Pat Cook

Pat Cook got his first taste of seeing his work in print while still in high school in Frankston, Texas, writing for the school paper. Then, during the summers, he wrote a column for his hometown newspaper. It wasn't until college, however, when he saw the movie version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" that he decided to try his hand at writing plays. His first one-act, "The Boys in the Halls," a play about dorm life, was produced at Lon Morris Junior College in 1968 and has since vanished in some forgotten trash can. After moving to Houston he soon found other writing assignments at AstroWorld and in educational radio, night clubs and local television. His first play was published six years later. Still, writing was only a sideline along with several other odd jobs, which included playing piano in pizza parlors, acting in local commercials, industrial films and on stage, building scenery and selling pianos and organs. However, more plays got published and along the way, his wife, Rose Ann, taught him the joys of using a computer. This, coupled with his conviction to everything else and write full time, proved to be a turning point in his life. He has more than a hundred plays published by seven publishers. Many of these plays have been translated into Dutch and German. Further, he is also published in Eldridge's religious drama catalog (www.95church.com). He firmly believes that old saying, "The harder I work, the luckier I get," and that everyone has a story to tell, a dream to pursue. "And, believe me, if I can do it, anybody can!"

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  Alfred Hitchcock Taught Me Everything I Know

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

70 pages

7 m, 8 w


Maura Milton applies for a bookkeeper's job at the home of one Tyrone Bartholomew. However, she soon finds out there isn't ONE Tyrone Bartholomew but many. The spry old actor flies from one character to another whenever dealing with the outside world - and that world seems to involve secret codes, hiding people, dodging gangsters with guns, and harboring a wild-eyed lady with an ax. Naturally, Maura starts to question her career choice. By the time the police turn out not to be the real police, Tyrone seems to be the only sane one around! Audiences will be ke...

  The Big Day

Comedy by Pat Cook

64 pages

Widely flexible cast, from 12 to 40+


You ever have a "Big Day"? We all have. Not quite like this group, however. Take the case of Butch and Murph, who decide to hold up a bank only to find that Murph is the "one millionth customer!" amid a flurry of confetti. Or little Phoebe, whose class assignment was to write a 500-word essay on her "Big Day" in which she tells of her birthday party where the dog set the couch on fire. We see the invention of the wheel and what it was REALLY for. And then there's Lucille, who gets her first driving lesson from her father ... the church pie sale being only one...

  The Hitchin' Post

Comedy by Pat Cook

59 pages

6 m, 5 w


Everybody knows that whatever you need, you can find it at Hurley Squonk's general store, the Hitchin' Post. Run by Hurley himself, who is always behind the counter, this sort of "everything store" serves as a meeting place for the locals. There's Pinch Burdett, who spends all his time hawking his wife's jams and making up stories; Mrs. Bastrop, a feisty lady who got thrown out of the town's softball tournament; and Gloria, or "Glow Worm," a romantic teen who camps out at Hurley's magazine stand. But the normal, laid-back pace changes when a young couple from...

  Murder for Dummies

Comedy by Pat Cook

79 pages

6 m, 10 w, much doubling possible


“So you want to commit a murder.” This is the first line in a book purchased by Myron Bernhart. And here’s a guy who knows his books since he’s collected some rare ones and proud of it. That is until his nagging wife, Marge, decides to sell them. He tries to reason with her but is argued down, not only by her but the Civic Arts League, her cronies who, of course, meet constantly at their house. When all else fails, Myron realizes it’s time to take drastic action and plans it all out. Of course, his imagination tends to wander a bit--from German psychiatrists ...

  Madam's Been Murdered, Tea Will Be Late

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

75 pages

7 m, 6 w


Have you ever wanted to stay in an old, drafty English manor with a serial murderer and a ghost running loose in the dark? Who hasn't? Houndstooth Manor simply abounds with atmosphere. "We're lousy with it," the butler intones as he casts a suspicious eye over the paying guests, wondering who is next to be murdered. Will it be the pompous, retired Major who's always going on about how he stopped some uprising "with just a few well-chosen words and a flame thrower." Or maybe the honeymooning couple who know more than they'd like you to believe. Or maybe the fo...

  Legend Of Robin Hood...Sort Of

Comedy by Pat Cook

62 pages

5 m, 5 w, 3 flexible parts, and extras


Would you like to hear the legend of Robin Hood? If your answer is "I Sherwood," then hitch up your gauntlets and get ready to laugh. You see, it's a little-known fact that the famous English bandit was a bit of a klutz. As a kid he practiced with a bow and violin instead of a bow and arrow, so naturally to fight the king's injustices he needed his famous band of women. Women? That's what you get when you send Little John to do the recruiting! But just as the ladies are persuaded that after they steal from the rich they have to give the goodies to the poor, R...

  The Taming of Judge Roy Bean

Comedy by Pat Cook

66 pages

7 m, 7 w


West Texas in the late 1800s was wild, lawless, and rife with robbers. And that just suited Judge Roy Bean right down to his socks. But when the Judge reads a dime novel about Buffalo Bill, he figures his story should be told as well. And fortunately for him, the "boys," Hank, Pete, and Ralph, have just found a reporter they want to hang. Freed from the gallows, Butler Boone agrees to write Bean's bio...but at what price? Civilization is about to descend on the little town of Langtry in the form of school marms, pushy mothers, conniving matchmakers and an occ...

  Saga of Prospector's Daughter

Melodrama by Pat Cook

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)


Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax wo...

  Murder Runs in the Family

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

64 pages

5 m, 7 w


Heather Pallfeather is a modern-day damsel in distress whose stepfather just kicked the bucket. Or did somebody kick it for him? With this crazy family it's hard to tell! To get some straight answers she hires Jack Sparks, a private eye, to act as her fiance and accompany her to the estate for the reading of the will. Sparks thinks himself a pretty shrewd cookie...until the lights go out and he starts to crumble. Throw in the mother who gets lost in her own house, a cousin who's married to a known convict, interchangeable twins, a stepsister who's looking for...

  All's Fair

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

11 m, 13 w (with doubling 4 m, 5 w)


It is time again for the county fair in Flat Rock, Texas! In between the jelly judging, local politicin' and some extraordinary spoon playing, folks can see "Nature's Boo-Boos," an exhibit where teenager Tommy Rogers feels right at home, especially when he tries to do "Shakespeare in the Park"! Meanwhile, the Ladies' Auxiliary is hoping to collect funds for a hedge around the courthouse to keep all the dogs from frequenting it, while school supporters have set up a fortune-telling booth for money to get the school bus repainted yellow instead of camouflage `c...

  Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus

Christmas Holiday Play by Pat Cook

64 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 girls


"Dear Editor, is there a Santa Claus?"- a question innocently asked by 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon. Christmas was coming and all was right with the world ... until her friends mischievously fill her in on the "facts" about Old Saint Nick. Who could tell her the truth? Not her father, a doctor who is always fighting against old world cures. Not her teacher, who is already fed up with Christmas even though it hadn't arrived. So Virginia writes a letter to the editor of The New York Sun, for her father always said, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Virginia'...

  Scrambled

Comedy by Pat Cook

74 pages

6 m, 8 w


Purdy, who runs her Showtime Café famous for such dishes as “Fistful of Dollar Pancakes” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Ham,” is getting ready for a food critic, hoping for a great write-up. But that’s the least of her worries when she learns her old boyfriend is back in town. She and Austin made a pledge that if they weren’t hooked up with anyone else in twenty-five years they’d get together. Amelia and Celia, two gossips, have it all over town in no time! Jeanie, the teen who works for Purdy, thinks it’s so romantic and soon she and Cody Barnes get engaged! ...