Melodramas & Westerns

28 pages

4 m, 4 w

In order to save his darling Lily Lackamoney from the clutches of the rapscallion J. Tamarack Gargle, the hero, Balderdash Trustworthy, goes to the city to find the necessary money. Gargle, determined to have the fair damsel, employs the dirty work of Maxine Mascara to throw Balderdash into the river. However, just as the preacher is pronouncing Lily and Gargle man and wife, Balderdash enters in a blaze of glory! One act.

36 pages

8 m, 7 w, flexible extras

It's the late 1890s, and the little town of Astaire, Wyoming, ready to enter the new century as the "Paris of the Plains," has just elected the first female sheriff west of the Mississippi! Daisy Dandelion vows to bring about law and order with just a law book and "good ol' female common sense." The mayor, who's always looking at the “big picture," and his town council are holding a hoedown in honor of Daisy, who loves to dance. But this celebration is tap-dancing with trouble! One young woman, in a burst of defiance against husbands ruling the roost, encoura...

24 pages

3 m, 3 w, 6 flexible

Tomorrow is opening night at The Grand Old Theatre and Mastermime, a notorious criminal who distracts audiences with entrancing mime routines and then disappears with their valuables, has defaced the theatre marquee and is terrorizing the stagehands. Will hard-boiled detective Stanton Ovation and his earnest sidekick Deputy Hammet Upp capture this mute but expressive villain before he steals self-absorbed celebrity actress Ima Starr’s diamonds? Or is there more to this case than it seems? Ima’s talkative assistant Roberta, who was a forensic scientist before ...

42 pages

7 m, 6 w, and 3 men from audience

The Fool family has found gold on their homestead and now the whole county has been drawing gold diggers - including two outlaws, the evil Wiley Slithers and Dr. What, a hopeless kleptomaniac. Slithers devises a plan to get rid of Ma and Pa Fool and son Ura so he can marry the lovely daughter, Ima. However, she is stronger than a horse and refuses to marry any man until he can beat her in arm wrestling. Not only that, but Slithers and Dr. What must also outsmart the guy Ima has her heart set on, the handsome milkman, Sam Lactose. Local loonies complicate the ...

40 pages

5 m, 6 w, 8 flexible, 6 children

It is business as usual at the Mega-Bite Candy Company. Pop Tart is stirring the chocolate, Stretch is headed for the Taffy Room, Cookie the Clown is preparing to host a tour of young school children, Jan and Dean are experimenting with new flavors of candy, and--most significantly--Graham Cracker is looking for Kandy Kane. As Graham searches for Miss Kane and attempts to propose, Grimsley Krumkake, a dastardly villain posing as a vat inspector, enters with his dopey sidekick, Bink. Thus is set in motion a fiendish plan to take over the world, beginning with ...

36 pages

3 m, 7 w

The fairy tales of Cinderella and Snow White are lassoed together in this high-kicking western melodrama! Goldie Miner had to give up her infant daughter, Ashabelle, 18 years ago to eke out a living panning for gold, but she thought she left her with a good family. Now she's returned with plenty of gold for her daughter but finds Ashabelle wears patched clothes and does all the stepfamily's chores. When Ashabelle isn't allowed to go to the ball, her mother fixes her right up, including a pair of new boots. The next morning Earnest Lee Feelgoode finds the bell...

35 pages

14 parts. (with doubling 2 m, 1 w, 3 flexible)

Yazoo! Get ready for one tall tale of adventure as Sheriff Cyclone Malone must protect his town, Yazoo Junction, from evil pirates! The pirate captain, along with two bumbling crewmen, has somehow managed to build a submarine – with torpedoes! – and is sailing on the river outside of town. Cyclone’s gonna need help to deal with this problem. The sweet schoolmarm (and Cyclone’s gal) Cozy Dumond tries to get a message to the neighboring sheriff, but she is tricked by the disreputable Violent Lavender, captured and tied to the submarine’s periscope. Cyclone and ...

55 pages

2 m, 9 w, 10 flex. Possible extras and doubling.

It’s the year 1890 in Saddlesore City. The Carson Hotel is a fun place to hang your hat and jist have a good ole time with friends and neighbors - playin' cards, dancin', laughin',singin', gossipin' and…drinkin' sassafras root beer by the gallons! Well, that's the way it used to be when Charles was alive but now it's just a sorry-eyed, sad-faced, ghost of a place where even the spiders are bored out of their minds! Widow Henrietta has become overwhelmed with both the duties of hotelin' and tryin' to raise Liza and Skeeter. Her once happy attitude has now turn...

63 pages

5 m, 4 w, 3 extras

1920s Hollywood is the setting of this melodrama. Sneakypete Underhand, a villainous doctor, and his henchwoman, nurse Heide Bedpann, are hired to work at a silent movie studio, where Sneakypete quickly hatches a plot to kidnap a top star, Verily Speakwell. Little do they know that when talking pictures arrive, the actress has such a horrible voice her career will be doomed! Sneakypete ends up disguised as a harem dancer to fool the director, Alfred Hitchkick, and the co-stars, including Manly Jawline, a dim movie hero, and Peerless Sneer, the ham actor who p...

28 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 flexible

An evil banker, Char Cole, wants the land the church sits on to build a casino. He sends a bogus mortgage bill demanding the church pay a $10,000 balloon payment to scare the congregation in to selling him the property for a fraction of what it is worth. Church members hurriedly decides to submit a secret barbecue recipe to a contest in hopes of winning the huge cash prize. They even open a barbecue restaurant in the church to raise money. Meanwhile, Miss Phit, the bumbling church secretary, is constantly getting the bulletins and newsletters wrong, sending m...

55 pages

4 m, 6 w

Ivory Keyes, the sharp-tongued, shoot-from-the-hip piano player from the "Calamity Gulch" trilogy, is back in her own brand-new adventure. When Ivory learns that her uncle, Lord Ebony Keyes, has died, she and Sheriff Prettyfoot travel to England to claim the inheritance. The family solicitor, Basil Q. Wainscoting, Esquire, plots to keep the estate to himself by proving Ivory to be "unvirtuous." His plans are foiled when his handsome nephew, Heathcliff, a poet, falls instead for pretty secretary, Paisley Fairfax. Before too long, a storm is raging outside and ...

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)

Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax wo...

58 pages

3 m, 6 w, 3 flexible parts

The Culpeppers open the doors to the Last Chance Inn once again in this hilarious sequel to "Last Chance Inn, Calamity Gulch." Ma's just as harried, Pa's just as cantankerous, and Horace Prickley is just as villainous! This time he plots to woo and wed the woeful Widder Black and take control of her fortune. It seems, however, that Horace may have to share the money with the Widder's noble nephew, Peter Loveless...if the young man finds a bride before the week is out. Enter two likely prospects - Pansy Perriwinkle (the most annoyingly sweet heroine ever to gr...

48 pages

5 m, 9 w, extras

Pedro, Ben and Claude discover that while they've been away at the Civil War, Betty and the other womenfolk have been doing all of the roping and ranching. This Western romp is inspired from Shakespeare's hilarious battle-of-the-sexes romantic comedy, "Much Ado About Nothing." Despite how much the cowpokes and the ladies of the ranch taunt each other, love seems to be in the air. Claude falls head over heels in love with Winny, a lovely Southern belle, but Calamity Jane, a rambunctious tomboy, secretly longs for Claude's affections and is bent on stirring up ...