Pat Cook

77 pages

5 m, 5 w

Aunt Ollie has been having a hard time keeping her hotel open and her brother, Earl, isn't much help. Ollie has one hope in keeping her "Home Away from Home" open with investor Judith Pomeroy. Unfortunately, before Judith can get a good look at the place, she accidentally gets a generous dose of Earl's recipe for moonshine. Add one UFO-logist, a psychology major, a fat sheriff and a conniving competitor and this hotel starts looking more and more like a real "home"! Int. set.

65 pages

1 m, 8 w (or 9 w)

Veronica Blather is a sweet little old lady who spends most of her time knitting and solving murders, most of which occur whenever she shows up. Understandably she has a problem finding a place to live. When her niece invites her to stay at a retirement home for old knitters, it seems ideal - until one of its members dies from drinking poisoned punch. Who did it? Was it Matilda, the president of the Crazy Quilt Club, or Lydia, who likes to die on Tuesdays? Could it be Clara, who's a compulsive liar, or the wisecracking Sarafina who doesn't trust anybody and c...

69 pages

1 m, 6 w

"If there's any skeletons in the closet, I'll find them!" states Angie, who then opens a closet and has a skeleton literally fly in her face. This is one of the many surprises that faces the undercover police woman who just took on a job as a "domestic engineer," hired by Dr. Hugh Bernard to "find out what's going on." Five elderly spinsters live in the same house and all, apparently, hate each other. And what a group. There's Evelyn, who keeps acting out death scenes for Fiona, who's writing some sort of novel. Then there's Catherine, who keeps alluding to h...

57 pages

3 m, 6 w

You think it's easy to write a murder? Just ask the Marquis Crossing Ladies Society for the Arts. They decide to do just that, especially when they find out they have to pay royalties to do someone else's play. "Anybody can write a murder," Emma tells the others, and Opaline immediately begins to try to strangle the other members "just to figure out how to do it." The ladies soon find themselves writing an "operatic murder mystery dinner theater with possible audience participation," providing no one sells fruit to the audience. Then two actual convicts on th...

55 pages

4 m, 3 w

Christmas in West Texas can be pretty drab, especially for three ranch hands who usually just decorate a cactus with painted barbed wire. However, when it looks as if their boss' ranch may be bought out from under them, Smitty, Bubba and Eddie decide they better come up with something and fast! Sara, their boss, has just about given up and is putting up a valiant front for her 9-year old daughter Jordan. "This has to be the best Christmas ever," she says to the boys. With "Santy" landing on the wrong roof, Eddie's duck getting loose, and the three ranch hands...

22 pages

4 m, 6 w

"Four score and seven years ago, Christopher Columbus drove his Plymouth on a rock." This is just one of the tidbits of American history according to Dwayne. When asked in class to explain how America celebrated its first Thanksgiving, he launches into the most lopsided account imaginable. Father and Mother of this Pilgrim family get talked into hosting the event. "You have the table," the Preacher explains. And we finally find out how such Thanksgiving staples came about. "I can't believe we're having turkey," Mother groans. "Hey, I ran over it with the mule...

71 pages

3 m, 4 w

Carl, Lloyd and Parker, three older gentlemen who share a large home, need to rent out their fourth bedroom to help with the rent. Their problem seems answered when Will shows up...except Will turns out to be a lady. While Lloyd and Parker like her and want to vote her in, Carl barks back, "We're not voting on prom queen!" Carl's reaction is all part of a plan with Will, his sister, to let her live with them for a while. Before the brother and sister can reveal their plotting, however, the "fun" begins. It's all over the area that Carl and Will are sweetheart...

60 pages

Flexible cast (minimum 6)

Ever wonder why people whistle in a graveyard? Because it scares away the bogeyman. Here's a little gang of stories that, far from scaring the bogeyman away, invites him in and sets a place for him at the table! Listen, gentle reader, while the Caretaker introduces spooky tales from the haunted graveyard that will have you sitting on the edge of your seat and sometimes have you laughing out loud when some of the spectres don't behave exactly as they should. Watch as one couple decides what to do with an old uncle who vowed he'd come back from the dead, and wa...

26 pages

4 m, 4 w

Professor Featherflowers comes on stage and begins her lecture, "How to Write a Play." You're snoring already, right? That's exactly what the Stage Manager is worried about when he peeks through the curtain and tells the Professor to "jazz it up," that she needs to open with a joke. The professor then tells him she did. "You see," she says, "You don't really exist - I made you up. YOU are my opening joke!" Needless to say, he doesn't believe her and calls for his sound person, Shirley, to come out. The Professor then tells them both that they aren't real and ...

21 pages

4 m, 2 w

It's Christmas time. An old man sits in his sitting room eating his porridge. Just then Marley bursts in and begins to rattle his chains, scaring the man half to death. You all know the story or do you? "I have come to save you from a horrible fate, Ebenezer Scrooge!" Marley shrieks. "I'm not Scrooge!" the man points out. "He moved!" Sure enough, Marley is at the wrong house. Not only the wrong house but on the wrong night. "This is Christmas eve EVE," the old man tells him. "I'm sorry, I've been dead!" Marley alibis. Then the other three ghosts show up. "Wil...