Community Theatre Full Length

75 pages

5 m, 7 w

Newlyweds Sam and Margaret Howard discover they are in line to inherit $3.5 million from his great-grandmother whom he has never met. But before she is willing to add them to her will she wants to meet Sam and his new wife face to face to make sure they are “worthy.” Of course, nothing goes smoothly, especially since Sam is hiding an expensive diamond necklace for his boss, two burglars mistake their home for another, and the neighbor’s vague grandmother has wandered off…and may be somewhere in their house! Their friends, Rob and Kelsey, go to extremes to hel...

52 pages

3 m, 6 w, doubling possible

A small-town funeral parlor is a hilarious place to visit in this trilogy of one-acts. In "All Laid Out," Mama, who stubbornly clings to out-dated manners and mores, finds being with her two squabbling daughters, the stuffy and pampered Lorena, and the free-spirited Ronnie, more stressful than being a new widow! In "Dust to Dust," the widow of Rick, who was a traveling salesman, and the widow of Fred, who was also a traveling salesman, meet face to face at the same coffin! But their outrage turns into understanding as they compare notes and jokes about Fredri...

44 pages

4 m, 3 w

Two married couples pool their resources to buy a diner in the middle of the desert. Excited and enthusiastic at first, they come to realize their dream isn’t turning out to be the success they wanted. Unable to afford to fix the diner’s broken sign or pave the dusty parking lot, the hoped-for customers continue to drive by without stopping. Inside the diner, with failing equipment and dwindling funds, the two couples discover they can’t even sell the building for a portion of what they paid for it. They are about to give up in desperation when a handsome, ch...

80 pages

5 m, 9 w, extras

Billionaire industrialist Wentworth Jefferson invites private investigator Joey (Jo Ellen) Reynolds to a party at his mansion where she meets, and secretly photographs, the people he believes might wish to see him dead. Frozen for a moment, as if caught on film, we meet the suspects: his flighty wife, Mamie; her children, playboy Sam Kane and sculptress daughter, Selena; his bitter ex-wife, Julia Jefferson; society columnist Felica Phillips, whom he once jilted; his spinsterish personal assistant, Debra Mason; and a senior executive in his firm, Paul Carter, ...

69 pages

1 m, 6 w

"If there's any skeletons in the closet, I'll find them!" states Angie, who then opens a closet and has a skeleton literally fly in her face. This is one of the many surprises that faces the undercover police woman who just took on a job as a "domestic engineer," hired by Dr. Hugh Bernard to "find out what's going on." Five elderly spinsters live in the same house and all, apparently, hate each other. And what a group. There's Evelyn, who keeps acting out death scenes for Fiona, who's writing some sort of novel. Then there's Catherine, who keeps alluding to h...

80 pages

12 m, 14 w, 5 flexible; doubling possible; extras as aliens

Elise Sims has just finished college, and she's ready to take on the world. Now she just has to tell her family about her plans. But they live in Oyer’s Corners, a town full of odd folks who make a living by selling tours and souvenirs to UFO seekers. Elise's grandfather, Jebediah Sims, started the UFO legend nearly forty years ago when he claimed he was abducted and taken aboard a flying saucer. New technology is making it increasingly difficult to fake UFO evidence, and the townsfolk are struggling to keep the legend -- and Oyer’s Corners -- alive. One fact...

60 pages

12 to 30 (4 m, 8 w with doubling) (7 m, 13 w, 10+ flexible)

In 1890s London, a recent night of fatal violence has terrorized the city. Scotland Yard fears that the infamous Jack the Ripper has finally returned home. Inspector William Wright has staked his career on bringing the killer to justice and believes he finally has his man. Wright will stop at nothing to make sure that George Bessel goes to the gallows for the crime. However, Bessel’s partner and friend, Theresa Vincey, protests his innocence. The leading witness to the crime, Vincey holds the key to Bessel’s fate. As the investigation unfolds with interviews,...

68 pages

6 m, 5 w

WHAM! The Masked Wonder leaps into the room and fights off four or five henchmen without even wrinkling his cape and then...? Then the Hollywood writers of the Majestic Film Studios have to figure out what he does next. Pop, Tiger Lil, Stu, Howard and Dena are stuck until they meet the latest addition to their writer's stable. "Like any of us are writers," says Howard, "or stable." As the new kid on the team, Freddie has a lot to prove, mostly to his overbearing mother. Does he give up and leave with Mom? No chance! Especially not with Dena around! These two ...

60 pages

3 m, 5 w

Six current-day ghost hunters set out to find the truth in the murder legend of Vinney Keller, a naïve teenager who was found dead in her farmhouse cellar in 1903. Historical opinion places the blame on the Keller’s hired hand: Enos Patchett, a lumbering, illiterate man in his 40s, who was with the Keller family for years. But there were other suspects as well. The ghost hunters hope to contact Vinney’s spirit to find out the real story. But for some of the hunters, truth is secondary to hyping their methods and results to increase their media popularity and ...

50 pages

5 m, 6 w (2 m, 2 w, with doubling)

These three short plays all involve crime and they feature people so rotten, you don't care if they come to a bad end.

In “What It Looks Like” (2 m, 2 w), a trio of thieves sets out to rob a place where one of them is house-sitting. They hope to get away with the theft by arranging the scene to make it tell the story they want it to tell—that somebody from outside broke in. But none of the three is trustworthy, and, it turns out, neither is the owner who hired the house-sitter. Nothing is really what it looks lik...

52 pages

6 m, 6 w

The ill-fated Crenshaw family reunions are always such disastrous affairs that everyone wishes they were orphans. This year young Teddy takes his new wife, Susan, home to meet the clan and winds up kidnapped - along with everyone else - because no one showed up at the last reunion at Aunt Sophie's and she's ready for revenge. Teddy and Susan, the most normal of the bunch, serve as narrators and occasionally speak directly to the audience. Still, you can't help loving the other family lunatics including Teddy's brother, the non-stop salesman; the sister who is...

65 pages

1 m, 8 w (or 9 w)

Veronica Blather is a sweet little old lady who spends most of her time knitting and solving murders, most of which occur whenever she shows up. Understandably she has a problem finding a place to live. When her niece invites her to stay at a retirement home for old knitters, it seems ideal - until one of its members dies from drinking poisoned punch. Who did it? Was it Matilda, the president of the Crazy Quilt Club, or Lydia, who likes to die on Tuesdays? Could it be Clara, who's a compulsive liar, or the wisecracking Sarafina who doesn't trust anybody and c...

56 pages

2 m, 4 w

A young mother, penniless and desperate, moves to a lonely lighthouse with her infant to escape her rich and possessive husband, a doctor used to getting his own way. So when the baby is kidnapped, it seems so obvious the father is behind it. But like an intricate and suspenseful chess game, there are numerous moves which simultaneously reveal and confuse. A suspicious car only Karen, the young mother, spies. Her long-buried secret of a child that died in her care. A grandmotherly housekeeper who so conveniently appears to help. A dead stranger. Insurance mon...

69 pages

4 m, 3 w

Ray Chambers is a sales executive whose company invests in small businesses to franchise them. His target this time is surly Kirby Muldoon, the owner of Kirby's Pizzeria. Kirby has taken a vacation to a mountaintop lodge to work on his anger management. Ray, with the help of his fiancée Julie and his woman-crazy assistant Tony, schemes to win over Kirby. It’s complicated by Tony's infatuation with Kirby's waitress Lisa and the shrill owner of the lodge, Cyndi, who can't seem to stop shrieking at an unseen handyman. After being turned down the first time, Ray ...

63 pages

5 m, 4 w, extras

A Commedia dell'Arte troupe invades a town square on market day and performs a hilarious play. In it, two young men and their servant have come to the town to find love. And they do with two young ladies. But their father, an impoverished man, has plans to marry one to his rich, fat friend, who happens to be the father of one of the young men. The daughter would rather marry the other young man, of course. Meanwhile, a rich, widowed contessa begins to pursue the girls' father. It falls to the faithful servant to arrange all the romances, forcing him to preten...

58 pages

3 m, 3 w

Howard, a middle-aged tailor, indulges in daydreams to escape his humdrum existence. Norma, his suspicious wife, believes he is fantasizing about Dorothy, a sexy widow friend, so she comes up with a scheme to have Dorothy passionately flirt with Howard to test his fidelity. But Norma's plan backfires when Howard retaliates by conniving with Dorothy to turn the trick around. Soon Norma is threatening divorce and conspiring with a widower in a romantic charade to make Howard jealous. When the mixed-up couples are spotted having intimate dinners for two by Howar...

68 pages

3 m, 1 w, 5 flex; total of 9 with doubling, 42 w/o doubling

Ever forced to wait and wait…and wait? Want to scream at nonsensical bureaucracy? Then you’ll sympathize with Mr. Poosch who, after he accidentally leaves his well-made coat in the country to the North, finds tremendous hurdles when he attempts to get it back. First, he cannot obtain the right paperwork to travel, and then, when he finally arrives, it is Sunday and the country is closed on Sundays. A homeless man finds the coat and finds his luck turns around while wearing it. Meanwhile, poor Mr. Poosch finds himself broke, hungry, and laboring in the street....

67 pages

4 m, 4 w

Margaret Miller is a self-styled "barracuda" literary agent whose new client, Shane Velasco, star of action films, is expected for dinner and contract negotiations. Her routine business meeting becomes a comedy playground when her associate (and ex-husband) Hank shows up with his own client, Madame Guadelupe Montevideo, "world famous" hypnotist. When Margaret insults Guadelupe, she turns her fiery temper and flare for the dramatic on Margaret, hypnotizing her into a shy, five-year-old child. Coping with her growing pains are her roommate Janet, a bored execut...

76 pages

4 m, 3 w

It’s the 1930s, the glory days of radio. Radio dramas are thriving! Well, everywhere except Portland’s local station KOD. This run-down station is struggling to stay on the air. After receiving a cease-and-desist letter, the long-running show “Stan Shade, Private Eye” must come to an end. In an effort to save the station, owner Fredrick Glass has secretly worked out a deal to become an NBC affiliate. All he has to do is introduce a new hit show that will keep the advertisers happy until the contract is signed. Finally, all the success Fred has always wanted.....

66 pages

2 m, 3 w, 1 flexible

Nora Marsh has lived with the burden of a father who's been branded a traitor. She has tried to keep their inn, the Cat and Mouse, running smoothly, but her father's depression and drinking after his return from the World War II European front has made life difficult. Her life begins to further unravel when a new border, Daniel Cavell, turns up missing. Kate Sherwin, the local Civil Defense warden, and Cavell's mother, Ruth, begin a search which ends when his body is found in the window seat of the inn's living room. Kate has long suspected Nora's father Harr...

59 pages

5 m, 4 w

Adapted by Pat Cook From the short story by Oscar Wilde. Hiram and Lucy Otis can't wait to move into their pastoral English manor house...just as soon as the ghost moves out. That's right, Canterville Hall comes complete with a howling, green ghoul, but only if Sir Simon (the ghost) can remember to bring the green mist with him. This classic Oscar Wilde tale spins the Otis family through a maze of dithering maids, blustering bosses and an English realtor who's always looking for a free lunch. The mystery unfolds amid flashes of thunder and disappearing guests...

45 pages

3 m, 5 w, optional extras

Here's a delicious comedy which can be followed by your own dessert sale or cakewalk. Two older ladies, Helen and Fern, are the force behind the church's program to feed the poor. (Well, actually Helen thinks it is she herself who must do everything to get it done right, with Fern as her helper.) But their outreach program of serving soup and sandwiches may not last much longer because the church just doesn't have the funds. That's a real blow since the church across town puts out a much better spread and more often! Helen decides the only way to continue is ...

68 pages

Approx. 10 m, 4 w, extras. Much doubling possible.

One of the world's great comedies. The wealthy Monsieur Jourdain hires teachers to train him in the Arts, and succeeds only in making himself appear foolish to everybody but himself. Then he tries to court an elegant Countess, making himself even more foolish. The play also contains a rambunctious mixture of Molière’s dramatic modes: Roman–style farce, commedia dell’arte gags, romantic high comedy, two mini–operas, and great quantities of topical satire. In its time it was a social satire today we can appreciate the satire but enjoy the hilarity. The play end...

68 pages

7 m, 2 w

At the height of WWII with a frantic need to produce food, yet faced with a critical shortage of labor, American farmers were compelled to accept help in their fields from prisoners of war. While farmers’ sons fought men just like them in trenches and tanks in Europe, the presence of these POWs in rural America led to plenty of emotional conflict at home. Isabelle Hunt knows her husband Fred needs help with their beet crop, so he grudgingly allows German POWs from a camp nearby to work the family’s fields. Fred is furious over the food and privileges the POWs...

42 pages

5 m, 3 w, 1 flexible

A wacky cast of actors is rehearsing for its big community theatre production of "You Only Die Twice." Marge Cunningham, the author of this "spell-binding murder mystery," runs the Enchanting Dreams Bed-and-Breakfast, which doubles as the community theatre. When she receives word that a top Broadway producer is coming to town to hopefully "discover" some fresh acting talent, she notifies the cast, and they go into high gear to perfect the show before opening night. They decide to stay in character and run their lines as much as possible before the performance...

69 pages

5 to 6 m, 7 w

Wouldn't it be great fun to direct William Shakespeare's "Hamlet"? That was what Margo Daley always thought...until she is hired to do just that by the Peaceful Glen Memorial Players in their theater, a renovated funeral home. They DO have a couple of conditions, however. Margo has to make the play a melodrama, so the audience will know when to throw the popcorn. And they can't be too loud because the lady who lives under the theater bangs her cane on the stage. Oh, and Margo has to insert the sponsors' names into the play and, by the way, has to take place i...

60 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras

Coming to your theatre! All the fast-paced action, all the cockeyed characters, all the romance you'd ever want and still have room for popcorn. Return with us now to those thrilling days of silent movies when anything went and usually took most of the scenery with it. Can B.B. Tackett, one step ahead of the police, make his next movie? Will Freddie Thurlow find true love with the daughter of a fruit vendor and will she be the apple of his eye? And just who brought in a stuffed hamster, anyway? Wisecracking their way through one scrape after another, our litt...

64 pages

5 m, 5 w

"I wish just once we could have a family get-together without somebody getting tied up!" This plaintive request, yelled at the top of her lungs by Aunt Clarise, gives you a pretty good idea of how family reunions go for this particular gang. Peri has taken her husband Graham to the family lake house to finally meet the clan. And Graham was looking forward to it. That is, until he gets overcharged by the taxi service, takes a large swig from the Major's private stock and has a wax apple stuck in his mouth, only to be dislodged by a slap on the head. It's littl...

74 pages

14 m, 10 w, 4 flexible, extras

Rick Burgess and coworkers, Joe and Samantha, are on an outward-bound training weekend, organized by their boss, Rick's father, when they become hopelessly lost in the forest. Through the fog they finally stumble upon a remote little village, Ashdown-Lee. But the villagers are dressed as peasants and wary of the intruders. Ingrid, the mayor's daughter, however, is attracted to Rick and invites the trio to stay. They soon discover that the magical village appears only one day every fifty years. To the villagers it is the next day, but to the rest of the world ...

56 pages

Flexible cast of about 30

This delightful adaptation updates the action to 20th century New Orleans Mardi Gras celebration! It has been edited for time and archaic expressions, but otherwise the language is the same. The through-line is still very evident as Shakespeare's comment on the classes and pastoralism. Included in the oversized script are four original songs, New Orleans jazz style, which use Shakespeare's poems as the lyrics, with the suggestion of a grand finale of "When the Saints Go Marching In." The costumes are modern day but still very much in the style of Shakespeare ...