Full Length (11-20 Actors)

48 pages

1 m, 2 w, 10 flexible, 1 offstage voice

Ten dim-witted people have been invited to an old house on Dunce Island with the ultimate purpose, unbeknownst to them, to be murdered. Apparently, because of his or her dumbness, each was responsible for the earlier death of someone else. Now, one by one, they themselves are done in according to a silly nursery rhyme hanging over the fireplace. Because they’re not the brightest bulbs in the box, the poor victims are murdered rather easily by such things as vacuum cleaner hoses and live alligators. After several murders take place, they become suspicious of e...

63 pages

7 m, 11 w

Not many people like Sam Slaughter, the world's most successful but most reclusive mystery writer. He's just fired the aging star of his radio mystery show, "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night," and he's two-timing another star with a brainless showgirl. He's also yelled at his butler, his agent, and the show's producer. To make matters worse, a woman from his past shows up with some incriminating evidence. But before Sam can pay off the blackmail she demands, he is kidnapped and shots are fired in the night. It all happens at his isolated mansion where the radio...

60 pages

7 m, 8 w, extras

Here is our version of the Dumas classic. Young D'Artagnan seeks to become a musketeer, or at least see if that brochure about Paris is true. In the city for less than ten minutes, he finds himself facing all three of the musketeers when they are charged by Rochefort and the Cardinal's Guards. This spoof of seventeenth century France pulls out all the stops and is full of outrageous characters from a lying Cardinal who's into magic to Milady DeWinter who cannot get rid of her mother. Throw in a narrator, several star-crossed lovers, a race on stick horses and...

64 pages

8 m, 9 w, extras

A mysterious phantom, who inhabits the depths of a TV studio, creates murder and mayhem to seize a beautiful soap opera heroine, for whom he has an obsessive love! Laid-back police detective Digby Wright does little to allay the fears of the troupers, somewhat of a shaky group to begin with! There's Daphne Davis, a haughty actress whose career is moving fast --downhill; Quentin Harris, a former football hero who drops the ball when it comes to his lines; Lily Ponds, a scatterbrained secretary who can't remember the director's name; Addison Meriwether, the upt...

67 pages

5 m, 10 w, and 5 - 10 flexible

Connor's summer is off to a rough start: the camp bus almost crashes, his cabin mates don't trust him, and the girls on the other side of the camp constantly outsmart him. But when he and his friends Tasha, Parker, and Kimberly investigate the mystery surrounding the "Ghost of Dead Billy," they begin a hilarious adventure that is worlds away from a typical campfire story. This haunted camp comedy with a sci-fi twist has it all: ghosts, aliens, robots, plant zombies and, of course, dodgeball.

83 pages

3 m and 7 w (With optional extended ending: 7 m and 8 w)

Penny Ramsey is a young woman who, like all of us, has different sides to her personality. They are personified in the story by comically stereotypical characters, collectively known as the Egos. The five Egos make up her decision-making process, which gets a lot more complicated when Penny overhears only one side of her boyfriend Matt’s phone conversation and believes he has betrayed her. It’s a stressful time for Penny, made even more confusing by the introduction of a potential new suitor named Rick and the nosy involvement of Penny’s mother (and Matt’s bo...

58 pages

9 – 46 performers possible

We all know the nursery rhyme "Hey Diddle Diddle," but when you stop to think about it...how can a cow jump over the moon? If a cat could play the fiddle, wouldn't it be all over the internet? Why is a dish running away with a spoon? What’s the little dog actually laughing at? And how do they all connect with each other? This family comedy offers seven different outlandish tales speculating about what might be “The True Story of Hey Diddle Diddle.” It has a completely gender-flexible cast of 9-46 actors and runs about 55 minutes in length. Its target audience...

62 pages

5 m, 5 w, 3 flexible parts, and extras

Would you like to hear the legend of Robin Hood? If your answer is "I Sherwood," then hitch up your gauntlets and get ready to laugh. You see, it's a little-known fact that the famous English bandit was a bit of a klutz. As a kid he practiced with a bow and violin instead of a bow and arrow, so naturally to fight the king's injustices he needed his famous band of women. Women? That's what you get when you send Little John to do the recruiting! But just as the ladies are persuaded that after they steal from the rich they have to give the goodies to the poor, R...

80 pages

6 m, 10 w, 2 flexible

Flashback to 1955, the stormy evening before the 33rd annual Knotting Bake-Off, brought to you by J & J Toothpaste. The contestants have gathered at the Knotting Inn down at the Jersey Shore, each hoping that their perfectly crafted baked good will win the coveted blue ribbon. It seems someone’s dessert is more deadly than tasty, though, when they discover an entire gaggle of bratty students have been poisoned during a press conference. It is clear that someone at the inn has a sweet tooth for murder. But who could the culprit be? The egotistical bake-off...

62 pages

4 m, 6 w, 4 flex

“How’d you like to be on television?” This question, posed by future daughter-in-law Anne, takes Loff DuVall by surprise. After all, he and May June had been running the Hampton Court trailer park for more years than either would care to admit. The last thing he’d want now is to be in some reality TV show. In fact, he was hoping he and May June could get away for a while, take a long vacation from the place. He wouldn’t have to listen to Goose Halford’s long stories, such as how his grandpa has a metal plate in his head. “The kids used to catch him asleep and...

67 pages

5 m, 11 w

You are invited to the most offbeat wedding of the season, where murder takes center stage and all the guests are suspects. Neither the groom's parents nor the bride's former boyfriend want the marriage to happen. The family lawyer has a little something up his sleeve and it might involve an enigmatic guest who dies mysteriously before revealing who she really is. When the lawyer is also murdered, amateur sleuth Miss Peabody conducts an investigation punctuated by the traditional wedding events in which the audience can also participate, such as throwing the ...

62 pages

Widely flexible cast of 32. (Minimum: 2 m, 1 w, 2 flexible.)

Ever wonder why your cat acts like he's king of the world? Or why flamingos stand on one leg? Have you ever imagined what a spider would have to say to a fly just before devouring him, or what "small talk" sounds like when a cannibalistic female praying mantis goes on a date with a naive male praying mantis? Well, Bryan Starchman has given the animals of the world a voice in this hilarious comedy. Focusing on simple costumes and sets, a large flexible cast, and ten whacky scenes, your audience will get to see and hear what animals really think about us humans...

69 pages

5 to 6 m, 7 w

Wouldn't it be great fun to direct William Shakespeare's "Hamlet"? That was what Margo Daley always thought...until she is hired to do just that by the Peaceful Glen Memorial Players in their theater, a renovated funeral home. They DO have a couple of conditions, however. Margo has to make the play a melodrama, so the audience will know when to throw the popcorn. And they can't be too loud because the lady who lives under the theater bangs her cane on the stage. Oh, and Margo has to insert the sponsors' names into the play and, by the way, has to take place i...

64 pages

6 m, 8 w, and ensemble cast of 7 w or more

It’s January 1942, in the throes of World War II. Eddie, the owner of Eddie’s Auto Parts Factory in Cook County, Illinois, is struggling now that there is a freeze on the manufacturing of car parts. His secretary, Rosie, wonders if the factory can secure a government contract and be converted to make airplane parts instead— if only they can find the manpower. At a time when the radio and the mail were the main sources of information, and ration books were in every household, Rosie is willing to shed tradition, roll up her sleeves and do her part. She is chose...

65 pages

8 m, 9 w, doubling possible

"All we want is a simple wedding," agree Mark and Colleen as they get engaged. And their simple wedding stays simple, for about two minutes. Then the families get involved. There's the McMasters, who think the Frobishers are a bunch of snooty dudes, and the Frobishers, who picture the McMasters as a crowd of hillbillies. The bride's father keeps offering the soon-to-be-wed couple thousands of dollars to elope, "No questions asked!" The bride's mother decides to call in her sister, who is a sweet, lovely woman, until she becomes "The Coordinator, " a drill ser...