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  You Can't Beat the House

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 6 w


"I've had trouble breaking into a house before but this is the first time I've had problems breaking OUT again!" So moans Merle to his partner, Howie. These two minor-league burglars have really met their match this time, it seems. They decided on a house only to find, after managing to get into the place, that it's up for sale and before they can leave, Conrad and Glenda, prospective buyers, show up. Merle figures they have two choices - either pretend to be real estate agents or beat it, making the buyers suspect them and call in the police. Merle begins to...

  Every Little Crook and Nanny

Comedy by Pat Cook

65 pages

4 m, 5 w, 1 boy


Lillie Scones is a sweet retired nanny who runs a boarding house with one resident and "a cat the size of the Louisiana Purchase." Her two friends, Jocelyn and Carmella, help to pass the time by listening to music and gossiping. Then Stuart, an old charge of hers, rents a room. Lillie is tickled to have him around again, not knowing he is planning on robbing the bank on the corner. Stuart's mind may not be totally on the bank job, however, when he meets Betty. However, when Stuart finds out that Betty is about to graduate from an academy on the very night the...

  Not a Creature Was Stirring

Christmas Comedy Holiday by Pat Cook

69 pages

4 m, 5 w


Missing the Christmas spirit? Has the Yuletide you up in knots? Then subscribe to the Herald Tribune, where editor J.J. Garnes makes sure he uses the holiday to his own advantage, whether it be to expose the crooked mayor or sell a few more issues with just the right angle. And he thinks he finds that angle when he receives a letter from a small boy who "don't want no more Christmases." Delilah and Sarah, Garnes' assistants, are equally cynical until they find a "Wish Moose," a Christmas ornament that grants their fondest wishes. Do they believe? It's up to B...

  Pygmalion

Adaptation Classic by Christopher Morse

62 pages

4 m, 5 to 6 w, 2 extras


London. On a rainy evening in 1913, linguist Henry Higgins has a fateful encounter with an impertinent Cockney flower seller. When the girl shows up at  his laboratory the following day, the haughty and impulsive Higgins makes a bold wager with a colleague: employing his mastery of language he will transform Eliza Doolittle from a rough street urchin into an aristocratic lady in just six months’ time. And so begins Eliza's halting metamorphosis … but what will become of the poor girl once this “experiment” is over?

George Bernard Shaw's classic h...

  If the Good Lord's Willing and the Creek Don't Rise

Comedy by Pat Cook

68 pages

4 m, 5 w


This zany comedy, in the spirit of Kaufman and Hart, centers on Doc, an eccentric old man whose house caters to all sorts of characters. Now a retired judge, he spends his days “enjoying life.” When he’s not flying around the countryside in his balloon or fishing in a nearby dry riverbed, he works on his books of nonsense. This prompts his daughter, Charlotte, to decide he’s lost his marbles. So, conspiring with a sly lawyer, she plans to not only become his guardian but also sell his house and property. Throw in a psychologist on her first case, love sick te...

  The Money in Uncle George's Suitcase

Comedy by Pat Cook

72 pages

3 m, 5 w


When Uncle George invites his whole family up for a weekend of fun at his rustic cabin, he actually wants them together so he can read his will. But between the bequeathing and his rambling stories, George drops the bomb that somewhere on the property is a suitcase holding four hundred and eighty thousand dollars! What follows is a hilarious farce of pettiness, slander, and greed. The relatives end up wrestling each other, falling down the stairs, and getting stuck in the furniture. "Yep, we're gonna have lots of fun!" says George as he's seen carrying a shov...

  Stuck at Home

Comedy by Bryan Starchman

60 pages

Minimum 4 m, 2 w, 2 flexible, 2 offscreen voices. Maximum 15 m, 13 w, 2 flexible, 3 offscreen voices.


Join this hilarious family as they struggle to endure being stuck at home – together! Why is the WiFi out, and will their old-school solutions work when all the needed cords are missing from the junk drawer? Will the family secure two-ply rolls of toilet paper in trade negotiations with Grandma? Wait… what has each of them been using? How many family game nights can teens endure? How are the pets holding up? What foods (or beverages!) are critical enough to make a special run to the grocery store? How do first dates and book clubs work while social distancing...

  The Fourth Wall

Comedy by Rebekah M. Ball

31 pages

2 m, 2 w, 5 flexible


Leaping llamas! "The Fourth Wall," a play within a play, begins as a murder mystery, but the murder victim won't keel over. The playwright forgot to give the characters names, and a rude audience member keeps interrupting the show. Even the ending of the play stinks! Everyone is supposed to die and then the character Death is supposed to do an interpretive dance. Thankfully, the audience's agony is cut short halfway through when the actors break character because Death accidentally kills the Host and then leaves the set to move his car. Without Death, how can...

  Crossing Over

Comedy by Laura Mazzuca Toops

60 pages

3 m, 5 w


Six current-day ghost hunters set out to find the truth in the murder legend of Vinney Keller, a naïve teenager who was found dead in her farmhouse cellar in 1903. Historical opinion places the blame on the Keller’s hired hand: Enos Patchett, a lumbering, illiterate man in his 40s, who was with the Keller family for years. But there were other suspects as well. The ghost hunters hope to contact Vinney’s spirit to find out the real story. But for some of the hunters, truth is secondary to hyping their methods and results to increase their media popularity and ...