Bryan Starchman

Bryan Starchman grew up in the small foothill town of Mariposa, CA., just outside of Yosemite National Park. He began writing short stories in the first grade and fell in love with screenwriting in high school. Soon he tried his hand at playwriting. At UCLA, he spent four years honing his craft. There, he won the UCLA playwriting award for his satire on fraternity life. Unfortunately Bryan and Los Angeles went together like Elizabeth Taylor and husbands -- it just wasn’t meant to be. Now he lives in Mariposa where every night he plays the ukulele with his dogs Maggie and Luna. He teaches English and Drama at his old high school. His plays have been produced over 2000 times in all 50 states and Puerto Rico, in 9 out of 10 Canadian Provinces (come on Prince Edward Island!) and around the world in Mexico, England, Italy, Dubai of the United Arab Emirates, South Africa, Nigeria, and Portugal. He has also collaborated with fellow Eldridge playwright and composer Stephen Murray to create "Just Another High School Musical" and "Parents Just Don't Understand: The Musical." In 2018 he was the recipient of the NBC RISE grant beating out nearly 1,000 other schools and his drama program was featured coast to coast on The Today Show. More information at www.bryanstarchman.com
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  Just Another High School Play

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

73 pages

Minimum cast of 10 plus drama teacher, maximum of 40


Here's a comedy that covers nearly every angle of the typical high school play with a dose of history and improvisation thrown in for good measure! A group of actors, who have apparently been abandoned by their drama teacher, have to fend for themselves opening night in front of a live audience. Their teacher has left them hanging because no one has been showing up to rehearsals and no one is really quite sure what they are supposed to do. The student assistant director and the stage manager step in, find a box of scripts which they pass out to the cast, and ...

  Urban Legends

Horror by Bryan Starchman

64 pages

Widely flexible cast (16-40 actors)


Here is a collection of stories to make your blood turn cold. "Urban Legends" starts with a whirlwind tour that covers many of the famous and infamous urban legends we’ve grown up hearing and fearing. It then delves deeper, dramatizing full stories in chilling detail. In “The Survivor” we meet the sole survivor of a plane crash who has lost his only love, but while the other bodies have been retrieved, hers will never be found. “On Second Hand” features a young man who has a close call with death and suddenly his life is literally flashing before his eyes. “W...

  Parents Just Don't Understand

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

63 pages

Cast: Minimum of 5 with doubling: 2 m, 2 w, 1 flexible.


The hip-hop standard of the 1980s said it best: "There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand!" Here is a collection of hilarious (and often too close to the truth) scenes that all families are going to be able to relate to. This easy-to-stage comedy is a lighthearted look at a "greatest hit list" of classic family moments. Remember when Dad tried to teach you to drive? Or Mom decided that she would help pick out your wardrobe? How about those family vacations when you were stuck in the backseat for hours on end with your annoying sibling, headed f...

  No Signs of Intelligent Life

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

68 pages

Widely flexible from 5 to 29


If you think you’ve suffered too many awkward moments or been in the dark in conversations, just think how poor, innocent aliens feel! Hungry to fit in, (a little too hungry at times!) they do and say things that we humans aren't allowed to. Join in the laughter as these extraterrestrials meet all kinds of humans -- teenagers, rednecks, survivalists and the most enigmatic, tech support nerds. Will these hapless aliens be able to figure out the daily rituals of dating, gossiping at the water cooler, camping, or even fixing our computers? The aliens have the kn...

  The High-Schooler's Guide to the Galaxy

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

60 pages

15 to 40 actors


Four students stare out at the audience. Tomorrow they start their freshman year of high school. There are so many things to worry about: class schedules, bullies, cafeteria food, dating, parents’ expectations, what to wear, and worst of all … gym class! These students need a survival guide and that’s exactly what this play attempts to do with hilariously embarrassing and awkward results. Watch as our guides take us through the gauntlet that is high school. Find out the appropriate way to boogie down at high school dances, discover creative ways to get out of...

  Born to Be Wild

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

62 pages

Widely flexible cast of 32. (Minimum: 2 m, 1 w, 2 flexible.)


Ever wonder why your cat acts like he's king of the world? Or why flamingos stand on one leg? Have you ever imagined what a spider would have to say to a fly just before devouring him, or what "small talk" sounds like when a cannibalistic female praying mantis goes on a date with a naive male praying mantis? Well, Bryan Starchman has given the animals of the world a voice in this hilarious comedy. Focusing on simple costumes and sets, a large flexible cast, and ten whacky scenes, your audience will get to see and hear what animals really think about us humans...

  Just Another Snow Day

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

71 pages

5 m, 6 w, 18 flexible or with doubling 3 m, 3 w


Snow day! In this collection of hilarious scenes we see how an unexpected day off from school can be an answer to a prayer…or not! Sweethearts Mark and Jessica aren’t feeling very sweet when, after a whole night of decorating the gym, the winter homecoming dance is canceled. Meanwhile, Paul is thrilled to get an invitation from Mary to go sledding, if only his overprotective mother will chill. Then there’s poor Julie – will she ever figure out how to get her tongue unstuck from the frozen flagpole? Woven throughout the many scenes, Trenton, a student, and Mr....

  The Pitch

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

28 pages

Widely flexible from 4-20 actors


A young, hungry writer in Hollywood finally has his chance to pitch his original ideas for movies, television shows, and commercials to a major producer. The writer’s ideas come to life on stage as he tries to sell one -- just one -- of his many wacky ideas. Consider (and laugh) as the writer presents previews of a big-budget movie entitled “Thumb Wars”; a reality show about mailmen called “Going Postal”; a game show with the revolting title “Guess What I Just Ate for Dinner”; and even a commercial for a new sports drink called “H2MayO: The First Drinkable Ma...

  Divided We Fall: A Series of Teenage Monologues

Drama by Bryan Starchman

44 pages

Widely flexible from 11 to 20


Everyone has some burden, but shared pain is always easier to bear. This monologue-based play is sure to strike the hearts of teens, showing them that any frustration, embarrassment, loneliness, and grief they are experiencing is not limited to them alone. Some major issues within the dozen monologues include a girl’s concern about her body image, a boy who feels smothered by his girlfriend, a girl who runs to escape her home life, and a boy who feels guilty after failing to defend someone who needed help. Each actor, while wearing a hooded sweatshirt that sy...

  Holiday Celebrities: Criminal Justice

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

62 pages

Widely flexible cast, approx. 12 m, 9 w, 13 flexible.


"Attention all units. Be on the look out for a man with pink wings and a bag full of human teeth. He's considered unarmed and hilarious." What if the holiday celebrities that we all know and love lived among us? Would they still be welcomed with open arms or would their actions be considered criminal? In "Holiday Celebrities: Criminal Justice" we enter the dark underbelly of the holiday celebrity world -- a world where Santa's been dodging his taxes, the Easter Bunny gets caught breaking and entering, and the Thanksgiving Turkey is wanted for grand theft auto...

  You're Making A Scene!

Comedy Drama by Bryan Starchman

89 pages

Resource Book


This dynamic collection of 25 stand-alone scenes and monologues is a perfect resource for classroom, competition, or stage. The diverse material was carefully selected from playwright Bryan Starchman’s most popular shows. From playful monologues, such as “The Lunch Lady Cometh," to the more profound “And I Did Nothing,” this book provides material relevant to teenagers. Scenes include options for two to five, mostly gender-flexible actors, and use minimal sets and costumes. All of the scenes have been deftly edited so that it is not necessary to be familiar w...

  The Con and Other Urban Legends

Horror by Bryan Starchman

32 pages

Widely flexible cast, minimum of 13 actors


Here are three stories to make your skin crawl and your blood turn cold. “On Second Hand” features a young man who has a close call with death and suddenly his life is literally flashing before his eyes. “Who’s Calling?” shows what can happen when a seemingly harmless practical joke is taken way too far. And in “The Con” we meet a charming couple who put their full trust in one another…for better or for worse. After leaving the show you will definitely feel the need to check the back seat of your car and look under your bed before going to sleep; but beware o...