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  Cheerio, Y'all

Melodrama by Whitney Ryan Garrity

55 pages

4 m, 6 w


Ivory Keyes, the sharp-tongued, shoot-from-the-hip piano player from the "Calamity Gulch" trilogy, is back in her own brand-new adventure. When Ivory learns that her uncle, Lord Ebony Keyes, has died, she and Sheriff Prettyfoot travel to England to claim the inheritance. The family solicitor, Basil Q. Wainscoting, Esquire, plots to keep the estate to himself by proving Ivory to be "unvirtuous." His plans are foiled when his handsome nephew, Heathcliff, a poet, falls instead for pretty secretary, Paisley Fairfax. Before too long, a storm is raging outside and ...

  Scrambled

Comedy by Pat Cook

74 pages

6 m, 8 w


Purdy, who runs her Showtime Café famous for such dishes as “Fistful of Dollar Pancakes” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Ham,” is getting ready for a food critic, hoping for a great write-up. But that’s the least of her worries when she learns her old boyfriend is back in town. She and Austin made a pledge that if they weren’t hooked up with anyone else in twenty-five years they’d get together. Amelia and Celia, two gossips, have it all over town in no time! Jeanie, the teen who works for Purdy, thinks it’s so romantic and soon she and Cody Barnes get engaged! ...

  Dis-Order in the Court!

Farce by Pat Cook

61 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras as desired


First came Judge Wapner, then Judge Judy. Now comes Judge Clapham. But his court is a little more, shall we say, colorful than most. People come to court to bring announcements of car washes, to hold quilting bees and to drop off their mortgage payments. And what starts out as just another lazy day suddenly changes when shyster lawyer E. Z. Miles has the Judge marry two people madly in love...only to find out that the groom is on trial for embezzlement and the only witness against him is his new bride. "A wife cannot testify against her husband, right, Judge?...

  Luau for King Lear

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 9 w


The Peaceful Glen Memorial Players are about to mount a new production, but this time, it's a fight for their lives. It's not just the usual hand-to-hand combat between board members Duncan and Hope for the last donut. This time the company is about to lose their building. According to the late Archibald Donnelly's will, they could keep the building as long as they do "quality productions." Oh, they have tried, in their own left-field way, to do the classics. "Isn't it true," family heir Blair Beesley asks, "that you did 'Twelve Angry Men' with five actors an...

  Acting Rich

Farce by Robert Frankel

63 pages

6 m, 7 w


See the butler and maid help the Cummings pack. See the butler and maid escort the Cummings out the door. See the butler and maid turn to each other and embrace because they are actually two aspiring actors, Billy and Wendy, who now have the Cummings estate to themselves! One week of acting rich! Unfortunately for them, they won't be alone and they aren't the only ones acting. For all kinds of weird and hilarious reasons, the neighbor is posing as a cleaning lady; the Cummings' daughter is acting like a family friend; the jewel thief is acting like a long-los...

  Noodles

Comedy by L. Don Swartz

61 pages

5 m, 6 w


Ideal comedy for community theatres! Ned is the 30-ish son of Ma and Pa Boodle whose efforts to introduce girlfriends to his family don't turn out very well. His family is somewhat "colorful"-his mother is a June Cleaver type at her homiest; his father is pretty clueless his grandpa manages a cat (rescue) house; and his sister Lulu is a hypochondriac with an equally germ-o-phobic boyfriend, Luke. Also there's the ever-helpful Jack, who resides in a cardboard appliance box in the middle of the Boodle living room, and the neighbor, Mrs. Doodah-Doodah. But Ned's...

  Murder at the Book Club

Comedy Mystery by Sam Havens

60 pages

5 m, 5 w


This is one club where members’ lives are not an open book! Tonight’s meeting of the Queen Anne Murder Mystery Book Club takes a dark twist when a threatening telephone call sets the group on edge. Suddenly all the lights go out and gentle Nellie is murdered. But who is the killer…and why? Do those eerie masks mounted on the wall or that unusual hanging mobile mean anything special? And then a rock with a message attached is thrown against the house jolting everyone even further. Inspector McAdoo follows the clues but soon another murder takes place. Accusati...

  Mastermime (Or Don’t Mime if I Do)

Comedy by Katie B. Oberlander

24 pages

3 m, 3 w, 6 flexible


Tomorrow is opening night at The Grand Old Theatre and Mastermime, a notorious criminal who distracts audiences with entrancing mime routines and then disappears with their valuables, has defaced the theatre marquee and is terrorizing the stagehands. Will hard-boiled detective Stanton Ovation and his earnest sidekick Deputy Hammet Upp capture this mute but expressive villain before he steals self-absorbed celebrity actress Ima Starr’s diamonds? Or is there more to this case than it seems? Ima’s talkative assistant Roberta, who was a forensic scientist before ...

  Dracula in Love

Comedy by Renee Rebman

60 pages

6 m, 5 w


Raven and Lulu are two young women seeking refuge who become unexpected guests at Dracula’s annual Halloween party. Igor the hunchback and their host, Dracula, seem friendly but chills and laughter escalate as monstrous guests arrive. It becomes clear that Zack the Zombie, Frankenstein, and the mummified Egyptian Queen Nefertiti are not in costume but are real…and possibly dangerous. An out-of-season Ghost of Christmas Past even makes an appearance and takes Dracula on a journey of discovery. Will Dracula’s affection for one of the girls keep her safe, or is ...

  She Was Only a Garbageman's Daughter

Melodrama Musical by Earl Reimer and Marshall Lawrence

69 pages

4 m, 6 w


Even though lovely young Julia works hard, she and her aunt will not be able to afford to keep their humble home, which sits at the edge of a garbage dump. If they lose their home, they’ll also lose the treasure Julia’s papa buried somewhere on the property that would take care of all their needs. (Hero Dan would ask his parents for money to help Julia, but alas, he too is an orphan.) As they try yet again to figure out the special riddle to the treasure’s location, a German Mennonite detective appears on the case and is soon followed by two old ladies with l...

  The Joker Fired Twice

Comedy by Pat Cook

74 pages

5 m, 6 w


"I wasn't expecting anything to happen," intones detective Ace Baxter, "and that's just when anything CAN happen!" And happen it does, as Ace finds himself in a locked room standing in front of the only exit with a murder victim who was shot in the back ... and with Ace's own pistol. Shadows loom large when you're on the lam, as Ace finds out, whether he's disguising himself as a cleaning woman to inspect the scene of the crime, or ducking Sergeant Flint, who's chomping at the bit to clamp the cuffs on Baxter. The Professor helps out when he can, vowing to al...

  Passage Into Fear

Drama Mystery Thriller by Charles Caratti

80 pages

6 m, 5 w, 1 girl


It is 1917, and three years into the worst war anyone has ever seen.  Kate, a young American woman, is approached by an elderly dowager, Mrs. Lillian Merriweather, as they board a transcontinental train from Venice, Italy to Zurich, Switzerland.  Mrs. Merriweather insists she knows of a sinister plot—with vast international repercussions— involving the other passengers. She tasks Kate with ensuring the authorities receive a secret message if she is unable to deliver it herself. When she promptly disappears, Kate teams up with Ida, a young war orphan. Together...

  Great Day In Starflake County Court

Comedy by Mary Bufton

17 pages

6 m, 6 w, extras


Poor Santa is being tried in court for breaking and entering, unfair interstate trade practices, illegal parking, unfair wages, and flying with no flight plan. Witnesses are cross-examined by the attorneys and the jury takes very little time to reach a verdict. One act.

  Penny for Your Thoughts

Comedy by Scott Haan

52 pages

3 m, 7 w (With optional extended ending: 7 m, 8 w)


Penny Ramsey is a young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality. They are personified in the story by comically stereotypical characters, collectively known as the Egos. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s bo...

  Office Zone

Comedy by Burton Bumgarner

33 pages

5 m, 5 w


The employees of Sly-Tech Corporation are bored, uninspired, and unhappy with their jobs, which consist of generating reports no one will ever see. They don't know from one day to the next who will even own the company or if they'll have jobs. When a perky young woman fresh out of college is hired to be their manager, they are exasperated. They are even more incensed when she insists on starting off the day with team-building exercises to enhance their P.M.A. (positive mental attitude) and making them hold a teddy bear when they wish to speak at meetings. Whe...

  PopStar

one-act by Julian Felice

38 pages

3 m, 5 w, 5 flexible, ensemble, doubling possible


It’s the final stages of a television talent competition. The show’s immoral and unscrupulous presenter and executive producer Jools wants a particular contestant to win, and he goes to great lengths to influence the public into thinking his way. However, things do not go according to plan. With the pressure mounting under the harshest of spotlights, an unexpected twist shows that in the cutthroat television business, few can be trusted. The play explores how the media can manipulate public opinion, an important theme in today’s unpredictable world. The show ...

  Dear Santa

Holiday Play by Robert Frankel

69 pages

Flexible cast, approx. 6 - 8 m, 6 - 8 w


"Dear Santa" is composed of a number of short scenes that range from the hilarious to the touching. Many views of Santa are seen - from the point of view of the child who alphabetizes her Christmas list and sends it out in August as well as that of children at various stages of belief - and disbelief! Santa and his helpers shed light on many of the mysteries surrounding him, including why you don't always get the gift you ask for, how Santa delivers all those gifts in one night, how he finds children spending Christmas away from home, and how his power transc...

  Attack of the Lake People

Comedy by Pat Cook

64 pages

5 m, 5 w


"I wish just once we could have a family get-together without somebody getting tied up!" This plaintive request, yelled at the top of her lungs by Aunt Clarise, gives you a pretty good idea of how family reunions go for this particular gang. Peri has taken her husband Graham to the family lake house to finally meet the clan. And Graham was looking forward to it. That is, until he gets overcharged by the taxi service, takes a large swig from the Major's private stock and has a wax apple stuck in his mouth, only to be dislodged by a slap on the head. It's littl...

  Return to Calamity Gulch

Melodrama by Whitney Ryan Garrity

58 pages

3 m, 6 w, 3 flexible parts


The Culpeppers open the doors to the Last Chance Inn once again in this hilarious sequel to "Last Chance Inn, Calamity Gulch." Ma's just as harried, Pa's just as cantankerous, and Horace Prickley is just as villainous! This time he plots to woo and wed the woeful Widder Black and take control of her fortune. It seems, however, that Horace may have to share the money with the Widder's noble nephew, Peter Loveless...if the young man finds a bride before the week is out. Enter two likely prospects - Pansy Perriwinkle (the most annoyingly sweet heroine ever to gr...

  Girl in the Tutu

Melodrama by Carl L. Williams Eddie Cope

54 pages

6 m, 6 w


Here's a fast-moving, fun-filled play that mixes melodramatics with show business. Sonny Nuggett, a young, handsome theatre student (the hero, of course!) tries to assemble a dance act to save his parents' failing restaurant in the Gold Country of Old Californy. Col. Questus Quantrell, a shady showman with hypnotic powers, appears with three clumsy dancing girls. He schemes to take over the café by plotting murder and cheating two old prospectors, Pa and his old partner, Fred, out of their newly re-found "lost" goldmine. Fred is the father of Cora, a beautifu...

  Troy: Sacrifice and Survival

Greek Tragedy by Philip Lerman

44 pages

7 m, 11 w. Much doubling possible.


The terrible waste of war never seemed more contemporary than in these quintessential tragedies by Euripides set before and after the siege of Troy. Far from being “historical dramas,” they speak to any generation embroiled in conflict. We see up close and firsthand that war is the most pitiful—and most poetic—of human activities. In the first play, "Iphigenia at Aulis," the Grecian army waits to embark on the conquest of Troy. The army’s commander, Agamemnon, has been forced to offer his young daughter, Iphigenia, as a martyr to ensure victory. Valiant effor...

  Santa and the King

Christmas Holiday Musical by Novelli and Aaron

34 pages

4 m, 3 w, 4 flexible, extras


Santa’s elves, Flip and Twip, are sent to help Mrs. Santa with her last-minute preparations for Christmas Eve. The two elves spin mischief, but real trouble arrives in the form of King Sarak and his spoiled son, Prince Horace. By royal decree, Horace’s Christmas stocking must include all the toys in the land! When Santa refuses, offering instead to visit Prince Horace in the usual manner, the King has the toys seized, thus jeopardizing the merriment of Christmas. With Mrs. Santa’s guidance, plus cooperation between Flip and Twip, as well as lots of audience i...

  Jim Dandy's Rude, Crude, Dude Ranch

Melodrama by Les Mcclain

57 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 flexible, 5-7 kids or adults dressed as kids


At Jim Dandy's Dandy Dude Ranch for Children, nasty city kids learn good manners and improve their self-images. The Dandy ladies, including the lovely young Melody Dandy, are running the ranch while Jim Dandy is serving an undeserved prison sentence. Trouble is, the ranch is close to the future railroad line and villain Rash von Sphincter is determined to have it. Rash tricks the gals into letting him manage the ranch, turning all the dude children into brats, ruining the ranch's reputation, and (hopefully) forcing Mrs. Dandy to sell. All is saved when our he...

  Sneakypete Underhand's Devious Dealings

Melodrama by Billy St. John

63 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 extras


1920s Hollywood is the setting of this melodrama. Sneakypete Underhand, a villainous doctor, and his henchwoman, nurse Heide Bedpann, are hired to work at a silent movie studio, where Sneakypete quickly hatches a plot to kidnap a top star, Verily Speakwell. Little do they know that when talking pictures arrive, the actress has such a horrible voice her career will be doomed! Sneakypete ends up disguised as a harem dancer to fool the director, Alfred Hitchkick, and the co-stars, including Manly Jawline, a dim movie hero, and Peerless Sneer, the ham actor who p...

  Christmas Lottery

Christmas Scenes by Dave Brandl

56 pages

4 m, 3 w 3 girls, doubling possible.


Three related one-acts are woven together with scenes in a radio booth. George and Mary Williams are $14-million lottery winners. They host "Radio Riches," a local broadcast, where they receive calls and letters from people seeking money, and share stories about the people they help. The first one-act, "How Can They Call It a Fixed Income When We're Always Broke?" is about a retired man who hesitates taking a check from the Williamses, much to the wife's chagrin. In "Bus Stop Baptism," the homeless Preachin' Pearl discovers George's motives to help the poor a...

  Too Free For Me

Drama by R Rex Stephenson

59 pages

6 m, 7 w


The drama is based on an actual trial that occurred in Franklin County, Virginia in 1851. Indiana Choice, a black woman, claims that she and her three children are free. She sues Gresham Choice, her alleged owner, for not only her freedom but that of her three children. Gresham, a prominent citizen with political aspirations, denies Indiana is a free black. The events of the trial are recalled by Margaret Oxley who attended this trial as a child. Oxley is especially fond of Jubal Early, the lawyer for Indiana. As the trial progresses, a variety of witnesses a...

  Bandits of Love

Comedy by Pat Cook

60 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras


Coming to your theatre! All the fast-paced action, all the cockeyed characters, all the romance you'd ever want and still have room for popcorn. Return with us now to those thrilling days of silent movies when anything went and usually took most of the scenery with it. Can B.B. Tackett, one step ahead of the police, make his next movie? Will Freddie Thurlow find true love with the daughter of a fruit vendor and will she be the apple of his eye? And just who brought in a stuffed hamster, anyway? Wisecracking their way through one scrape after another, our litt...

  Barbecuing Hamlet

Farce by Pat Cook

69 pages

5 to 6 m, 7 w


Wouldn't it be great fun to direct William Shakespeare's "Hamlet"? That was what Margo Daley always thought...until she is hired to do just that by the Peaceful Glen Memorial Players in their theater, a renovated funeral home. They DO have a couple of conditions, however. Margo has to make the play a melodrama, so the audience will know when to throw the popcorn. And they can't be too loud because the lady who lives under the theater bangs her cane on the stage. Oh, and Margo has to insert the sponsors' names into the play and, by the way, has to take place i...

  Beets

Drama by Rick Padden

68 pages

7 m, 2 w


At the height of WWII with a frantic need to produce food, yet faced with a critical shortage of labor, American farmers were compelled to accept help in their fields from prisoners of war. While farmers’ sons fought men just like them in trenches and tanks in Europe, the presence of these POWs in rural America led to plenty of emotional conflict at home. Isabelle Hunt knows her husband Fred needs help with their beet crop, so he grudgingly allows German POWs from a camp nearby to work the family’s fields. Fred is furious over the food and privileges the POWs...

  Fallen Goldfish

by Dean Phillips II

20 pages

1 m, 1 w, 1 child, 6 - 16 flexible roles


When Thomas hurriedly flushes the deceased family goldfish down the toilet to replace it with a new one while his young son, Lewis, is at school, he receives a knock on his front door. Greeting him is a golden-clad warrior claiming that he and his Viking-like associates knew and fought alongside the deceased Stanley (the goldfish). With his living room now invaded by these unusual warriors demanding to have the funeral in his house, Thomas must make them leave before Lewis and his mother come home. All just because of a dead goldfish. About 35-minute runtime....