignment was to write a 500-word essay on her "Big Day" in which she tells of her birthday party where the dog set the couch on fire. We see the invention of the wheel and what it was REALLY for. And then there's Lucille, who gets her first driving lesson from her father ... the church pie sale being only one...

  Titanic: Tragedy and Trial

Drama by Pat Cook

65 pages

Large, flexible cast


In Act One, "Voices From the Titanic," the stage comes alive with the passengers and crew who address the audience directly. We see the magnificent, "almost unsinkable" ship through the eyes of both the first-class and third-class passengers. When the ship's lookout, Frederick Fleet, spots the iceberg, all the officers are called upon to carry out the most dreaded command Capt. Smith ever had to issue: "Get the lifeboats ready!" The ending is an emotional powerhouse as the cast recites name after name of those who survived ... and those who did not. In Act Tw...