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  Marquis Crossing Ladies Society's First Attempt at Murder

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

57 pages

3 m, 6 w


You think it's easy to write a murder? Just ask the Marquis Crossing Ladies Society for the Arts. They decide to do just that, especially when they find out they have to pay royalties to do someone else's play. "Anybody can write a murder," Emma tells the others, and Opaline immediately begins to try to strangle the other members "just to figure out how to do it." The ladies soon find themselves writing an "operatic murder mystery dinner theater with possible audience participation," providing no one sells fruit to the audience. Then two actual convicts on th...

  Dead Giveaway

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

69 pages

1 m, 6 w


"If there's any skeletons in the closet, I'll find them!" states Angie, who then opens a closet and has a skeleton literally fly in her face. This is one of the many surprises that faces the undercover police woman who just took on a job as a "domestic engineer," hired by Dr. Hugh Bernard to "find out what's going on." Five elderly spinsters live in the same house and all, apparently, hate each other. And what a group. There's Evelyn, who keeps acting out death scenes for Fiona, who's writing some sort of novel. Then there's Catherine, who keeps alluding to h...

  Murder for Dummies

Comedy by Pat Cook

79 pages

6 m, 10 w, much doubling possible


“So you want to commit a murder.” This is the first line in a book purchased by Myron Bernhart. And here’s a guy who knows his books since he’s collected some rare ones and proud of it. That is until his nagging wife, Marge, decides to sell them. He tries to reason with her but is argued down, not only by her but the Civic Arts League, her cronies who, of course, meet constantly at their house. When all else fails, Myron realizes it’s time to take drastic action and plans it all out. Of course, his imagination tends to wander a bit--from German psychiatrists ...

  Much Ado Out West

Comedy by Wade Bradford

48 pages

5 m, 9 w, extras


Pedro, Ben and Claude discover that while they've been away at the Civil War, Betty and the other womenfolk have been doing all of the roping and ranching. This Western romp is inspired from Shakespeare's hilarious battle-of-the-sexes romantic comedy, "Much Ado About Nothing." Despite how much the cowpokes and the ladies of the ranch taunt each other, love seems to be in the air. Claude falls head over heels in love with Winny, a lovely Southern belle, but Calamity Jane, a rambunctious tomboy, secretly longs for Claude's affections and is bent on stirring up ...

  Christmas Comes to Detroit Louie

Adult Christmas by Bobby G. Wood

40 pages

7 m, 7 w


In this rest home-clinic setting on Christmas Eve, a group of people are waiting to see the doctor. Among them are Detroit Louie, the hard-hearted pickpocket; Harry, his dumb, but loyal right-hand man; John and Cara, who have just brought their father to be committed permanently and the Old Man, who refuses to believe his son would do such a thing. Also present are Mrs. Aiken, the hypochondriac, and the Blind Girl, who believes strongly in helping others; and Angel No. 2, who is on probation. She must make this mission count in order to get her wings back. Sh...

  If the Good Lord's Willing and the Creek Don't Rise

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 5 w


This zany comedy, in the spirit of Kaufman and Hart, centers on Doc, an eccentric old man whose house caters to all sorts of characters. Now a retired judge, he spends his days “enjoying life.” When he’s not flying around the countryside in his balloon or fishing in a nearby dry riverbed, he works on his books of nonsense. This prompts his daughter, Charlotte, to decide he’s lost his marbles. So, conspiring with a sly lawyer, she plans to not only become his guardian but also sell his house and property. Throw in a psychologist on her first case, love sick te...

  Wage Warfare

Comedy by Scott Haan

75 pages

2 - 3 m, 4 w


If you've ever had a job, or wished you hadn't, this office comedy is for you. Even on a good day, tensions run high in the customer service department of The Treasure Chest because of two female coworkers who can't stand each other, and a third who is constantly stuck in the middle. But when a chance for a promotion suddenly appears, all three women find themselves fighting for the job, although they don't all fight fair. Will the promotion go to daydreamer Hope, saintly Bonnie, or snarky Louise? A madhouse free-for-all of schemes, sabotage and unlikely alli...

  The Miscreants’ Christmas

Christmas Dinner Christmas Comedy by Bill Hand

42 pages

3 m, 2 w, 1 girl


   Father Christmas has been kidnapped! And it's only a week ’til Christmas! Facing disaster, Mother Christmas calls the Council of Fictional Christmas Characters (who have developed some humorous quirks since their stories ended) to solve the crime in this comical Yuletide mystery spoof. With bright dialogue, plot twists and comic confrontations, this show is for everyone! Mother Christmas, Scrooge, Tiny Tim, Jack Frost, the heroes of O. Henry’s “Gift of the Magi” and the strange little girl Want from “A Christmas Carol” join forces to bring their Victorian-...

  Scrooge Has Left the Building

Christmas Comedy Holiday by Pat Cook

21 pages

4 m, 2 w


It's Christmas time. An old man sits in his sitting room eating his porridge. Just then Marley bursts in and begins to rattle his chains, scaring the man half to death. You all know the story or do you? "I have come to save you from a horrible fate, Ebenezer Scrooge!" Marley shrieks. "I'm not Scrooge!" the man points out. "He moved!" Sure enough, Marley is at the wrong house. Not only the wrong house but on the wrong night. "This is Christmas eve EVE," the old man tells him. "I'm sorry, I've been dead!" Marley alibis. Then the other three ghosts show up. "Wil...

  It's All an Act

Comedy by Carl L. Williams

32 pages

Flexible casting


Here's a delicious trio of short plays about the theatre.

 

In "Must the Show Go On?" (3 m, 1 w) everything goes wrong on opening night. The four actors persevere despite a drunk in the tech booth, a "costume failure," a prop gun that doesn't fire and a sneezing corpse!

 

In "Can't You See We're Acting?" (2 m, 3 w) three older people create havoc from their front-row seats as they unwrap pieces of hard candy, snor...

  Burglars, Bunglers, and Neighborhood Thieves

Farce by Daniel Munson

23 pages

1 m, 5 w


When two big-time bunglers like John and Darlene attempt to burglarize an apartment, they get a coat hanger stuck in the door lock and then manage to accidentally ring the doorbell. When they do finally break in, Darlene's nervous bladder forces her to make an emergency bathroom visit. All this ruckus wakes up the bunny-slipper wearing homeowner, Erica, who discovers she is being burgled by her own husband. And if this wasn't weird enough, Darlene claims she is really a "cat burner" instead of a "cat burglar." All this, and the show has just begun! Is John re...

  The Money in Uncle George's Suitcase

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 5 w


When Uncle George invites his whole family up for a weekend of fun at his rustic cabin, he actually wants them together so he can read his will. But between the bequeathing and his rambling stories, George drops the bomb that somewhere on the property is a suitcase holding four hundred and eighty thousand dollars! What follows is a hilarious farce of pettiness, slander, and greed. The relatives end up wrestling each other, falling down the stairs, and getting stuck in the furniture. "Yep, we're gonna have lots of fun!" says George as he's seen carrying a shov...

  One Wife Too Many

Comedy by Tony Howell

72 pages

6 m, 9 w, and 6 flexible


James Holden, TV star, is a busy man. He has just returned from his honeymoon with his 4th wife, or so he thinks. Turns out his first wife, Velvet, didn’t die in that avalanche five years ago after all. And his second wife, Phoebe, didn’t file the divorce papers correctly. And his third wife, Rita, didn’t sign the annulment. Rita’s current fiancé, Max, happens to be a mob boss and has decided to take the annulment into his own hands. Everyone has their own agenda as they make their way to James’s apartment. Max and his goons arrive and begin to take hostages ...

  Importance of Being Earnest

Classic by Ken Womble

62 pages

4 -5 m, 4 w


“The Importance of Being Earnest” is Oscar Wilde's most perfect, and most popular, play. Since its premiere in 1895, it has given joy to generations of theatergoers. The play is often called a "comedy of manners," because in the world Wilde knew and wrote about, late 19th century British high society, manners were everything. In this play, young Jack Worthing and his good friend Algernon find themselves in a ridiculous situation after their fiancées learn they are coincidentally engaged to the same man. A glorious rendition of mistaken identity, Wilde's play ...

  Kold Radio, Whitefish Bay

Comedy by Phil Olson

72 pages

5 m, 4 w, 1 girl, 1 male voice-over


KOLD Radio is located in a corner of Carl and Lena's Place for Beer in a small Minnesota town near the Canadian border. Lars Knudsen is the host of a radio show called "Crappie Talk," devoted entirely to ice fishing for crappies. Because it is a somewhat narrow subject, Lars has no listeners, so he loses his only advertiser, Ole's Bait Mart and Deer Petting Farm. Martha Bjorklund, Lars' unrequited love interest, hosts "Book Beat." She has all the listeners, and all the advertisers. Lars has issues with Martha ever since she beat him in the 50-yard dash in 6th...