Burton Bumgarner

Burton Bumgarner grew up in North Carolina, where he now lives and works as a musician. He earned an undergraduate degree in music from Greensboro College, and a Master of Music degree from Southern Methodist University. He began writing plays in 1994. He is a four-time winner of the Robert J. Pickering Award for Playwriting from the Coldwater (MI) Community Theater, and in 2004 he won the McLaren Memorial Comedy Playwriting Award from the Midland (TX) Community Theater. A member of the Dramatist Guild of America, Burton has over 80 scripts (comedies, dramas, one acts and 10 minute scripts ) in publication.

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  The Necklace

Drama by Burton Bumgarner

33 pages

4 m, 4 w, 6 flexible, doubling possible


Charleston, South Carolina, sometime after the Civil War. A poor woman borrows a diamond necklace from a wealthy friend to wear at a party. She hopes that this outing will change the circumstances of her life and fortune, and that the other guests will see that she and her husband really belong within the ranks of the upper classes. But things go awry, and she loses the necklace. Pride will not allow her to tell her friend of the loss. Instead, she has another necklace made to match the one that was lost, and she and her husband spend the next 12 years paying...

  Money Merry-Go-Round

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

38 pages

2 m, 2 w


Based on the short story "Twin Spirits" by W. W. Jacobs. This delicious comedy tells of Gilbert and Addie Cox, whose marriage is based on her money and headed for the rocks. When Gilbert begins to pawn household items to pay for his gambling, Addie confides in her nosy neighbor, Doris. The two women concoct a plan involving Doris' lazy Uncle Joseph. He is to pretend to be an agent from the bank repossessing the house and property. But the two men conspire to turn the tables on the women and get more money out of Addie. Addie and Doris, however, are smarter th...

  Dormitory

Drama Humor With Humor by Burton Bumgarner

58 pages

5 m, 3 w (all play multiple roles)


On the campus of a small liberal arts college, one dormitory has served as a home to students for over a hundred years. The play opens in the present when two college freshmen, Jake and Clay, become roommates during the year before the dorm is scheduled to be torn down. Their story is interwoven with a century of college antics and hijinks, hopes and tragedies, as the previous residents act out their moments in the same dorm room. We meet the dormitory's occupants from the early days of the century, the Great Depression, the second World War, the early days o...

  The Devil and Danielle Webster

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

30 pages

5 m, 5 w, 9 or more flexible


From the short story "The Devil and Daniel Webster" by Stephen Vincent Benet. Poor Jake Stone is a total loser. When he finally loses the worst job he's ever had, he makes the claim that he would do anything to be a winner. Soon he meets Lucy, a seemingly attractive, professional woman who can make a special deal with him: she gives Jake wisdom, and he signs away his soul. Rather than waste his opportunity, Jake becomes a kind and intelligent person who gives much to the world. As the time to relinquish his soul draws near, he seeks out the counsel of Daniell...

  Personals and Proposals

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

37 pages

4 m, 4 w


Four men and four women perform seven hilarious scenes about dating and marriage proposals. Three scenes highlight trying to find someone special through an online dating service called Meet-interesting-people-who-will-like-you.com. As our singles find out, however, the site doesn't live up to its name! The other scenes include some of the worst marriage proposals ever; two coaches trying to lead a couple down the path of wedlock; a Monday Night Football-style coverage of a proposal; and a National Geographic television-type look at a romantic dinner. All tog...

  West Wing Follies

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

72 pages

Flexible cast of 12


Here is a hysterical, non-partisan look at our fearless (and not so fearless) U.S. Presidents, their achievements, their failures, and their idiosyncrasies. This play offers a flexible, kazoo-playing cast the opportunity to portray history as never before! From newscasts, game shows, reality TV, talk shows, beach movies, the Grand Ol' Opry, and Shakespeare soliloquies, a cast of 12 actors presents all of the United States Presidents in twenty brief scenes. Former Presidents interview for jobs, advertise used cars, head to Fort Lauderdale for spring break, and...

  Lunch

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

29 pages

4 m, 5 w


George and Dana each had such high hopes for their high school popularity and love life back when they were in junior high. But the reality is they now have their lunch stolen every day and are subjected to catty comments by the sports jocks and cheerleaders. Laugh and cheer as George and Dana's daydreams for wild success come alive as they imagine themselves as successful business people, Nobel Prize-winning scientists, famous actors and authors, and secret CIA operatives foiling hijacking attempts. Meanwhile, their tormentors' biggest achievement is to memo...

  Mini Loa Luau

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

52 pages

Approx. 5 m, 4 w, 14 flexible, extras.


A village on a tiny Hawaiian island is preparing for its annual luau which draws much needed tourist dollars. The mayor and the local historian find out that the Mini Loa volcano (not to be confused with Mauna Loa volcano), needs a human sacrifice every five years and, much to their disgust, it's their job to find a suitable candidate. Tourists from across the lower 48 states flock to Mini Loa for a vacation of a lifetime, thanks to some advertisements in some unlikely magazines. Joining them are two reporters from a vacation TV network, one of whom is still ...

  Schartz-Metterklume Method

Classic by Burton Bumgarner

30 pages

With doubling 3 m, 7 w


Adapted by Burton Bumgarner From the short story by H.H. Munro (Saki). Here is a delicious tale of conventional manners and expectations turned topsy-turvy. When an upper-class family goes to meet their new English governess, they mistakenly bring home Lady Carlotta. Her eccentricities at first delight the parents, whose four children have been the cause of past governesses' psychological breakdowns. The mother likes the idea of education being interesting and relevant to children; the father prefers discipline. Carlotta claims to teach by the "Schartz-Metter...

  Sidelines

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

32 pages

5 m, 7 w


Dr. Jennings has always dreamed of life as a country doctor, but life in a town without an espresso machine horrifies his family. These tensions peak when the family attends the local 4th of July parade, a staple of small town life. Viewing the "parade" from curbside as it passes, the family lists the many sins and failings of the unsophisticated townsfolk, some of which seem deserved. But the natives aren't too pleased with the way the big city folk are treating them, either. In the end, the Jennings find comfort in the hospitality a small town offers and th...

  Time In / Time Out

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

30 pages

6 m, 8 w


A group of students from the late '60s are suffering through "time-out" suspension in school. A dreaded teacher, Miss Pruette (who is never seen on stage), lectures them on the seriousness of their infractions. If they only knew the consequences of their actions, they would act differently. She'd sure like to show them their future. Suddenly, a group of students from the '90s enters for in-school suspension and they bear a striking resemblance to the first group. It soon becomes apparent to the first group that these social renegades are their children! As th...

  Blind Spot

Classic by Burton Bumgarner

34 pages

6 m, 5 w, 1 flexible, doubling possible


Based on the story by H.H. Munro (Saki). Wealthy Uncle Lulworth eagerly awaits the next meal from his uncommonly skilled, but foul-tempered cook, Mrs. Sebastian. His niece, Ellen, visits him shortly before dinner after their aunt's funeral. As executor of the estate, Ellen has run across a series of letters to the aunt from another relative, Uncle Peter, who died years earlier under mysterious circumstances. Through re-enactments based on the letters, we learn Uncle Peter was a despicable human being and was probably killed by a "common" criminal, perhaps som...