Melodramas & Westerns

28 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 flexible

An evil banker, Char Cole, wants the land the church sits on to build a casino. He sends a bogus mortgage bill demanding the church pay a $10,000 balloon payment to scare the congregation in to selling him the property for a fraction of what it is worth. Church members hurriedly decides to submit a secret barbecue recipe to a contest in hopes of winning the huge cash prize. They even open a barbecue restaurant in the church to raise money. Meanwhile, Miss Phit, the bumbling church secretary, is constantly getting the bulletins and newsletters wrong, sending m...

22 pages

Flexible cast of 14

Smedley S. Snerd, a typical nerd hero, is the star student of Miss Fossil's geology class. He's got a big crush on Marybelle Moosenheimer, the heroine, star cheerleader, and member of the Locks, a group which values their beautiful hair. Other peer groups include the Rocks, who are into "heavy metal"; the Jocks, who are athletically inclined; and the Rolls, a gang of hoodlums led by the infamous macho villain, Mr. G. But brain outwits brawn as Smedley uses his marbles to trip up Mr. G and his gang, win Marybelle's hand, and explain to Miss Fossil the real ori...

59 pages

6 m, 11 w

Doc Robbins, a dentist with a heart of stone, rules the town of Last Gulp with an iron fist. Though folks treat Doc with due respect as their mayor and the only “medical” man in the territory, there’s no shortage of suspects when he dies following a swig of rat-poisoned sarsaparilla. Everybody, it seems, had it in for Doc. Bonnie Vivant wanted to turn her old saloon into a fancy restaurant, but Doc wouldn’t let her. Three old prospectors Crusty, Dusty, and Musty, all resented the fact that Doc had jumped their claims and wondered if he ever struck it rich. Af...

36 pages

8 m, 7 w, flexible extras

It's the late 1890s, and the little town of Astaire, Wyoming, ready to enter the new century as the "Paris of the Plains," has just elected the first female sheriff west of the Mississippi! Daisy Dandelion vows to bring about law and order with just a law book and "good ol' female common sense." The mayor, who's always looking at the “big picture," and his town council are holding a hoedown in honor of Daisy, who loves to dance. But this celebration is tap-dancing with trouble! One young woman, in a burst of defiance against husbands ruling the roost, encoura...

54 pages

4 m, 6 w

Faced with losing the Last Chance Inn once again, Ma and Pa Culpepper turn to glamorous Sahara Hartburn. Sahara pays off their loan with money from a "well-heeled admirer" and promptly takes over the inn. Transformed into the Hartburn Hotel, the place becomes a residence for young ladies with a "no men allowed upstairs" policy. Sahara schemes to find a scandal that will give her new venture some publicity, and finds it when the new schoolteacher, Polly Sincere, is paid a visit by her dapper and devoted boyfriend, Jasper Jones - in her room! To escape, Jasper ...

58 pages

3 m, 6 w, 3 flexible parts

The Culpeppers open the doors to the Last Chance Inn once again in this hilarious sequel to "Last Chance Inn, Calamity Gulch." Ma's just as harried, Pa's just as cantankerous, and Horace Prickley is just as villainous! This time he plots to woo and wed the woeful Widder Black and take control of her fortune. It seems, however, that Horace may have to share the money with the Widder's noble nephew, Peter Loveless...if the young man finds a bride before the week is out. Enter two likely prospects - Pansy Perriwinkle (the most annoyingly sweet heroine ever to gr...

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)

Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax wo...

55 pages

4 m, 6 w

Ivory Keyes, the sharp-tongued, shoot-from-the-hip piano player from the "Calamity Gulch" trilogy, is back in her own brand-new adventure. When Ivory learns that her uncle, Lord Ebony Keyes, has died, she and Sheriff Prettyfoot travel to England to claim the inheritance. The family solicitor, Basil Q. Wainscoting, Esquire, plots to keep the estate to himself by proving Ivory to be "unvirtuous." His plans are foiled when his handsome nephew, Heathcliff, a poet, falls instead for pretty secretary, Paisley Fairfax. Before too long, a storm is raging outside and ...

47 pages

4 m, 5 w, 4 flexible

Flint Buckshot is away at a sheriffs convention, so his daughter, Shania, is the deputy in charge - even though she never did get a horse, badge, or a gun to make it official-like! When two desperados, Saddleback Bertha and Sleazebag Barney, roll into town, they realize they've found easy pickings. Telegrams soon arrive reporting that Flint's been badly hurt. Smelling an opportunity, Bertha points out that since Shania is a novice, Barney should be the sheriff because he has considerable experience with law enforcement (although on the wrong side of the law!)...

83 pages

9 m, 14 w, 3 flexible, some doubling possible.

Luke needs to come up with money to pay the mortgage on the family ranch, and fast. His three friends offer to help him open up a dude ranch, and he knows he has no choice but to accept their generosity. At first, Luke is a little leery over the whole plan, but how hard can it be to teach a few city folk about life on a ranch? But things start to go wrong when his quirky guests arrive. There’s Aspen and Ariel, two hillbilly sisters who can’t keep their hands off of Luke’s friends Nash and Nolan. Next to arrive are Martha, Mercy, and Grace, who want a final ou...

68 pages

11 m, 12 w, 3 flexible

Soapy Smith, a real outlaw of the West at the turn of the last century, has stolen the deed to Captain Billy's Skagway Saloon and is holding it for ransom. The price? Marriage to Miss Molly May, the daughter of Billy's late partner. The beautiful Miss Molly, in love with Titus Trueheart, the local hero, refuses until the unlikely day Soapy can clean up the town. Soapy asks his Seattle "associate," Venus von Trapp, to haul up a shipment of brides to help civilize the town. But when they turn out to be pickpockets and thieves, Soapy demands that Molly teach the...

57 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 flexible, 5-7 kids or adults dressed as kids

At Jim Dandy's Dandy Dude Ranch for Children, nasty city kids learn good manners and improve their self-images. The Dandy ladies, including the lovely young Melody Dandy, are running the ranch while Jim Dandy is serving an undeserved prison sentence. Trouble is, the ranch is close to the future railroad line and villain Rash von Sphincter is determined to have it. Rash tricks the gals into letting him manage the ranch, turning all the dude children into brats, ruining the ranch's reputation, and (hopefully) forcing Mrs. Dandy to sell. All is saved when our he...

70 pages

Minimum cast of 13 with doubling: 6 m, 6 w, 1 flex

Dusty Junction is in big trouble! The roaming outlaw Ugly Monroe is terrorizing the citizens. First he shoots stable owner Joe and steals his boots; next he shoots the sheriff and steals his badge; and then he shoots the doc and steals his stethoscope. As the loyal community struggles to hold itself together, timid Deputy Shawn needs to step up and prove he is not Deputy Nancy-boy! He is bolstered by Marlene, the kindly saloon owner; Mindy Sue, his fiery sweetheart; and even Bobby Joe, the cute little boy…er, girl…well, child. The final straw breaks when Ugly...

28 pages

4 m, 4 w

In order to save his darling Lily Lackamoney from the clutches of the rapscallion J. Tamarack Gargle, the hero, Balderdash Trustworthy, goes to the city to find the necessary money. Gargle, determined to have the fair damsel, employs the dirty work of Maxine Mascara to throw Balderdash into the river. However, just as the preacher is pronouncing Lily and Gargle man and wife, Balderdash enters in a blaze of glory! One act.

63 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 extras

1920s Hollywood is the setting of this melodrama. Sneakypete Underhand, a villainous doctor, and his henchwoman, nurse Heide Bedpann, are hired to work at a silent movie studio, where Sneakypete quickly hatches a plot to kidnap a top star, Verily Speakwell. Little do they know that when talking pictures arrive, the actress has such a horrible voice her career will be doomed! Sneakypete ends up disguised as a harem dancer to fool the director, Alfred Hitchkick, and the co-stars, including Manly Jawline, a dim movie hero, and Peerless Sneer, the ham actor who p...