The First Thanksgiving According to Dwayne
"Four score and seven years ago, Christopher Columbus drove his Plymouth on a rock." This is just one of the tidbits of American history according to Dwayne. When asked in class to explain how America celebrated its first Thanksgiving, he launches into the most lopsided account imaginable. Father and Mother of this Pilgrim family get talked into hosting the event. "You have the table," the Preacher explains. And we finally find out how such Thanksgiving staples came about. "I can't believe we're having turkey," Mother groans. "Hey, I ran over it with the mule, no sense letting it go to waste," he explains. "I just hope the others don't find out they're eating road kill." And the other guests show up, bringing such delicacies as popcorn, cranberry sauce, yams and tobacco. "Wait, this isn't habit-forming, is it?" Father asked Chief. "Nooo," assures the Chief and then turns to his wife saying, "This'll get them back for Manhattan!" And what guests! Betsy Ross, still working on the flag; Clara Barton, wondering what to do with her Red Cross flag; and Hester Prynne, sporting her large "A" on her blouse, along with her sister, Dandeline, who has an "A+" on hers. Then, when space aliens show up, the teacher knows this has gone on too long. However, she asked for it. And she got it: The First Thanksgiving According To Dwayne.
Exposé: Holiday Celebrities Tell All!
Every month many look to their calendars and start counting down the days until the next holiday. But what about those who are working behind the scenes to make these holidays great? What about the everyday problems of Cupid, leprechauns, and the New Year's Baby? Do we ever stop to think about their needs? Their wants? No! And that's why they're on strike. Journey through the bizarre, strange, and riotously funny underbelly of the holiday world as the icons we all know and love go on strike in this comedy. See what happens when hunters try to shoot down Rudolph, the Thanksgiving Turkey joins overeaters anonymous, and the Tooth Fairy goes to the dentist. And don't forget the lesser-known holidays like Bad Poetry Day and Stupid Question Day. They need recognition too, and if they don't get it, we may never see another three-day weekend again!
By Bryan Starchman
Cast: Widely flexible cast, approx. 12 m, 9 w, 13 flexible.
Holiday Celebrities: Criminal Justice
"Attention all units. Be on the look out for a man with pink wings and a bag full of human teeth. He's considered unarmed and hilarious." What if the holiday celebrities that we all know and love lived among us? Would they still be welcomed with open arms or would their actions be considered criminal? In "Holiday Celebrities: Criminal Justice" we enter the dark underbelly of the holiday celebrity world -- a world where Santa's been dodging his taxes, the Easter Bunny gets caught breaking and entering, and the Thanksgiving Turkey is wanted for grand theft auto after stealing a poultry truck and driving straight for the border. The police will be working overtime as they deport leprechauns, arrest Cupid for assault with a deadly weapon, and shoot down witches flying over restricted areas. Call your lawyer and make bail in time to see this satirical play based on all of your favorite traditions!