Community Theatre Full Length

69 pages

3 m, 7 w, 1 flexible, optional doubling

Mary Beth Langmeyer is charged with first-degree murder after she shoots her husband while he sleeps. She claims he had been physically and emotionally abusive during their marriage, and that she feared for her life if she reported it. The case becomes a battle of personalities between the district attorney and the defense attorney as they stretch the limits of civility and flirt with contempt charges. The jury of five women and one man deliberate, ultimately finding themselves deadlocked. In the end, the audience votes as to whether the lone male juror will ...

72 pages

3 m, 3 w, 2 flexible (one non-speaking)

A madman is on the loose and college student Penny, somewhat flighty, has gotten a gun for protection over the objections of her brainy roommate Janice. The objections prove all too true when Penny accidentally shoots her boyfriend, Glen. Granted, his sense of humor often makes people want to shoot him, but this was truly an accident. Fortunately, Janice is a pre-med genius and she is able to use a very unorthodox method to save Glen’s life...kind of. His head at least, but only temporarily. While Glen protests to being stored in the TV cabinet, Penny is conc...

65 pages

5 m, 9 w

Here is an outrageous comedy for community theatres that puts the audience on the hot seat! A series of sixteen, quick-paced scenes illuminate the joys and tribulations of the modern theatre-going experience. In "An Audience of One," a single theatre patron delivers an impassioned monologue to convince the actors to perform the show just for her. The scene, "What the Crowd Is Thinking," allows us to hear the real thoughts of an audience sitting through an uninspired performance. In "Uber Ushers," a band of ushers, driven to the brink of madness by the boorish...

59 pages

6 m, 5 w

Everybody knows that whatever you need, you can find it at Hurley Squonk's general store, the Hitchin' Post. Run by Hurley himself, who is always behind the counter, this sort of "everything store" serves as a meeting place for the locals. There's Pinch Burdett, who spends all his time hawking his wife's jams and making up stories; Mrs. Bastrop, a feisty lady who got thrown out of the town's softball tournament; and Gloria, or "Glow Worm," a romantic teen who camps out at Hurley's magazine stand. But the normal, laid-back pace changes when a young couple from...

62 pages

4 m, 3 w

What do you do to prepare for a visit from your parents? Plenty, when you're the daughter of strict Italian Catholic parents who expect to meet your female roommate, who is actually a guy. John was hoping to celebrate his and Maria's two-year anniversary as housemates by proposing to her. Instead he finds himself as "Suzanne" wearing a dress and trying to cope with Maria's cranky father, her overbearing mother and her wild younger sister. Then there's Maria's old childhood friend who tries to make his move on Maria as well as "Suzanne." Add John's trouble-mak...

67 pages

4 m, 3 w

John and Maria are happily celebrating their first wedding anniversary when Maria's mother, Nicolette, shows up unexpectedly. Nicolette announces that she is divorcing Maria's father, Sal, because he forgot their 27th wedding anniversary. And if that isn't enough to ruin John and Maria's celebration, Sal pays a visit. A fight breaks out, and one thing leads to another until, eventually, Sal and John end up sleeping in the guest room. This leaves Maria no other choice but to share a bed with her talkative mother. To save his sanity and his own marriage, John s...

69 pages

6 m, 5 w

Two young innkeepers, Alex and Rolly, are struggling to make a success of a once-elegant hostelry in the Hamptons, but it's tough, especially with the owner Lucinda Pickle breathing down their necks. Of course it doesn't help that the hotel's permanent resident, Mrs. Prescott, collects pet mice; that the hotel chef, Cookie, is given to bursting into tears and resigning; and that a petty criminal, Willis the pickpocket, is looking for a place to hide out. When Hollywood horror movie producer Julian K. Silverblatt checks in with his vain bodyguard and his sneez...

56 pages

3 m, 3 w

Lacy Casey is socially awkward, has a goofy sense of humor, and has raised clumsiness to an art form. If you look in the dictionary under "adorkable," you'd find a picture of Lacy.  Her friends Sue and Trevor love her quirkiness and accept her for who she is. When Lacy goes out on her first date with Bryce, she assumes it will be their last date. After all, her ungraceful mannerisms practically destroy their dinner, and he keeps calling her by the wrong name. But he comes back for more ... Meanwhile, Trevor harbors a ...

56 pages

2 m, 2 w, 2 flexible, extras

68 pages

4 m, 5 w

This zany comedy, in the spirit of Kaufman and Hart, centers on Doc, an eccentric old man whose house caters to all sorts of characters. Now a retired judge, he spends his days “enjoying life.” When he’s not flying around the countryside in his balloon or fishing in a nearby dry riverbed, he works on his books of nonsense. This prompts his daughter, Charlotte, to decide he’s lost his marbles. So, conspiring with a sly lawyer, she plans to not only become his guardian but also sell his house and property. Throw in a psychologist on her first case, love sick te...

62 pages

4 -5 m, 4 w

“The Importance of Being Earnest” is Oscar Wilde's most perfect, and most popular, play. Since its premiere in 1895, it has given joy to generations of theatergoers. The play is often called a "comedy of manners," because in the world Wilde knew and wrote about, late 19th century British high society, manners were everything. In this play, young Jack Worthing and his good friend Algernon find themselves in a ridiculous situation after their fiancées learn they are coincidentally engaged to the same man. A glorious rendition of mistaken identity, Wilde's play ...

67 pages

3 m, 3 w

Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than th...

59 pages

3 m, 5 w

Lord and Lady Lexington have picked a rather beastly night to throw a haunted house party in their newly acquired home, Foxworth Manor. Oddly, the guest list appears to be made up of disparate and desperate strangers. There's the pretty secretary, the acerbic gossip columnist, the local physician, the flighty real-estate agent and a handsome, but somewhat surly young man. Foxworth Manor has a tragic history, and this evening will prove to be no exception. As the storm rages on outside, the guests suddenly discover that not everyone is quite the stranger they ...

56 pages

5 m, 7 w

Control freak Amber is getting married to easygoing Scott, and she's going nuts trying to organize the perfect wedding. Her goofball siblings Keith and Frankie aren't helping, and her pushy mother won't listen to her. Then Mom comes up with an inspired idea: a double wedding with Amber and Scott, and with crabby Grandpa and his slightly senile girlfriend Bonnie. Keith, entrusted with finding musical entertainment for the wedding, mistakenly hires two exotic dancers (and accidentally proposes to beefy bridesmaid Donna along the way). Amber's frustration mounts...

74 pages

5 m, 6 w

"I wasn't expecting anything to happen," intones detective Ace Baxter, "and that's just when anything CAN happen!" And happen it does, as Ace finds himself in a locked room standing in front of the only exit with a murder victim who was shot in the back ... and with Ace's own pistol. Shadows loom large when you're on the lam, as Ace finds out, whether he's disguising himself as a cleaning woman to inspect the scene of the crime, or ducking Sergeant Flint, who's chomping at the bit to clamp the cuffs on Baxter. The Professor helps out when he can, vowing to al...

63 pages

2 m, 4 w

Nola goes back to her parents' home after a disagreement with her boyfriend, Quincy, to sort through her problems in peace and quiet. What she finds instead is a circus of confusion. Her mother is dealing with repairs and redecoration of the house; her father refuses to help and escapes to work; and an energetic neighbor helps watch over Aunt Maggie, their somewhat vague relative who recently moved in after possibly poisoning her own cat ... and her late husband. Between the hidden money that turns up missing and Qunicy's arrival and bout with food (?) poison...

72 pages

From 14 to 26 speaking roles, extras. (5 m, 5 w, 4 flex)

Inspired by the life and works of Rudyard Kipling. Celebrated author Rudyard Kipling is shocked after receiving news that his only son John is missing in action in WW I. Kipling bottles his grief, throwing his focus on a new book. Suddenly he’s interrupted by a mysterious little girl named Priyam. Charmed by her innocence, he shares his famous story “The Jungle Book” with her. As the tale of Mowgli springs to life, Kipling’s own memories of how John became a soldier start to intertwine. As truth blends into fiction, Rudyard’s memories shift to nightmares. He ...

72 pages

5 m, 4 w, 1 girl, 1 male voice-over

KOLD Radio is located in a corner of Carl and Lena's Place for Beer in a small Minnesota town near the Canadian border. Lars Knudsen is the host of a radio show called "Crappie Talk," devoted entirely to ice fishing for crappies. Because it is a somewhat narrow subject, Lars has no listeners, so he loses his only advertiser, Ole's Bait Mart and Deer Petting Farm. Martha Bjorklund, Lars' unrequited love interest, hosts "Book Beat." She has all the listeners, and all the advertisers. Lars has issues with Martha ever since she beat him in the 50-yard dash in 6th...

84 pages

5 m, 6 w, 1 boy, 1 girl, 4 extra children, doubling possible.

Champion marigold horticulturist, neighborhood snoop, and generally nasty human being Leona Crump is back! Nine years earlier, she was tricked into selling her home and nearly ousted from her neighborhood as the result of an elaborate charade instigated by her friends and foes. But now, finally, her old house is on the market, and Leona is determined to move back home. Unfortunately, the real estate agent has been instructed to never sell the house back to Leona. Reluctantly, Leona partners with her estranged sister Francine (who has her own agenda), and the ...

78 pages

3 m, 3 w, 2 flexible roles

Valerie Simpson, a suburban housewife, has begun seeing visions of murders, kidnappings, suicides and even family members threatened with impending accidents. But the most incriminating vision may concern someone close to Val herself. She hesitates to go to the police because her husband works for a conservative firm ("Wall Street and psychic phenomena don't mix"), and because she has spent some time in a mental institution. Val's brother, a caring neighbor, and a psychic researcher, all offer support and understanding. But why is her husband so violently aga...

59 pages

8 m, 14 w

When Max Holsten sets out for work leaving behind his briefcase and an unfinished breakfast, his quaint 1950s family is besieged by a series of misunderstandings that fester into conspiracy theories and suspicions. The extended family Max and his newlywed wife, April, have been living with are no comfort. April’s sister June has an obsession with pulp-fiction intrigue and leads April to assume the worst about Max. Making matters murkier, Grandma May, the aged and easily confused matriarch of the family, misstates all the facts. Max’s seemingly simple oversigh...

58 pages

4 m, 3 w, extras

Two old grumpy Polish ladies, Lottie and Bernice, become trapped in a television studio by a blizzard and end up taking over Western New York’s favorite morning show “Buffalo Yak.” Well, they do have some help. Two constantly bickering janitors, Hal and Sal, agree to handle the editorials while Candy Bickel, a wildly ambitious station intern who sees the blizzard as her break into media stardom, takes over the news desk. Neurotic program director Virgil Mooch tries to help, despite the fact that being on-camera makes him throw up. Lloyd Block, the station man...

71 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 flexible, optional 1 boy

Armed with a sharply judgmental attitude and a pair of binoculars, homeowner Leona Crump is consumed with anxiety over her new neighbors. Will they be California beatniks? Or paroled drug pushers? Or more frightening yet, perhaps someone with children?! Her worst fears are realized when an odd-ball "hill-folk" family move in across the street. She quickly realizes that neither God, nor her favorite telephone psychic, has prepared her for the series of showdowns set to take place in her living room. Gafina Hambefferschmidt, an obnoxious, gum-chewing woman, tog...

72 pages

3 m, 9 w

The Peaceful Glen Memorial Players are about to mount a new production, but this time, it's a fight for their lives. It's not just the usual hand-to-hand combat between board members Duncan and Hope for the last donut. This time the company is about to lose their building. According to the late Archibald Donnelly's will, they could keep the building as long as they do "quality productions." Oh, they have tried, in their own left-field way, to do the classics. "Isn't it true," family heir Blair Beesley asks, "that you did 'Twelve Angry Men' with five actors an...

75 pages

7 m, 6 w

Have you ever wanted to stay in an old, drafty English manor with a serial murderer and a ghost running loose in the dark? Who hasn't? Houndstooth Manor simply abounds with atmosphere. "We're lousy with it," the butler intones as he casts a suspicious eye over the paying guests, wondering who is next to be murdered. Will it be the pompous, retired Major who's always going on about how he stopped some uprising "with just a few well-chosen words and a flame thrower." Or maybe the honeymooning couple who know more than they'd like you to believe. Or maybe the fo...

72 pages

5 m, 6 w, extras as campaigners

Politics can be murder! It's election night and all the friends and supporters of mayoral candidate Matthew Kensington are throwing him a surprise birthday/campaign party. But there's one surprise no one suspects. An aide is found stabbed in the back with the birthday cake knife! Clues and suspects abound in this frenetic political satire that leaves the audience wondering just who they CAN trust. Great fun for all, with campaigners canvassing the audience as to whom they'll vote for. Not only can the audience question the suspects, but they even get to vote ...

57 pages

3 m, 6 w

You think it's easy to write a murder? Just ask the Marquis Crossing Ladies Society for the Arts. They decide to do just that, especially when they find out they have to pay royalties to do someone else's play. "Anybody can write a murder," Emma tells the others, and Opaline immediately begins to try to strangle the other members "just to figure out how to do it." The ladies soon find themselves writing an "operatic murder mystery dinner theater with possible audience participation," providing no one sells fruit to the audience. Then two actual convicts on th...

63 pages

7 m, 3 w

Molière’s comic masterpiece centers on the character of the French courtier Alceste and the beautiful young widow Célimène he hopes to marry. But the two have radically different personalities: Alceste is a snob who insists on telling everyone the truth as he sees it, and Célimène’s instinct is to tell people - and particularly attractive men - only what they are dying to hear. So Célimène flirts and gossips with the courtiers who come to her house while Alceste fumes in jealousy. A virtual menagerie of other characters seek to intervene, either to bring the ...

55 pages

1 m, 3 w

Two sisters, Claire and Dora, are opposites when it comes to just about everything, and this night is no exception. Claire has spent her day at a funeral, while Dora has been at a wedding. But while Dora complains of not being able to meet anyone at the wedding, Claire admits to running into an old fling, Peter, at the funeral. The two sisters are in the middle of a fight when Peter calls and says he must see Claire right away. Claire hurries to get ready for his arrival when their eccentric mother unexpectedly arrives ready to cook a roast. The two sisters b...

62 pages

4 m, 6 w, 4 flex

“How’d you like to be on television?” This question, posed by future daughter-in-law Anne, takes Loff DuVall by surprise. After all, he and May June had been running the Hampton Court trailer park for more years than either would care to admit. The last thing he’d want now is to be in some reality TV show. In fact, he was hoping he and May June could get away for a while, take a long vacation from the place. He wouldn’t have to listen to Goose Halford’s long stories, such as how his grandpa has a metal plate in his head. “The kids used to catch him asleep and...