Melodramas and Westerns

47 pages

4 m, 5 w, 4 flexible

Flint Buckshot is away at a sheriffs convention, so his daughter, Shania, is the deputy in charge - even though she never did get a horse, badge, or a gun to make it official-like! When two desperados, Saddleback Bertha and Sleazebag Barney, roll into town, they realize they've found easy pickings. Telegrams soon arrive reporting that Flint's been badly hurt. Smelling an opportunity, Bertha points out that since Shania is a novice, Barney should be the sheriff because he has considerable experience with law enforcement (although on the wrong side of the law!)...

22 pages

Flexible cast of 14

Smedley S. Snerd, a typical nerd hero, is the star student of Miss Fossil's geology class. He's got a big crush on Marybelle Moosenheimer, the heroine, star cheerleader, and member of the Locks, a group which values their beautiful hair. Other peer groups include the Rocks, who are into "heavy metal"; the Jocks, who are athletically inclined; and the Rolls, a gang of hoodlums led by the infamous macho villain, Mr. G. But brain outwits brawn as Smedley uses his marbles to trip up Mr. G and his gang, win Marybelle's hand, and explain to Miss Fossil the real ori...

60 pages

4 m , 10 w

Ma and Pa Culpepper are in danger of losing their livelihood - the Last Chance Inn - to Horace Prickley, a representative from the loan offices of Gimme, Gimme & Gimme. In need of a son or son-in-law, the Culpeppers scheme to adopt and marry off pretty (but clumsy) orphan-turned-waitress, Patience Sweetwater. The intended groom is the newly-appointed Sheriff Virgil St. Vigil, who makes the rounds with his deputy and trusted side-kick, Princess Prettyfoot. Prickley learns of the Culpeppers' plot and enlists the aid of the beautiful Sahara Hartburn to "dist...

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)

Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax wo...

43 pages

5 m, 6 w, 3 flexible parts

Villainous Bernard Blackburn is in debt up to his dark moustache, but he plans to wed innocent Polly Goodson to remedy that! She believes she is penniless, but actually her late father's insurance policy is very valuable. Blackburn is somewhat daunted when he meets Polly's eccentric family and disapproving maid, but he easily gets her boyfriend, John Trueheart, out of the picture by convincing him to go off to make his fortune before asking Polly for her hand in marriage. Luckily, Trueheart finds his fortune in a diamond mine and in a final blackout scene, ev...

25 pages

5 m, 6 w, 3 flexible, extras

How can one man, even if he is Dirty Dan, capture the whole Mountie Choral Society? Easy, when you know all the men snap to attention at the words, "Northwest Mounted Police!" Trouble is as deep as the snow for Louella Lovelace's wedding to Sgt. Richard Dobetter. In addition to Dirty Dan, who's disguised himself as the Abominable Snowman, wedding guests are falling into bear traps and the townspeople fall for rumor of a silver rush. The play ends with Dirty Dan serving as the flower girl in a tutu. About 30 minutes.

28 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 flexible

An evil banker, Char Cole, wants the land the church sits on to build a casino. He sends a bogus mortgage bill demanding the church pay a $10,000 balloon payment to scare the congregation in to selling him the property for a fraction of what it is worth. Church members hurriedly decides to submit a secret barbecue recipe to a contest in hopes of winning the huge cash prize. They even open a barbecue restaurant in the church to raise money. Meanwhile, Miss Phit, the bumbling church secretary, is constantly getting the bulletins and newsletters wrong, sending m...

55 pages

4 m, 6 w

Ivory Keyes, the sharp-tongued, shoot-from-the-hip piano player from the "Calamity Gulch" trilogy, is back in her own brand-new adventure. When Ivory learns that her uncle, Lord Ebony Keyes, has died, she and Sheriff Prettyfoot travel to England to claim the inheritance. The family solicitor, Basil Q. Wainscoting, Esquire, plots to keep the estate to himself by proving Ivory to be "unvirtuous." His plans are foiled when his handsome nephew, Heathcliff, a poet, falls instead for pretty secretary, Paisley Fairfax. Before too long, a storm is raging outside and ...

42 pages

6 m, 5 w, extras, doubling possible

Papa Praiseworthy has mortgaged the family farm to have money to pay for the long-needed operation to cure Mama and create a trousseau for sweet Polly’s marriage to our hero, Jedediah Justice, of Justice Junction. Little does the family know when they stop to help an ill traveler on the road, the man is the evil brother of the villain, Delvin Dastardly. The Dastardly brothers frame Papa and get him thrown onto a chain gang. Now Polly will have to bring in the harvest with only the aid of her brother Penrose and sister Penny. Too proud to do less, Polly woeful...

24 pages

3 m, 3 w, 6 flexible

Tomorrow is opening night at The Grand Old Theatre and Mastermime, a notorious criminal who distracts audiences with entrancing mime routines and then disappears with their valuables, has defaced the theatre marquee and is terrorizing the stagehands. Will hard-boiled detective Stanton Ovation and his earnest sidekick Deputy Hammet Upp capture this mute but expressive villain before he steals self-absorbed celebrity actress Ima Starr’s diamonds? Or is there more to this case than it seems? Ima’s talkative assistant Roberta, who was a forensic scientist before ...

69 pages

4 m, 6 w

Even though lovely young Julia works hard, she and her aunt will not be able to afford to keep their humble home, which sits at the edge of a garbage dump. If they lose their home, they’ll also lose the treasure Julia’s papa buried somewhere on the property that would take care of all their needs. (Hero Dan would ask his parents for money to help Julia, but alas, he too is an orphan.) As they try yet again to figure out the special riddle to the treasure’s location, a German Mennonite detective appears on the case and is soon followed by two old ladies with l...

22 pages

4 m, 7 w, 1 flexible part

When payrolls are robbed from stagecoach runs miles apart four times in a row by a thief who smells nice, the folks in Gravestone start to wonder if something's amiss! Lovely heroine Lucy Lovelight thinks Rudolph Rumple could be involved. He's paymaster for the companies and owner of the town store/hotel/bar. Lately he's been burning his trash hourly and making a suspicious amount of smoke. Lucy's true love, Harold Hardluck, is back from another failed attempt at mining. To pay back all the money he owes Rudolph, Harold must dress as a dancing girl and work a...

54 pages

6 m, 6 w

Here's a fast-moving, fun-filled play that mixes melodramatics with show business. Sonny Nuggett, a young, handsome theatre student (the hero, of course!) tries to assemble a dance act to save his parents' failing restaurant in the Gold Country of Old Californy. Col. Questus Quantrell, a shady showman with hypnotic powers, appears with three clumsy dancing girls. He schemes to take over the café by plotting murder and cheating two old prospectors, Pa and his old partner, Fred, out of their newly re-found "lost" goldmine. Fred is the father of Cora, a beautifu...

58 pages

3 m, 6 w, 3 flexible parts

The Culpeppers open the doors to the Last Chance Inn once again in this hilarious sequel to "Last Chance Inn, Calamity Gulch." Ma's just as harried, Pa's just as cantankerous, and Horace Prickley is just as villainous! This time he plots to woo and wed the woeful Widder Black and take control of her fortune. It seems, however, that Horace may have to share the money with the Widder's noble nephew, Peter Loveless...if the young man finds a bride before the week is out. Enter two likely prospects - Pansy Perriwinkle (the most annoyingly sweet heroine ever to gr...

57 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 flexible, 5-7 kids or adults dressed as kids

At Jim Dandy's Dandy Dude Ranch for Children, nasty city kids learn good manners and improve their self-images. The Dandy ladies, including the lovely young Melody Dandy, are running the ranch while Jim Dandy is serving an undeserved prison sentence. Trouble is, the ranch is close to the future railroad line and villain Rash von Sphincter is determined to have it. Rash tricks the gals into letting him manage the ranch, turning all the dude children into brats, ruining the ranch's reputation, and (hopefully) forcing Mrs. Dandy to sell. All is saved when our he...