Pat Cook

Pat Cook got his first taste of seeing his work in print while still in high school in Frankston, Texas, writing for the school paper. Then, during the summers, he wrote a column for his hometown newspaper. It wasn't until college, however, when he saw the movie version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" that he decided to try his hand at writing plays. His first one-act, "The Boys in the Halls," a play about dorm life, was produced at Lon Morris Junior College in 1968 and has since vanished in some forgotten trash can. After moving to Houston he soon found other writing assignments at AstroWorld and in educational radio, night clubs and local television. His first play was published six years later. Still, writing was only a sideline along with several other odd jobs, which included playing piano in pizza parlors, acting in local commercials, industrial films and on stage, building scenery and selling pianos and organs. However, more plays got published and along the way, his wife, Rose Ann, taught him the joys of using a computer. This, coupled with his conviction to everything else and write full time, proved to be a turning point in his life. He has more than a hundred plays published by seven publishers. Many of these plays have been translated into Dutch and German. Further, he is also published in Eldridge's religious drama catalog (www.95church.com). He firmly believes that old saying, "The harder I work, the luckier I get," and that everyone has a story to tell, a dream to pursue. "And, believe me, if I can do it, anybody can!"

Picture of Pat Cook.
Sort by
Display per page

  You Can't Beat the House

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 6 w


"I've had trouble breaking into a house before but this is the first time I've had problems breaking OUT again!" So moans Merle to his partner, Howie. These two minor-league burglars have really met their match this time, it seems. They decided on a house only to find, after managing to get into the place, that it's up for sale and before they can leave, Conrad and Glenda, prospective buyers, show up. Merle figures they have two choices - either pretend to be real estate agents or beat it, making the buyers suspect them and call in the police. Merle begins to...

  Every Little Crook and Nanny

Comedy by Pat Cook

65 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 boy


Lillie Scones is a sweet retired nanny who runs a boarding house with one resident and "a cat the size of the Louisiana Purchase." Her two friends, Jocelyn and Carmella, help to pass the time by listening to music and gossiping. Then Stuart, an old charge of hers, rents a room. Lillie is tickled to have him around again, not knowing he is planning on robbing the bank on the corner. Stuart's mind may not be totally on the bank job, however, when he meets Betty. However, when Stuart finds out that Betty is about to graduate from an academy on the very night the...

  Not a Creature Was Stirring

Christmas Comedy Holiday by Pat Cook

69 pages

4 m, 5 w


Missing the Christmas spirit? Has the Yuletide you up in knots? Then subscribe to the Herald Tribune, where editor J.J. Garnes makes sure he uses the holiday to his own advantage, whether it be to expose the crooked mayor or sell a few more issues with just the right angle. And he thinks he finds that angle when he receives a letter from a small boy who "don't want no more Christmases." Delilah and Sarah, Garnes' assistants, are equally cynical until they find a "Wish Moose," a Christmas ornament that grants their fondest wishes. Do they believe? It's up to B...

  If the Good Lord's Willing and the Creek Don't Rise

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 5 w


This zany comedy, in the spirit of Kaufman and Hart, centers on Doc, an eccentric old man whose house caters to all sorts of characters. Now a retired judge, he spends his days “enjoying life.” When he’s not flying around the countryside in his balloon or fishing in a nearby dry riverbed, he works on his books of nonsense. This prompts his daughter, Charlotte, to decide he’s lost his marbles. So, conspiring with a sly lawyer, she plans to not only become his guardian but also sell his house and property. Throw in a psychologist on her first case, love sick te...

  The Money in Uncle George's Suitcase

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 5 w


When Uncle George invites his whole family up for a weekend of fun at his rustic cabin, he actually wants them together so he can read his will. But between the bequeathing and his rambling stories, George drops the bomb that somewhere on the property is a suitcase holding four hundred and eighty thousand dollars! What follows is a hilarious farce of pettiness, slander, and greed. The relatives end up wrestling each other, falling down the stairs, and getting stuck in the furniture. "Yep, we're gonna have lots of fun!" says George as he's seen carrying a shov...

  Money to Burn

Comedy by Pat Cook

69 pages

4 m, 7 w


It's business as usual for Wilson and Associates, a suspiciously funny firm consisting of three flat-broke lady con-artists. They'll do practically anything to meet the rent, from reading horoscopes over the phone to renting themselves out as graveside mourners. One client, a dithering old lady, absent-mindedly drops the tidbit that she has just held up the local bank and the action springboards from there. The girls find themselves in a web of arson, counterfeiting and robbery and then, their worst fears are confirmed, the Better Business Bureau shows up! On...

  PS: Merry Christmas

Christmas Comedy by Pat Cook

61 pages

3 m, 6 w, 1 flexible, 2 girls doubling possible


You ever get a Christmas letter?  You know, one of those notes inserted into a Christmas card tell you way more than you ever wanted to know about the senders?  Karen Brookshire loves writing them. With a boy-crazy daughter, a smarty-pants son and a klutzy husband she has her hands full. So Karen has to write their Christmas letter by herself recalling such events as their daughter's first date, which unfortunately occurred at the same time as two overly-adoring aunts were visiting, and their son's high school graduation where he not only won the embarrassing...

  The Fat of the Land

Comedy by Pat Cook

61 pages

3 m, 7 w


All the ladies at the Thelma Underwood Health Resort are either trying to date Duncan, the new counselor, or plotting how to get rid of Mr. Loggins, a sinister investor with visions of turning the place into a parking lot. Well, most of the ladies are plotting. Francis is busy mugging the cab driver for his Baby Ruth. And just when Duncan makes a play for the secretary, a newspaper reporter shows up to blow the lid off the place. Ulterior motives, hidden secrets and outrageous situations boil up in this all-too-human comedy about what some people will do to l...

  The Man Who Wanted to Be Santa

Comedy With Heart by Pat Cook

76 pages

5 m, 5 w, 1 girl


“Who IS that guy?” That’s what they’re asking each other at the local police station when Santa Claus shows up handing out gifts. This Santa seems to know them all so well…but they haven’t a clue who he is. It’s not like they haven’t seen people dressed for the holidays, especially since Earlene visits costumed first as an elf and then as a big bunny. Even Chief Culpepper has been known to don the Santa suit. As if this weren’t enough to keep them guessing, state investigator Russell Brooks arrives to check on some irregularities. It doesn’t take long for Bro...

  Murder of Scarecrows

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

64 pages

5 m, 5 w


Gerald and Cristine Dandridge always give a Halloween party for their friends. This year, however, they're having the party at their country house. It's a nice little fixer-upper with all the conveniences and one haunted scarecrow. At least, that's the story that came with the house. The night of the party things barely get under way when someone notices the scarecrow has vanished. And when it finally DOES turn up, it's carrying an axe. Yes, sir, this time it's personal! Int. set.

  Uncle Neddy's Last Stand

Comedy by Pat Cook

70 pages

5 m, 5 w


"Doing a kiddie TV show is like playing the bagpipes," Uncle Neddy says. "Who knows when you make a mistake?" And whether it is hunting down an escaped snake or sawing a lady in half, he and his sidekick, Skeezix the Clown, have been at it for decades. However, when the new station manager plans to get rid of his show, it is time for action! Filled with oddball characters, from a neurotic moose-toting puppeteer to a muscle-bound yes-man, this frantic slapstick comedy races along with action on both ends of the stage. Everyone is tuning in to the final show to...

  Doctor Jeckyll, No Place to Hyde

Farce by Pat Cook

60 pages

5 m, 5 w


No one could be more meek than poor Henry Jeckyll, scampering to and fro to the whims of both his fiance and his mother. So when he invents a potion to make weak men brave (well, it started out curing seasickness), what better subject to use it on than himself? It not only makes Jeckyll more aggressive, but allows him to grow a lot more hair. After only one treatment of his potion, he soon finds himself dodging the police and explaining just how that horse got in his surgery. Throw in a wise-cracking servant, a whining fiancee, an overbearing mother and a man...