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  The Fourth Wall

Comedy by Rebekah M. Ball

31 pages

2 m, 2 w, 5 flexible


Leaping llamas! "The Fourth Wall," a play within a play, begins as a murder mystery, but the murder victim won't keel over. The playwright forgot to give the characters names, and a rude audience member keeps interrupting the show. Even the ending of the play stinks! Everyone is supposed to die and then the character Death is supposed to do an interpretive dance. Thankfully, the audience's agony is cut short halfway through when the actors break character because Death accidentally kills the Host and then leaves the set to move his car. Without Death, how can...

  Superhero Sanitarium

Comedy by Scott Haan

41 pages

3 m, 3 w


Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while enthusiastic Dim Bulb thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than the other inmates, doesn’t embarrass himself ...

  Madam's Been Murdered, Tea Will Be Late

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

75 pages

7 m, 6 w


Have you ever wanted to stay in an old, drafty English manor with a serial murderer and a ghost running loose in the dark? Who hasn't? Houndstooth Manor simply abounds with atmosphere. "We're lousy with it," the butler intones as he casts a suspicious eye over the paying guests, wondering who is next to be murdered. Will it be the pompous, retired Major who's always going on about how he stopped some uprising "with just a few well-chosen words and a flame thrower." Or maybe the honeymooning couple who know more than they'd like you to believe. Or maybe the fo...

  The Money in Uncle George's Suitcase

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 5 w


When Uncle George invites his whole family up for a weekend of fun at his rustic cabin, he actually wants them together so he can read his will. But between the bequeathing and his rambling stories, George drops the bomb that somewhere on the property is a suitcase holding four hundred and eighty thousand dollars! What follows is a hilarious farce of pettiness, slander, and greed. The relatives end up wrestling each other, falling down the stairs, and getting stuck in the furniture. "Yep, we're gonna have lots of fun!" says George as he's seen carrying a shov...

  Crazy Quilt Club

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

65 pages

1 m, 8 w (or 9 w)


Veronica Blather is a sweet little old lady who spends most of her time knitting and solving murders, most of which occur whenever she shows up. Understandably she has a problem finding a place to live. When her niece invites her to stay at a retirement home for old knitters, it seems ideal - until one of its members dies from drinking poisoned punch. Who did it? Was it Matilda, the president of the Crazy Quilt Club, or Lydia, who likes to die on Tuesdays? Could it be Clara, who's a compulsive liar, or the wisecracking Sarafina who doesn't trust anybody and c...

  Going Bare

Comedy by Mary Jane Taegel

68 pages

3 m, 2 w


Dr. Jack Ramsay, an obstetrician/gynecologist, is "going bare," that is, going without insurance coverage to avoid paying outrageous malpractice premiums. When he is hit with a frivolous lawsuit to the tune of $4.2 million, Jack and his devoted wife, Barbara, conspire to get a divorce that puts all their assets into her name. "You'll be too poor to sue because I'll have all your money," she chirps. Possibly a destitute doctor will discourage the plaintiff's attorney from pursuing a large settlement. Jack loves the idea and so the divorce plans proceed over th...

  Barbecuing Hamlet

Farce by Pat Cook

69 pages

5 to 6 m, 7 w


Wouldn't it be great fun to direct William Shakespeare's "Hamlet"? That was what Margo Daley always thought...until she is hired to do just that by the Peaceful Glen Memorial Players in their theater, a renovated funeral home. They DO have a couple of conditions, however. Margo has to make the play a melodrama, so the audience will know when to throw the popcorn. And they can't be too loud because the lady who lives under the theater bangs her cane on the stage. Oh, and Margo has to insert the sponsors' names into the play and, by the way, has to take place i...

  Not a Creature Was Stirring

Christmas Comedy Holiday by Pat Cook

69 pages

4 m, 5 w


Missing the Christmas spirit? Has the Yuletide you up in knots? Then subscribe to the Herald Tribune, where editor J.J. Garnes makes sure he uses the holiday to his own advantage, whether it be to expose the crooked mayor or sell a few more issues with just the right angle. And he thinks he finds that angle when he receives a letter from a small boy who "don't want no more Christmases." Delilah and Sarah, Garnes' assistants, are equally cynical until they find a "Wish Moose," a Christmas ornament that grants their fondest wishes. Do they believe? It's up to B...

  Insane With Power

Comedy by Scott Haan

67 pages

3 m, 3 w


Lois Lancaster is a big-city journalist writing about the current state of mental health facilities. Her research takes her to a hospital populated with a unique group of quirky inmates who imagine they are crime-fighting superheroes. Speed Freak thinks he can run at incredible speeds, while Dim Bulb, the most enthusiastic person on the face of the earth, thinks he has the ability to turn off lights with his brain. Mental thinks she can read minds, despite being prone to sudden outbursts of bizarre non-sequiturs. Kevin, much less quirky and flamboyant than th...

  Nosferatu: Legend of Dracula

Horror by L. Don Swartz

76 pages

21 characters. 6 to 8 men, 8 to 10 women,


No modern-day monster can equal the chill factor than that of Dracula and his nosferatu, the undead who must feed on the blood of the living to exist. Their lust, shown only in the darkest hours, haunts even the bravest of us mortal souls. This adaptation of Bram Stoker's 1897 novel is done with a sure and steady hand by frightmesiter L. Don Swartz. We encounter Dracula's horror from his centuries-old castle in Europe, to the ship he travels on, and finally to his new feeding grounds near an English asylum. When Dracula causes the death of a young woman named...

  The Lottie & Bernice Show

Comedy by L. Don Swartz

58 pages

4 m, 3 w, extras


Two old grumpy Polish ladies, Lottie and Bernice, become trapped in a television studio by a blizzard and end up taking over Western New York’s favorite morning show “Buffalo Yak.” Well, they do have some help. Two constantly bickering janitors, Hal and Sal, agree to handle the editorials while Candy Bickel, a wildly ambitious station intern who sees the blizzard as her break into media stardom, takes over the news desk. Neurotic program director Virgil Mooch tries to help, despite the fact that being on-camera makes him throw up. Lloyd Block, the station man...

  The Nick of Time Christmas Show

Christmas Comedy Holiday by Sam Havens

53 pages

Flexible cast of 10 to 34


Meet a theatre troupe whose Christmas spirit sparkles far more than their acting talent! In this two-act collection of comedy scenes, amateur thespians are preparing a Christmas Eve production at the community center, but nothing is working right. Meet Jordan, who demands fresh flowers in his dressing room (the broom closet); Nicky, whose Christmas monologue is "enhanced" with all the wrong sound effects; and Red who's more than a little worried that Marley's ghost haunts the backstage. Boss, the director, is about to lose his mind! And it doesn't help that L...

  Last Will & Testament

Comedy Mystery by Lisa Patrick-Wilkinson

41 pages

3 m, 2 w


Texas was never this fun - or this deadly! Jonas Carmody, President and Founder of Carmody Oil, is dead of natural causes at the age of 78, leaving an estate valued in excess of $30 million. The heirs apparent are in for a big surprise when they gather together with his friends and business associates for a memorial dinner in his honor. Unbeknownst to his eccentric family, a surprise reading of the will is on the menu, and murder is certain to be a la mode! As the story unfolds and the family unravels, it seems everybody wants more than their fair share. But ...

  Burglars, Bunglers, and Neighborhood Thieves

Farce by Daniel Munson

23 pages

1 m, 5 w


When two big-time bunglers like John and Darlene attempt to burglarize an apartment, they get a coat hanger stuck in the door lock and then manage to accidentally ring the doorbell. When they do finally break in, Darlene's nervous bladder forces her to make an emergency bathroom visit. All this ruckus wakes up the bunny-slipper wearing homeowner, Erica, who discovers she is being burgled by her own husband. And if this wasn't weird enough, Darlene claims she is really a "cat burner" instead of a "cat burglar." All this, and the show has just begun! Is John re...

  Penny for Your Thoughts

Comedy by Scott Haan

83 pages

3 m and 7 w (With optional extended ending: 7 m and 8 w)


Penny Ramsey is a young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality. They are personified in the story by comically stereotypical characters, collectively known as the Egos. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s bo...