Pat Cook

Pat Cook got his first taste of seeing his work in print while still in high school in Frankston, Texas, writing for the school paper. Then, during the summers, he wrote a column for his hometown newspaper. It wasn't until college, however, when he saw the movie version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" that he decided to try his hand at writing plays. His first one-act, "The Boys in the Halls," a play about dorm life, was produced at Lon Morris Junior College in 1968 and has since vanished in some forgotten trash can. After moving to Houston he soon found other writing assignments at AstroWorld and in educational radio, night clubs and local television. His first play was published six years later. Still, writing was only a sideline along with several other odd jobs, which included playing piano in pizza parlors, acting in local commercials, industrial films and on stage, building scenery and selling pianos and organs. However, more plays got published and along the way, his wife, Rose Ann, taught him the joys of using a computer. This, coupled with his conviction to everything else and write full time, proved to be a turning point in his life. He has more than a hundred plays published by seven publishers. Many of these plays have been translated into Dutch and German. Further, he is also published in Eldridge's religious drama catalog (www.95church.com). He firmly believes that old saying, "The harder I work, the luckier I get," and that everyone has a story to tell, a dream to pursue. "And, believe me, if I can do it, anybody can!"

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  Dis-Order in the Court!

Farce by Pat Cook

61 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras as desired


First came Judge Wapner, then Judge Judy. Now comes Judge Clapham. But his court is a little more, shall we say, colorful than most. People come to court to bring announcements of car washes, to hold quilting bees and to drop off their mortgage payments. And what starts out as just another lazy day suddenly changes when shyster lawyer E. Z. Miles has the Judge marry two people madly in love...only to find out that the groom is on trial for embezzlement and the only witness against him is his new bride. "A wife cannot testify against her husband, right, Judge?...

  Luau for King Lear

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 9 w


The Peaceful Glen Memorial Players are about to mount a new production, but this time, it's a fight for their lives. It's not just the usual hand-to-hand combat between board members Duncan and Hope for the last donut. This time the company is about to lose their building. According to the late Archibald Donnelly's will, they could keep the building as long as they do "quality productions." Oh, they have tried, in their own left-field way, to do the classics. "Isn't it true," family heir Blair Beesley asks, "that you did 'Twelve Angry Men' with five actors an...

  The Joker Fired Twice

Comedy by Pat Cook

74 pages

5 m, 6 w


"I wasn't expecting anything to happen," intones detective Ace Baxter, "and that's just when anything CAN happen!" And happen it does, as Ace finds himself in a locked room standing in front of the only exit with a murder victim who was shot in the back ... and with Ace's own pistol. Shadows loom large when you're on the lam, as Ace finds out, whether he's disguising himself as a cleaning woman to inspect the scene of the crime, or ducking Sergeant Flint, who's chomping at the bit to clamp the cuffs on Baxter. The Professor helps out when he can, vowing to al...

  Attack of the Lake People

Comedy by Pat Cook

64 pages

5 m, 5 w


"I wish just once we could have a family get-together without somebody getting tied up!" This plaintive request, yelled at the top of her lungs by Aunt Clarise, gives you a pretty good idea of how family reunions go for this particular gang. Peri has taken her husband Graham to the family lake house to finally meet the clan. And Graham was looking forward to it. That is, until he gets overcharged by the taxi service, takes a large swig from the Major's private stock and has a wax apple stuck in his mouth, only to be dislodged by a slap on the head. It's littl...

  Bandits of Love

Comedy by Pat Cook

60 pages

7 m, 6 w, extras


Coming to your theatre! All the fast-paced action, all the cockeyed characters, all the romance you'd ever want and still have room for popcorn. Return with us now to those thrilling days of silent movies when anything went and usually took most of the scenery with it. Can B.B. Tackett, one step ahead of the police, make his next movie? Will Freddie Thurlow find true love with the daughter of a fruit vendor and will she be the apple of his eye? And just who brought in a stuffed hamster, anyway? Wisecracking their way through one scrape after another, our litt...

  Barbecuing Hamlet

Farce by Pat Cook

69 pages

5 to 6 m, 7 w


Wouldn't it be great fun to direct William Shakespeare's "Hamlet"? That was what Margo Daley always thought...until she is hired to do just that by the Peaceful Glen Memorial Players in their theater, a renovated funeral home. They DO have a couple of conditions, however. Margo has to make the play a melodrama, so the audience will know when to throw the popcorn. And they can't be too loud because the lady who lives under the theater bangs her cane on the stage. Oh, and Margo has to insert the sponsors' names into the play and, by the way, has to take place i...

  Mandate for Murder

Comedy Mystery by Pat Cook

72 pages

5 m, 6 w, extras as campaigners


Politics can be murder! It's election night and all the friends and supporters of mayoral candidate Matthew Kensington are throwing him a surprise birthday/campaign party. But there's one surprise no one suspects. An aide is found stabbed in the back with the birthday cake knife! Clues and suspects abound in this frenetic political satire that leaves the audience wondering just who they CAN trust. Great fun for all, with campaigners canvassing the audience as to whom they'll vote for. Not only can the audience question the suspects, but they even get to vote ...

  The Canterville Ghost

Classic by Pat Cook

59 pages

5 m, 4 w


Adapted by Pat Cook From the short story by Oscar Wilde. Hiram and Lucy Otis can't wait to move into their pastoral English manor house...just as soon as the ghost moves out. That's right, Canterville Hall comes complete with a howling, green ghoul, but only if Sir Simon (the ghost) can remember to bring the green mist with him. This classic Oscar Wilde tale spins the Otis family through a maze of dithering maids, blustering bosses and an English realtor who's always looking for a free lunch. The mystery unfolds amid flashes of thunder and disappearing guests...

  The Rubber Room

Comedy by Pat Cook

62 pages

5 m, 6 w


You ever wonder what goes on in a teachers' lounge? Here is your chance to snoop on a gang of educators who'll do anything to relieve the boredom. Whether it is planning ambushes for the principal or dressing up as Vikings, this particular group is beyond compare. That is, until they find out one of them has written a book and used the rest of the staff as examples! Accusations fly like spitwads. Hand-to-hand combat breaks out just when Superintendent Brooks shows up ready to fire Principal Carp and just ahead of a newspaper reporter who asks, "Don't you want...

  A Little Christmas Spirit

Christmas Holiday Play by Pat Cook

55 pages

4 m, 5 w, 2 girls


J. D. Morse has been looking high and low for a special Christmas gift for his grandson. Finally, as a last resort, he wanders into Nick's Emporium, an old-fashioned store chock full of all sorts of gifts and knickknacks. He has a hard time explaining to Nick what he's looking for, but finds himself falling under the old storekeeper's spell. Just when Morse is about to buy something, he runs to the street to chase kids away from his car. When he returns, he finds the store suddenly dark and quiet. A policeman then shows up to run him off because, "This place ...

  Frankenstein, Together Again

Comedy by Pat Cook

65 pages

5 m, 5 w


Helga Frankenstein figures the best way to get rid of all those nasty stories about the family castle and her relatives is to turn the place into a tourist resort. And her very first guests are vacationing Americans Chandler and Lindsey Page. Lindsey just loves the place but Chandler keeps seeing all sorts of odd things, such as some of Junior Frankenstein's "experiments." And the old ranch has just everything: werewolves, mad scientists, sooth-saying gypsies and the usual angry mob of villagers who storm the castle from time to time, just to break up the mon...

  Cut to the Chase

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

6 m, 5 w


WHAM! The Masked Wonder leaps into the room and fights off four or five henchmen without even wrinkling his cape and then...? Then the Hollywood writers of the Majestic Film Studios have to figure out what he does next. Pop, Tiger Lil, Stu, Howard and Dena are stuck until they meet the latest addition to their writer's stable. "Like any of us are writers," says Howard, "or stable." As the new kid on the team, Freddie has a lot to prove, mostly to his overbearing mother. Does he give up and leave with Mom? No chance! Especially not with Dena around! These two ...